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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My daughter is going to live with her dad this summer cause he lets her do what ever she wants. Heartbroken

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 111 Replies
My ex husband and I live 20 minutes apart, he lives in the city and I live in the suburbs. Dd is 19 and goes away to college. Ex husband called me today and said she's living with him this summer. I called her and asked why and she said "honestly, you treat me like a baby when I'm home. I'll obviously still visit but I prefer living at dads".

How do I treat her like a baby? I expect her to be home by midnight so I can get a decent sleep, I don't let her boyfriend sleep over, she's not allowed partying and drinking and I expect her to come to church with her step siblings and us if she's not working Sundays. Not too much to ask, IMO. My ex doesn't have a curfew, allows her to "pre drink" with her friends at his house, doesn't care if her boyfriend sleeps over and basically treats her like a roommate.

I just said I thought you were more mature than that to her and hung up, but i was choking back tears. Am I really so horrible to live with?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry.  Divorce sucks because this is what happens - kids going back and forth to different homes. 

You and this man should try to get on the same page here, but it sounds like it might be a little late for that. 

quinnsmom715
by Donna on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:01 PM
6 moms liked this

shes 19.not much you can do about it..and at 19,church should be a personal choice..

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:02 PM
She's an adult now and can choose where she wants to live.
skittleshawk
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:02 PM
She is an adult.Its not your decisions to make.If she's drinking underage that's one thing.She should not have a curfew.church should be her decision.no bf fine because it's your house but if I was her id move in with dad too.
elfling811
by Niki on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:03 PM
2 moms liked this
This isn't personal. She wants to live where there are less rules because she is 19. If you were to more lax parent, she would want to be with you.
Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:03 PM
She's grown. You can call the shots in your home but she has the option to go somewhere else if she doesn't like it. And that's just what she's done.
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Kessiemom
by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:03 PM

You make a 19 year old go to church?

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:03 PM
4 moms liked this

 You obviously are not a parent of a grown child.  It still hurts a Mom to be rejected like that.  I'm sure the OP isn't perfect, but neither is the Dad. 

The parents should agree on their rules. 

A little sympathy would be better than dismissal right here. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You're shocked that your adult daughter, who lives on her own most of the year, wants to be treated like an adult?

This isn't personal. I would have hated your rules too. She's doing what's best for her. Having a fit over this is ridiculous. 

 

LilLadyLadybug
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:03 PM

Besides the church rule, I completely agree with your rules and would be disappointed in my ex for letting her do those things under his roof... but I can't say I'm surprised she'd rather stay with someone who lets her get away with murder.

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:05 PM

 That's true.  And that is a tough place to be, because Mom here has the choice between upholding her values, and being with her child. 

Doing the easy thing and capitulating may be right in the short term but maybe not in the long term.    

Quoting elfling811: This isn't personal. She wants to live where there are less rules because she is 19. If you were to more lax parent, she would want to be with you.

 

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