Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

S/O Do step Mothers have an obligation to Care about their step kids?

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:33 AM
  • 627 Replies
8 moms liked this

 

Poll

Question: when a woman marries a man with children...

Options:

She is promising to be committed to the kids as well

She is not obligated to be comitted to the kids. They are not HER family.

something else.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1447

View Results

So if a woman's going to marry a man that has children from a previous relationship does she have a responsibility to those kids?  Is she obligated to consider them part of her family ? To care enough that she does her best to support her husband in being the best most plugged in father to them as possible? I think she does. I think she may not necessarily "love them as if they were her own" ( some do ) but she needs to be concerned about them and consider them a part of her family and a part of her husband regardless of how the ex-wife is and where the children etc..


thoughts?


Reading that other post ( "My 13 year old stepdaughter is pregnant and…" ) is what got me wondering how most moms feel about this.

by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:36 AM
24 moms liked this

Not her kids.  She is not suddedenly mommy.

She is dad's new wife.  End of story.

The kids have to tolerate her.  End of story.

Just because she married dad does make her anything to the kids.

southern.momof2
by Pirate on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:38 AM
63 moms liked this
You will not get a good answer on this site. I have seen women bashed for being TOO involved and I have seen women bash others for not being involved ENOUGH.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:38 AM
2 moms liked this
It's about the 13 year old knocked up girl i see.
Is it going to be battle of the steps today.
?
JC2223
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:40 AM
173 moms liked this

Personally, I feel that if you choose to be with a person, then you choose all that comes with them. Children are innocent bystanders in the choices their parents made for them in terms of their life's circumstances. Anyone who chooses to be with that person also has chosen to be a participant in the childrens lives. 

romalove
by SakePrincess on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:41 AM
61 moms liked this
I don't understand the concept of marrying someone but not being part of their family and them being part of yours. I understand a stepmother to a child that already has a mother is not equal to that mother. But to completely distance from what should be an integral part of your husband's life? I don't understand that at all.
Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:41 AM
24 moms liked this

I agree that she doesnt suddenly become Mom or even like a mom . BUT , I think Dad is a package deal  and she needs to be concerned about and for his kids , to care about them.  To consider them a part of the family.

So for example if something happens ( bio mom dies , marries an abusive man , develops a drug habit ..) that makes Dad believe the kids would be better off living with him ( rather then their bio Mom) she should support her husband in his parental decision and be ready to welcome them into the home.

Quoting Anonymous:

Not her kids.  She is not suddedenly mommy.

She is dad's new wife.  End of story.

The kids have to tolerate her.  End of story.

Just because she married dad does make her anything to the kids.


MatLeg
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:43 AM
33 moms liked this
I agree 100% I know lots of people disagree with me, but I'm going to say it anyways. When I married my husband, I also married his children from a previous marriage. I love them as my own (and I do have 2 of my own). I take care of them as my own, punish them when I need to, ect.
Yes, there BM is in their lives, and she wouldn't want me to change anything about what kind of step mom I am.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:44 AM
10 moms liked this
Are women really this dumb!!!! So your with a man who doesn't care how you treat his kids wow your with a WINNER Lmao
3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:44 AM
5 moms liked this
This

Quoting JC2223:

Personally, I feel that if you choose to be with a person, then you choose all that comes with them. Children are innocent bystanders in the choices their parents made for them in terms of their life's circumstances. Anyone who chooses to be with that person also has chosen to be a participant in the childrens lives. 

Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I'm not asking how involved or what the step-moms role is though just if the step kids are part of HER family ya know? But you may be right..we'll see.

Quoting southern.momof2: You will not get a good answer on this site. I have seen women bashed for being TOO involved and I have seen women bash others for not being involved ENOUGH.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)