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Am I being a paranoid Step-mum to my 12 year old step-daughter?

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:20 PM
  • 13 Replies

Hello everybody, I'm new here, so, if I'm doing this wrong please tell me so.  

ok, I guess, I better start with my dilema.  I'm a 42 year old woman and I live with my partner of 3 years, he has a 12 year old daughter who I will call Bobo.  Bobo has set days where she stays with her dad and her mum, last saturday she went to her mum's as arranged but before she went away I reminded her that I was off on monday,  yesterday morning I mentioned to Bobo that it was going to be me who was going to look after her instead of her gran (as she usually does) on monday, until her mum arrives to pick her up, I asked her if she wanted to do some baking with me on monday at some point and she agreed, nothing else was said on the matter.  bobo then went to her mum's as arranged, but she was meant to be back yesterday evening as arranged,  everything was fine until my partner told me yesterday at lunch time that bobo wasn't coming to stay over (on sunday as arranged) becuase her mum said that she would just keep her with her since she was going back to her tonight anyway (monday) plus because its the easter holidays.  My inmediate reaction was, why? does bobo doesn't want to spend time alone with me? could that be a posibility? I asked my partner, but he said that I was being paranoid, that bobo would never hurt me, that maybe her mum genuiely thought it was for the best and that maybe bobo didn't want to upset her mum.  Today bobo popped in to get her football trainers that she left behind but she never even mentioned our plan, it was like it was never mentioned! and, I'm feeling a little hurt.  Am I being to sensitive? please help.


mia-mama

by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Emerald Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes you are being way too sensitive. She's your boyfriend's kid. Chill out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 run now before u get the crazy ladys yelling at u for trying to get along with ur stepchild

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:23 PM
You aren't even her step-mother so relax and let her spend time with her mom.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:23 PM
She's being a bit sensitive though.

Quoting Anonymous:

 run now before u get the crazy ladys yelling at u for trying to get along with ur stepchild

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:25 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes, you're being a little sensitive :)
I know you had plans, but the mom probably thought it best not to have dd driving back and forth. My ex and I will do that...if dd comes home Sunday night then because of a holiday has to go back the next day, she will just stay Sunday night, and that will take the place of the next overnight visit. Kids get tired of being in the car all the time. Don't be upset, you can bake another day :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:25 PM
Unfortunately this happens a lot.. Even if you guys have a great relationship she is there to visit your BF not you.
ladybugchick317
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:25 PM

 I wouldn't sweat it. BM could have just thought you could use a day to just relax.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:26 PM

 ik she is being a lil sensitive that just warning her that she going to get bad mouth fast

Quoting Anonymous: She's being a bit sensitive though.
Quoting Anonymous:

 run now before u get the crazy ladys yelling at u for trying to get along with ur stepchild

 

mia-mama
by New Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:28 PM

Yea, I guess maybe I should chill a bit.  thanks for your replies, it has helped.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:29 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you are looking too far into it. I wouldn't take it personally if i were you. But if you notice this pattern more often, maybe ask your stepdaughter if she maybe doesn't want to spend alone time with you..

Maybe she's afraid you'll try to take the place of her mom. Or maybe mom is paranoid you're trying to take her place? Or maybe it's nothing at all.

But really, I wouldnt think anything about it just yet! Wait and see how often these occurances happen!

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