Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"Gay" is a derogatory word

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:08 PM
  • 195 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What do you think? Is "gay" is a derogatory word?

Options:

You did the right thing by standing up for what you think is right

He can say whatever he wants, much like you can

"Gay" is an acceptable word to use in place of "stupid" or "lame". I'm sick of this Hillary Duff politically correct crap

He can say that in his personal life but shouldn't say it at work

Get off your "high horse" and back to work

Other, I'll expain below


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 266

View Results

The craziest thing happened to me at work today.  We took a company picture and as we were walking back to our desks, one of my co-workers said "We are so gay".  I immediately said "What? You shouldn't use that term derogatorily" (and I was proud of my proper adverb use).  He responded: "Why not? It is a derogatory word".  It took me a moment to respond because I first had to process whether or not he actually said that.  As I paused he said "It doesn't mean 'happy' anymore".  My response was "I know, it means homosexual.  You shouldn't have used it the way you did."  He just stared at me so I followed that up with "Do you dislike gay people?".  Pause.  Then he replied "I pray for them".  I laughed out loud and had nothing to say other that "I can't believe you're saying these things".

We stared at each other in disbelief, both of us awkwardly smiling out of disbelief at the other person and not knowing what else to say.  He chuckled and as he walked away he called back "You know I'm right" and I responded with a big "No. You're not!"

I could not believe this happened at work.  I couldn't believe that someone would be so open about being homophobic, especially at work!  I live in New England, we're supposed to be pretty liberal.  I was floored how open he was about it and how little shame he had.

Have any of you had a similar experience?  Would you have responded the same way as I did?  Was I right or should I have said more?

 ** EDIT **

By speaking up I wasn't trying to change his mind.  I wasn't trying to convince him to never use the word again.  I was simply trying to tell him that I find that language unacceptable and I won't listen to it. I guarantee that he will not use that phrase in front of me again, and maybe he'll think twice before saying it at work again. (I was the only one present but I'd be willing to bet that half the people in our office would have said the same thing I did). 

He and I will continue to be friends, this will not affect our working relationship.  We have talked about politics and religion, both of which we do not see eye-to-eye about. 

by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
zeenah
by Zarah on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:10 PM
7 moms liked this

People have their beliefs about things. Not everyone is so liberal.




Big sister to be!

mich2.0
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:10 PM
14 moms liked this
I think people need to get over it. If you're so easily offended, you need a hobby or an actual problem in your life.
outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:11 PM
2 moms liked this
I use the word gay sometimes. I'm not homophobic in the least.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hopeandglory53
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM
12 moms liked this

When did gay stop meaning happy?

AZHOTMOM
by Platinum Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 TBH, I use the word "gay" and I am not talking about a homosexual person or being happy, but rather hey that kinda sucks. I don't intentionally do it and I have tried to work on it lately, but when you have said something for a long time and all of a sudden it becomes taboo, it takes time to remove it from my vocab.

Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:15 PM
6 moms liked this

I sing the word gay in songs. Should the song be changed?

This PC shit is getting so out of control.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:17 PM
2 moms liked this

No matter what his beliefs are, he's going to find the public sphere a difficult place to navigate if he continues with that attitude.  He could get written up, fired, sued... any number of things if he continues to say things like this.  It may not  be illegal in your state now, but it will be soon.  Adios, dinosaur! 

Lilith23
by Platinum Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:17 PM
4 moms liked this
Growing up "that's so gay, oh god that's gay, you look so gay" was just something we said meaning " you look awful, that sucks".
And we've all said it, seriously that horse cannot get higher by any of you saying " oh never, i would never say it".
Gay use to mean happy, now it's been twisted and it became an offensive thing to say in any situation i guess.
3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:18 PM
3 moms liked this

 She specifically said in a derogatory manner. And the world has always been PC.  It's just that the rules of what is pc and what isn't have changed, as it always has throughout history.  Before it was okay to talk about beating or raping a woman a woman in the workplace.  Now, not so much. 

Quoting Elyce225: I sing the word gay in songs. Should the song be changed? This PC shit is getting so out of control.

 

LSeabolt1982
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Yea you probably should not have conversations like these with co workers.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN