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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Cheating...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies
My husband and I met in 1997. We got married in 1999. He wasn't seeing anyone when we met and I had recently dumped my cheating ex fiancé. The relationship WAS over despite my ex continuing to protest my moving on and stalking me for the next year. Once we got engaged, the ex finally gave up. The point is, we didn't cheat to be together. We've never cheated on one another. I don't think it will ever happen.

However, my sister met her husband while still married to her ex and he was married as well. 20 years later she still constantly worries about him cheating on her. Paranoia, is how I would describe it. She says all women feel this way but I know I don't. Our other sister doesn't either. Don't you think it is the fashion in which they met that causes that??
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this
She is projecting her guilt, imo.
MamaRae85
by *you're on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:44 AM

Yeah, I'd think it was the nature of how it began. I don't fear that my husband will cheat.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Police on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:45 AM
Yeah, I think she's paranoid. She still may feel guilty in some way.
danie24
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:46 AM

I think she feels that way because she met him and started a relationship with him in a sneaky, untrustworthy way.

I firmly believe that if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you.

So it's no wonder she lives in paranoia.

krusesbaby
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:48 AM
This

Quoting danie24:

I think she feels that way because she met him and started a relationship with him in a sneaky, untrustworthy way.

I firmly believe that if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you.

So it's no wonder she lives in paranoia.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Where I lived while going through my divorce, my ex and I needed to be legally separated for a year, then the judge would pick a day (happened to be 5 months after the year separation was up..so 17 months total) for the divorce.
I started dating my boyfriend (now husband) four moths after my ex and I separated--so technically I was still married. To my knowledge, my husband does not think I'd cheat simply because of my circumstances when we met/started dating. He's the type of guy that is pretty secure and sure of what he wants in life--a divorce and cheating spouse isn't one of them. (Basically-if he thought I'd cheat on him-he wouldn't have bothered to marry me)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:57 AM
Ya, I get that but my sister had no idea she would be getting a divorce when she started cheating with my now BIL. They met at the gym. I will say her ex husband was not the ideal hubby. He was selfish, stingy with money, childish but he never did any if the bug things like hit her, cheat, emotional abuse, and so on. He was just stupid basically lol. I don't blame her for leaving him but I think she should have waited until she had divorced him or at least separated to even begin something with anyone else, however my BIL came along in a time when she was miserable but hadn't planned to leave. She thought she was just stuck with her husband. Leaving hadn't crossed her mind. He (current BIL) was ALSO married and had no intention if divorcing or leaving his wife until he met my sister.

Quoting Anonymous: Where I lived while going through my divorce, my ex and I needed to be legally separated for a year, then the judge would pick a day (happened to be 5 months after the year separation was up..so 17 months total) for the divorce.
I started dating my boyfriend (now husband) four moths after my ex and I separated--so technically I was still married. To my knowledge, my husband does not think I'd cheat simply because of my circumstances when we met/started dating. He's the type of guy that is pretty secure and sure of what he wants in life--a divorce and cheating spouse isn't one of them. (Basically-if he thought I'd cheat on him-he wouldn't have bothered to marry me)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:58 AM
Ya. I agree. Sad part is, I don't think he would ever cheat on her . He thinks she hung the moon, but she can't see that.

Quoting danie24:

I think she feels that way because she met him and started a relationship with him in a sneaky, untrustworthy way.

I firmly believe that if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you.

So it's no wonder she lives in paranoia.

la-cosa-nostra
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:58 AM

Yes, pretty much. 

AnHpuresugar
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:59 AM
You can't take a specific case and extrapolate the result to all similar cases.

Your sister feels that way. Not everyone does.
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