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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Was I wrong?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

The quick backstory - my brother never wants anything to do with anyone in our family.  He comes around only when he wants something and the kids are no longer in our lives since they no longer need "free babysitting" since they can watch themselves.  

My brother & his family went out of town to spend the holiday with the other set of grandparents.  They do this every Easter which is fine.  The FIL had a sudden illness and wound up in the ICU.  My brother comes back with the kids and my mother immediately invites him to dinner.  Understandable.  The problem?  I had already made arrangments to make dinner and bring it to their house (it's tough for them to spend the day out and I didn't want to spend all day there since I have kids) and eat at 12 pm.  She makes arrangements for them to come at 2pm.  She says she has a ham to make for them.  I said fine, I'll eat at my house.  My dad is furious.  He says he needed my leftovers to feed them?  WTHeck?  I made lasagna for 6, not 10 people!  What leftovers?  I sent over a salad, sweet potato cassarole & peas.  They didn't even bother to say thanks.  AND, they're all mad at me!  

I don't get it.  Were we supposed to go over, eat & quickly leave to make room for them?  They have a round table that seats 4.  The kids would sit at the counter.  

We went over for dessert after dinner so the kids could see eachother and my dad wouldn't even acknowledge me.  

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aurorarosepsych
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah I do think you were in the right because if she wanted them to come spur of the moment she should have been the one to make sure they were fed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:46 PM

And, wouldn't it have made more sense to have everyone together?  And ony 2 hours apart for a holiday meal?  I just don't know what more I can say to get my dad to stop being pissed at me.  

Quoting aurorarosepsych:

Yeah I do think you were in the right because if she wanted them to come spur of the moment she should have been the one to make sure they were fed.


aurorarosepsych
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:48 PM

Yeah a lot more sense.  There is nothing you can say to him just let him calm down on his own.

Quoting Anonymous:

And, wouldn't it have made more sense to have everyone together?  And ony 2 hours apart for a holiday meal?  I just don't know what more I can say to get my dad to stop being pissed at me.  

Quoting aurorarosepsych:

Yeah I do think you were in the right because if she wanted them to come spur of the moment she should have been the one to make sure they were fed.



nerdymom28
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:49 PM

 You were not in the wrong. They were - for making last minute plans and just expecting you to accomdate them. They have no right to be mad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:52 PM

Thank you.  It's just really hurtful since I"m the one that's always there for ER runs, helping to get holiday's togethter, doing yard work, etc.  My dad wouldn't look at me, wouldn't answer me, nothing.  And my brother just acts like it's all normal.  The reason I did everthning was to make it easy on my mom, but she made plans to make a whole other meal anyway only  hours after my dinner?  I'm wondering if he was pissed because he expected me to make dinner for my brother and his family?

Quoting nerdymom28:

 You were not in the wrong. They were - for making last minute plans and just expecting you to accomdate them. They have no right to be mad.


la-cosa-nostra
by Gold Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry, I don't think they have any right to be mad, they are being ridiculous. 

nerdymom28
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 If he did expect you to make dinner for everyone, he should have told you. I find it ridiculous that a grown man would be that angry at his child over something like this - I mean...you're not a damn mind reader. How could you have known what he wanted if he didn't ask? He's acting very immature if you ask me.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you.  It's just really hurtful since I"m the one that's always there for ER runs, helping to get holiday's togethter, doing yard work, etc.  My dad wouldn't look at me, wouldn't answer me, nothing.  And my brother just acts like it's all normal.  The reason I did everthning was to make it easy on my mom, but she made plans to make a whole other meal anyway only  hours after my dinner?  I'm wondering if he was pissed because he expected me to make dinner for my brother and his family?

Quoting nerdymom28:

 You were not in the wrong. They were - for making last minute plans and just expecting you to accomdate them. They have no right to be mad.

 

 

Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 1:00 PM
Your dad sounds like a selfish asshole. I can see where your brother gets it from.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 1:02 PM
Why do you even care if your dad's pissed at you? If he wants to throw a temper tantrum like a three-year-old let him. I have a feeling that you allow yourself to get treated like crap by your parents quite often.

Quoting Anonymous:

And, wouldn't it have made more sense to have everyone together?  And ony 2 hours apart for a holiday meal?  I just don't know what more I can say to get my dad to stop being pissed at me.  

Quoting aurorarosepsych:

Yeah I do think you were in the right because if she wanted them to come spur of the moment she should have been the one to make sure they were fed.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Yeah, I get taken advantage of often.  I've never seen this side of my dad against me, but I'm guessing because I usually do what they want.

Quoting Miller0305: Why do you even care if your dad's pissed at you? If he wants to throw a temper tantrum like a three-year-old let him. I have a feeling that you allow yourself to get treated like crap by your parents quite often.
Quoting Anonymous:

And, wouldn't it have made more sense to have everyone together?  And ony 2 hours apart for a holiday meal?  I just don't know what more I can say to get my dad to stop being pissed at me.  

Quoting aurorarosepsych:

Yeah I do think you were in the right because if she wanted them to come spur of the moment she should have been the one to make sure they were fed.



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