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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

*potential trigger* Rape fantasy...?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

Not even sure how to approach this topic, because I know someone will get offended any way I go at it.

I have this fantasy of my SO forcing me to have sex. Being forceful, out of control, just taking me in every way. I can't explain why. I've never experienced sexual assault of any kind, I've never had this desire in other relationships. In fact, I've always been completely in control of everything in past relationships. My SO is the only one I've ever been on equal footing with, the only one I've trusted enough to let go of my control with.

And I guess this is just an extension of that. We've done some pretty wild things, I know he'd never take it further than I was truly okay with, we have safewords and understand each other. I trust him completely, maybe that's why the fantasy keeps occurring to me.

It feels so depraved and fundamentally wrong, but right at the same time. I just don't know how to even ask for it. Has anyone ever ventured into these waters before? Did you ask? How did your partner respond?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:44 AM

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:47 AM
My DH has that fantasy. He told me it was a weird dream that he had I think to test the waters and then things evolved from there. I enjoy it as well, I feel like I could have written your OP.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:51 AM

Do you want to be forced, or just highly dominated?

booaura
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:52 AM
Rape fantasies are very normal. Just talk to him about it in a calm, relaxed setting, explain what you want. Listen to his response and really hear what he is saying. If he's shocked, give him some time to absorb it.
Bonnie_
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:53 AM

I  have  never  done this....   I'm  sure a lot   have...  maybe  not  'a lot' lot  but... whatever.  The  only  reason  I wouldn't  is  because  of the potential  for things to go  horribly  wrong.   I  mean  you  never  know when  it  will trigger something  mental  in  a person  to the point  that  things   could  move  beyond their  control  or  towards  criminal behavior.  Your SO  would  have to  be very I don't  know if mature  is the right word.  But  say   a few  months  later  down the road  yall break  up  then  he starts  telling  everyone  that  you  have this kinky  side.  Or  if   one  night  he actually  does  rape  you  when you  DON'T  want  to have  sex.     It would  be very  hard to  prove  he did anything  wrong  if  you  allowed the behavior  in the past.   Sorry... to me  it  just  seems like a Pandora's box.

want10more
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:55 AM

i AM a rape survivor, so that sort of thing has not appealed to me ever. but it would knock your hat off how many times women LOVE that scenario! it comes from a place that they were always nice girls. not necessarily proper just not total sluts. to lose total control? to HAVE to submit? w/ no responsibility? is very hawt for lots of people. and see? the reason you want to do these things w/ your so now? is cuz you feel so very trusting and comfy w/ him, and you already know safe words, etc. let me tell you, i'm a very strong Christian. and STILL i don't find you wrong, or depraved in ANY SORT OF WAY. you are looking for more enjoyment w/ your hubby! hell to the yeah! if you really do trust him ( and it sounds as if you really do) then say: holy hell baby......... i have this fantasy. i want to be in my bed (our bed) in a virginal nightgown. i want you to bust in the front door and threaten me, and TELL me all the dirty things you wanna do to me. i want to feel helpless against your powerful man-ness. and i want to just be too weak to tell you no. (unless i say the safe word) it's NOT depraved. it's NOT fundamentally wrong! (as a rape survivor again, that'd not be comfy for me. but for others? WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:57 AM

I was assualted as a child and it makes me feel really guilty to have rape fantasies.. 

Makes me feel like I must have wanted it or enjoyed it (which I didnt)

But rape fantasies are very common in a lot of people. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 22, 2014 at 4:58 AM

We have 5 years of an extremely intense friendship behind us, we've been to hell and back, and now a year of our relationshio and marriage. We're not breaking up and I trust him more than I've ever trusted another person; he'd never hurt me for real. I've safeworded out before, he has too. As for telling anyone else, well, he knows my kinky side as well as I know his.

Nobody just becomes a rapist one night because rough sex and a consensual fantasy.

Quoting Bonnie_:

I  have  never  done this....   I'm  sure a lot   have...  maybe  not  'a lot' lot  but... whatever.  The  only  reason  I wouldn't  is  because  of the potential  for things to go  horribly  wrong.   I  mean  you  never  know when  it  will trigger something  mental  in  a person  to the point  that  things   could  move  beyond their  control  or  towards  criminal behavior.  Your SO  would  have to  be very I don't  know if mature  is the right word.  But  say   a few  months  later  down the road  yall break  up  then  he starts  telling  everyone  that  you  have this kinky  side.  Or  if   one  night  he actually  does  rape  you  when you  DON'T  want  to have  sex.     It would  be very  hard to  prove  he did anything  wrong  if  you  allowed the behavior  in the past.   Sorry... to me  it  just  seems like a Pandora's box.


Bonnie_
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 5:11 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

We have 5 years of an extremely intense friendship behind us, we've been to hell and back, and now a year of our relationshio and marriage. We're not breaking up and I trust him more than I've ever trusted another person; he'd never hurt me for real. I've safeworded out before, he has too. As for telling anyone else, well, he knows my kinky side as well as I know his.

Nobody just becomes a rapist one night because rough sex and a consensual fantasy.

Quoting Bonnie_:

I  have  never  done this....   I'm  sure a lot   have...  maybe  not  'a lot' lot  but... whatever.  The  only  reason  I wouldn't  is  because  of the potential  for things to go  horribly  wrong.   I  mean  you  never  know when  it  will trigger something  mental  in  a person  to the point  that  things   could  move  beyond their  control  or  towards  criminal behavior.  Your SO  would  have to  be very I don't  know if mature  is the right word.  But  say   a few  months  later  down the road  yall break  up  then  he starts  telling  everyone  that  you  have this kinky  side.  Or  if   one  night  he actually  does  rape  you  when you  DON'T  want  to have  sex.     It would  be very  hard to  prove  he did anything  wrong  if  you  allowed the behavior  in the past.   Sorry... to me  it  just  seems like a Pandora's box.

OK    You've  been to  hell and back...    you  have a long  tight relationship....    you  have  your  safe  word.      So what's the problem?   If  everything  is as  you  say  to the  point  you  have already  used 'safe words'    what are you  getting at?   If  everything is  so great  why  can't  you  just ask him?


haleysherman
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:48 AM
Fantasy of rape is completely different from actual rape. You shouldn't feel bad or depraved for whatever turns you on, people have all kinds of fetishes....some a lot stranger than that in my opinion. I think it's more common than you think. Not my bag but fantasizing hurts no one.
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