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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I feel trapped

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:43 PM
  • 45 Replies

In my own home. I need out so bad. I need out of the house without the kids, and without DF. I need a girl friend...

I have two girls that are kind of friends. Their SOs work with my DF so they come here and we fix dinner blah blah...the one girl, we'll call her Sarah, is 21 and just...I don't want to say dumb but she has 0 life experiance. Her SO is 28, they both dropped out of college last month so they could move three hrs away back with HER parents, who are rich, because...ya know. Life is hard. Anyway, they leave in May. I've known her for a year and I've really tried reaching out. She's they type if you say "let's go for a drink sometime. Hey want to try that new class at the gym? Are there any movies out you want to see?" She'll get excited and say "yes yes that'd be great!" And then I never hear from her....we get along great I think. We're always laughing and being silly :-/ but...I've never been able to keep girls as friends very well

The second, we'll say Lauren, is totally more my speed. I think she's very serious when she says she wants to get together, but we've just started getting close over the past month. We had planned to go take a class at her gym yesterday but she was sick. She works as an independent sales consultant for Philip Morris, so we thought we'd try today but she had too much work to catch up on. Not her fault, I'm not upset at her at all - but we had planned this last week and I was SO excited to finally be out of the house...but I'm stuck here. It's so sad that I was this excited to take a step class, really. I've become a SAHM and plan to stay that way for at least another year or two when prices go down on daycare (infant daycare blows). My DF is absolutely willing to take me out, and we've gone a few times since 9mo dd was born but with no friends...we have no sitters either. We've talked about hiring someone from one of those baby sitter sites but it scares me a bit.

Honestly when she called and had to cancel, I cried...a lot. I've tried so hard to make friends and I really do think when Lauren and I get the chance we'll be great friends. I just needed out this week. I've texted Sarah asking if she'd want to go dancing Saturday but the text has been ignored for two days. I take my girls to the park and try to strike up conversations with other moms and get the polite starter conversation and nothing else. I go to all my 6yr olds school stuff and try to make friends but again...nothing. I think part of the issue is where I'm located. Lexington is very affluent, people my age (26)are either still in college or just getting their career established. The moms I'm around most of the time, like all of my 6yr old classmates, are over 10 yrs older than me. My DF has offered for me to go out and do something today...mall, movie, gym, whatever...but I just need a friend. Someone that isn't him that I can tell all my girly shit to and just have. 

Im sorry I have to come on here and be emotional. I don't have another outlet right now and I just feel so...not worth anyone's time

*end pity party*

by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:49 PM
I'm so sorry about your friend canceling on you. Have you tried going out on your own for a few hours or buying something for yourself?
Short_cake88
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:52 PM

I haven't lately as much. I've started tanning the past few weeks but really that buys me 45 minutes if that lol but it helps my depression a bit from the vitamin D. I'll go walk the mall or find a pretty dress...or shoes is my total weakness...but then I'm all by myself. Right now DF took both girls to my 6yr old tball game so I'm in the bath with wine, which is a stress reliever and I love...I'm just longing for a girlfriend. I have twin nieces my age back home who are my best friends and I just miss it. Kwim? But I am totally thankful for the Alone time too lol

Quoting Anonymous: I'm so sorry about your friend canceling on you. Have you tried going out on your own for a few hours or buying something for yourself?


lalalamama
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:52 PM
I feel for you, I really do. My advice to you is get out there and do what you're interested in! Don't wait for other people to join you because you'll wait forever.........
I joined a Masters Swim club because that's "my thing". I also took music lessons. DH would watch the kids a couple of evenings a week and it was my sanity break !!!!!
Bonus was that I met people who were into "my thing!"
Short_cake88
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:55 PM

I wish I knew what my thing was...and I know that's part of my problem. I don't have a hobby...I went through a huge huge life change right before I found out I was pregnant (with my now 9 month old) and even though I'm happier and healthier...I still haven't figured out completely who I am.ive seen groupon deals on Zumba classes, belly dancing classes ECT and I need to man up and buy it and go....because I LOVE that stuff, but instead I buy the DVDs and do it at home....alone...lol

Quoting lalalamama: I feel for you, I really do. My advice to you is get out there and do what you're interested in! Don't wait for other people to join you because you'll wait forever......... I joined a Masters Swim club because that's "my thing". I also took music lessons. DH would watch the kids a couple of evenings a week and it was my sanity break !!!!! Bonus was that I met people who were into "my thing!"


elfling811
by Niki on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:57 PM
I know how that feels. We have only lived here a couple of years and most of the parents of DDs classmates have known each other since childhood. I walk to the beat of a different drummer, so my attempts to get to know other moms get ignored, too. Too bad we don't live closer. I am quite a bit older than you, but I would be your friend :-)
Zengirl79
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:58 PM

Try joining a mommy group.  Then suggest a girls night out. 

Short_cake88
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:59 PM

When I lived in Indiana I joined a Martini Lovers group that met every two weeks and everyone was 10-15+ yrs older than me. That definitely doesn't bother me! Haha :-) Different is only bad when you don't have anyone to be different with. Where are you from??

Quoting elfling811: I know how that feels. We have only lived here a couple of years and most of the parents of DDs classmates have known each other since childhood. I walk to the beat of a different drummer, so my attempts to get to know other moms get ignored, too. Too bad we don't live closer. I am quite a bit older than you, but I would be your friend :-)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:00 PM

You are young here where I live also.Most of us have grad degrees so no babies till later.I was young when my oldest started K and I was 33.If possible find a volunteer job at school on a regular schedule with other moms.I was a library mom ,we would re shelve and read to the kids sometimes.Led to chatting and so on.It took a few months.Or look for a committee to be on that has several members...did that also.These things helped me make friends from my neighborhood.I had friends all over town but I was looking for local daily type.

Good Luck !

P.S. certified sitter sites .My daughter and several friends were employed by one in the town she went to college in ,she mostly sat on Sun afternoons .Parents hit brunch and movies.My daughter is a B.S.N. so she and her friends were all nursing students.The site ran a very thorough back ground check on her ,got our names too  and she had to have recommendations that they did check out.Call the place and ask what they do to check them out ,training and are they bonded.

Short_cake88
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:01 PM

I looked for one at the beginning of DDs school year without much luck, then holidays hit so I was traveling but yea...I need to find something. I did try the cafemom group here and had very little luck there as well. Kentucky is hit or miss ;-)

Thank you for reminding me to check that out again

Quoting Zengirl79:

Try joining a mommy group.  Then suggest a girls night out. 


olliesmommy2
by Metal Awareness on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:02 PM
Yeah, my exciting time to myself is a rare solo grocery shop or walk around the neighborhood. I just can't seem to get together with anyone. Everyone is busy or just flaky. Good thing I like spending a lot of time with my son, the dog, and my husband! Not that I wouldn't love a girls night or yoga class. Something relaxing and without my dudes.
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