My daughter won't take her sister to her activities anymore :(
She's in competitive dance and cheerleading. She has practice from 4-6 every day, and when I started work I knew I wouldn't be able to take her. I asked my older daughter and she stepped up, which I appreciate so much since she lives with her friends going to college 40 minutes away. We live rurally so it's a big hassle to get rides.
My ydd is hitting puberty and has an attitude, as is to be expected, although we obviously don't tolerate it. However, with the girls spending so much time together, my odd has had trouble dealing with it and they've bickered. Yesterday, after practice, and odd greeted me at the house and said "I'm not taking that little b-tch anywhere again, you're on your own" and stormed out.
Apparently, after dance, my ydd wanted to stay back with two of her friends and get food with them. She asked my odd and she said no, she needed to go home since she had plans with her boyfriend. She said my ydd then blew up at her about how she doesn't care about her, that she's so awful she can't believe she has a boyfriend or any friends, that she's never liked her and was happy she moved out. Basically, in a rage, and saying the most hurtful things possible. My odd said she grabbed her arm, dragged her to the car, drove home in silence and sat in the living room for me.
My ydd is now hysterical with worry since she texted her sister apologizing and asking if she'd see her tomorrow, and her sister texted back "over my dead body, find your own way there. I'm not bending over backwards for an ungrateful snot like you" and hasn't answered her calls. I've had to calm her down from two anxiety attacks, as this disruption in her routine is enough to set her off, let alone her older sister being so angry at her. My daughter won't take my calls either, and sent me a text that just said "don't bother, not happening again" when she sent me to voicemail.
I'm beside myself with worry right now. My daughter is grounded for what she said to her sister, but I can't imagine having to pull her out of her lifelong hobby over this and what that willl do to her when everything is already so bad. I'm honestly scared to even leave her home alone after school tomorrow with how upset she is now, but I can't call in sick to work.
Please, mamas, help. I'm lost and have no idea what to so here.
Update: she hasn't been able to find a reliable ride and is one practice away from being kicked out of the team/studio. She's devastated and is having daily panic attacks and is hysterical about this. I get home when she hasn't been to practice and she's just sitting there crying- dance before kept her in a routine where she did her homework as soon as she walked in from practice.
My older Dd won't budge, I've tried begging and pleading but she just says "no". My younger daughter has apologized and begged and she tells her that she have thought of that before being so rude.
I'm at an absolute loss.