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Would you stay with your SO if they lied about having cancer?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:20 AM
  • 45 Replies
My fiancé has a friend who's wife did just that.

She had 2 older children from a previous relationship and then she and her husband had 2.

She claimed to have brain cancer and was dying so a lawyer friend of her mothers took pity on her and helped her husband adopt her two older children for free, she was after all dying and she needed someone to take care of her older two after she died.

She kept up the cancer lie for several years and went as far as to shave her head.

She told everyone she only had 6 months to live so everyone was preparing for her death. Funny enough I remember thinking something was off about her story and when the 6 months came around and she didn't die I started wondering a bit more but since she was basically a friend of a friend I didn't give her much thought.

There are red flags her husband should have seen but would you ever suspect your spouse of lying about that? She never wanted anyone to go with her to chemo or doctors appointments and since her husband was working a minimum wage job he really couldn't take off work to go with her.

Her oldest child from her previous relationship is bipolar and he threatened to kill himself so CPS became involved. They wanted information from the doctors about her cancer and she even faked those but CPS actually did check up on her and found out that the letters were faked and the doctors had never seen her. When they found that out they told her she could have no contact with the children until further notice.

It's now been about 18 months since that happened and in that time frame her poor husband had a heart attack and almost died, and ended up losing both legs. There was a time that he contemplated divorcing her but I believe because of the heart attack and him losing his legs he decided to stay.

I'm not sure but I assume she's in counseling and I imagine CPS is still a part of their lives.

As far as I know the lawyer that handled the adoption either doesn't know or has decided not to sue her.


So if you found out your SO kept up a big lie like that for years would you stay with them or leave them?
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by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:25 AM
Bump
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Jblb
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:25 AM
Uh I would first put my SO into a mental institution and then file for divorce! My cousin called out a co worker (same lie) after they raised thousands of dollars for her! Ppl are sick!
Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:28 AM
They truly are sick. When I first heard about what she did I was appalled and disgusted but the more I thought about it the more I realized she truly is sick in the head. I don't think I could stay with my fiancé if he did that though, I may see him through a stint in a mental hospital but that would probably be it for us.

Quoting Jblb: Uh I would first put my SO into a mental institution and then file for divorce! My cousin called out a co worker (same lie) after they raised thousands of dollars for her! Ppl are sick!
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Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:29 AM
Holy smokes. DH has dealt with my mental health issues, then as of last year my crazy physical health issues. He's been a saint. I couldn't imagine FAKING it. That would be beyond cruel and no, I wouldn't expect him to stay with me if I pulled some shit like that.
MrsApple
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:33 AM

No BUT...how could she get away with a lie like that for that long?Didn't her spouse try to go to dr appts with her???

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:33 AM
I explained that in my op...

Quoting MrsApple:

No BUT...how could she get away with a lie like that for that long?Didn't her spouse try to go to dr appts with her???

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:45 AM
I would leave in a heart beat!

Although honestly the 6 months thing. After dealing with my father in law who was given only 3 to 9 months to live, due to cancer, I wouldn't question her living longer than that. My father in law lived for almost four years after being told 3 to 9 months but closer to the 3 to 6.
MrsApple
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:45 AM

I somehow over looked that!

But still.I can't imagine that during that whole time he didn't try to make it to an appt or treatment and even if,like you said, she didn't want him to be there...my husband would have been said,"I don't care,I'm going anyways!".Just odd that someone could get away with a lie like that for that long.Did she have the most unspportive people in her life or something?

Quoting Roxygurl: I explained that in my op...
Quoting MrsApple:

No BUT...how could she get away with a lie like that for that long?Didn't her spouse try to go to dr appts with her???


mommyof11050307
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:48 AM
Something like the just happened but she used her kid instead of her. She's facing prison time for it
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elfling811
by Niki on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:48 AM
2 moms liked this
As a three time cancer survivor, even though we have been married almost 20 years I would probably never speak to him again. People who lie about having cancer sicken me. I would never be able to look at his face or speak to him ever again.
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