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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

BM wants my admission tickets...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: how should the tickets be handled? please read the whole post before voting because it explains where these tickets came from and that BM might just waste them if she gets her hands on them!

Options:

us keep all of them and continue letting the kids take friends when the stepkids can't go

give bm 4 of them, even though we need 6 when we don't have the stepkids

only give bm 2 of them, covering the stepkids


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1556

View Results

I want to make it crystal clear from the start, BM does NOT allow even one minute more than the court order allows.  DH has his kids every other weekend from Friday 4pm to Sunday 4pm.  Wednesday 4pm-8pm.  Holidays are set in the court order with specific times.  He gets two weeks in the summer, the same two weeks every single year.  He can only take the out of state during his two weeks in the summer.   

BM does not allow him to call and talk to them because it isn't in the court order and the judge said that was a "petty request on DH's part" so he didn't order the phone calls.  

He pays his child support faithfully, never missed a payment and pays all other expenses according to the court order.

Now that this is clear that BM only allows in what is in the court order, I am SICK of being told I shouldn't do things with my kids when the stepkids aren't here.  My sister in law works for a promotions company.  She scores free tickets to things quite often.  I can't control the dates that they fall on.  They are usually only valid a certain weekend.  She makes sure that I have enough to take the stepkids, every single time, but BM refuses to allow us to take them on *her* weekend, yet screams and rants and raves when we do anything without the stepkids.  She has found out that we have been using the tickets and going without the stepkids.    

We have asked each and every time we got tickets if she would allow us an extra weekend or to switch weekends and each time she has cussed DH out reminding him that he has a set weekend and to stop making plans for HER kids on HER weekend.  I guess she thought if she was saying no, we weren't using the tickets at all.  

Now that she has found out, she has called DH 10 times today (no exaggeration) to scream at him for not taking HER children.  If the tickets are only valid on certain dates, they're only valid on certain dates and we CANNOT change that.  So she is now demanding that every time MY sister in law (married to MY brother!) gives me tickets to something, we need to give her half (4) of them so she can take the stepkids if it falls on her weekend.  NO.  I get 8 tickets.  We need 6 just for the people that live here.  When the stepkids can't go, I let my older two kids take a friend each.  

DH is now wondering if we should at least let her have the two tickets since they were given to us for them.  I say no, my sister in law gives me tickets.  They're mine to use as I see fit and they are NOT BM's to demand.  And her giving me 8 tickets is NOT just because that is how many we need, she has always given me 6-10 tickets to take friends before I ever got married or had kids.  

What do you all think?  Oh, and I am going to add that most likely BM would NOT take the stepkids, especially when it is for things like Monster Trucks, MotoCross, races, etc.  Those are "redneck" and beneath her (she makes fun of us on facebook when she knows we have taken the kids to those things) so those tickets would go to waste.  She hates the waterpark (we get tickets there every month or two) so she probably wouldn't use those either.  The only ones she would use are maybe concert tickets. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 26, 2014 at 5:45 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:04 PM
2 moms liked this
Don't give them to her. It's not in the court order she's so bent on keeping. I wouldn't even tell her you get free tickets anymore. It's none of her business.

Since she's so hell bent of sticking to the schedule, let her buy tickets to things that fall on her weekend with her money. Sorry for her but unfortunately life doesn't just stop when you don't have your step kids. Your allowed to still do as you wish as a family. I'm sure she doesn't run it by your DH everytime she takes HER children anywhere free or not.
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LectioDivina
by on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:04 PM
She's just trying to hold something over you. And get tickets lol .
krusesbaby
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:04 PM
This

Quoting B1Bomber:

Keep the tickets. Continue to offer to take your stepkids each time. Let her be the bad guy, even if they don't know about it.

SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:05 PM
Your brother and sil are not part of dh and bm kids period
Keep them for yourself

""DH is now wondering if we should at least let her have the two tickets since they were given to us for them.""

Hell to the effin NO!!!
Tell her to find someone else to get tickets from otherwise tell her to pay for yours
The nerve of her to even think she should get any of those tickets
That entitlment stick up her ass needs to be removed
almburr
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:05 PM
Why would a judge not allow a father to call his kids?

Does she get to talk to the kids when they are on DHs time?

The tickets are from your sister and given to you. You keep them and keep asking if steps can go.
Krysta622
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Ita! Just say no, it's not in the court order. Let her taste her own medicine.

Quoting sdsstargazer: I would tell BM that I'm sorry but there is nothing in the court order stating that you have to give her the extra tickets. Too bad, so sad. It does suck for the kids, but at least they get to go when you do have them. I'd also only start corresponding with her via email/text or record conversations that way you have a paper trail should she become belligerent or threatening. That way you can have proof for the courts should DH ever decide to contest for 50/50 or full custody.
SleuthMaria
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:07 PM
4 moms liked this

I think you should keep the tickets & allow your kids to bring a friend. IF you want to be nice, I'd give her TWO tickets, one for each of your stepchildren, but that's it.

Personally, I'd keep all the tickets, take the stepkids when they're with you & allow your kids to bring friends when they aren't & STOP asking to take the stepkids when it's HER weekend. The reason I'd stop is b/c asking just gets her mad & she's made it perfectly clear she won't trade weekends, or even just allow you to pick them up & take them to whatever event. Actually, I'd first, ask the next time I got tickets if she'd like to bring the kids to the event, meet us as the door & we'd watch the kids during the event & return them to her at the door when it's over. That way, you're giving one last option to allow the kids to go before giving up. Maybe even offer to give up a Wed night in exchage for the time at the event?

Under NO circumstances would I give her half the tickets or stop using them if the stepkids aren't with you. Neither you nor your sister have any obligation to her, free tickets or no, to provide for HER admittance into anywhere. Oh, & who would use the fourth ticket if you gave her half of them? No, it doesn't matter, I'm just curious why she feels entitled to half the tickets & what she'd do with the fourth one if she did get half of them.  

pinkysmommy720
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:07 PM
2 moms liked this
Tell her it isn't in the court order that you have to share...lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:08 PM
"As always the kids are welcome to come with us, but we will not be handing tickets over to you."
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Apr. 26, 2014 at 6:08 PM

Lol! Amen to that! If I hadn't met a man with no baggage I would have preferred to be a spinster cat lady for the rest of my life. My mother married a man with 2 children and it was a disaster. They were together for 4 years before we left. Lol, my mother has been single ever since. 

That said op, your dh's ex sounds like a crazy control freak. I hope it all works out, that shit is stressful for the kids involved. I shudder to think what she's saying to your step-children.

Quoting Anonymous:

WOW!! Yeah--this is so why I chose to marry someone who did not come with one ounce of 'baggage!' No ex-wife, and he has no clue where his ex-girlfriend is so yeah--absolutely zero drama in our life!! I really don't know what to say OP! Good luck working thru this big mess!


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