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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He doesn't want our son anymore...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies
My Exh and I separated when our DS was only a year old. He's 8 now. Exh saw DS a lot and we had quite the battle for custody. Then things called down. We learned to get along for our son at least somewhat. He had another child (another son) with another woman and all was well with the world.

Him and the other woman broke up and he came unglued. I knew he had some mental health issues that affected our marriage and his parenting but I had mostly felt safe with DS with exh's gf so that was helpful. He ended up being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and started taking meds. He became a pretty good dad.

Then he stopped taking the meds. He met a new girl just out of high school (he's 31). His life has been spiraling ever since. Every time he takes my DS (which is now thankfully rare) I worry constantly. Our court order states that he has EOWE and Wednesday nights for dinner so he could take him a lot more if he chose.

This past week I got a text from him saying he wants to give up all rights to both of his children in exchange for me and the other mom waiving all past and future child support.

My heart is broken for my DS who does love his father, and yet I know this is the right thing... But it hurts. It's going to hurt so much more when DS knows what is happening.

I had to get it off my chest... I can't talk to anyone about it because DS is always around. I'm meeting with my attorney tomorrow (with the other mom) to start the process. I can't believe I chose such a horrible person to father my son.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MilkLover0203
by Platinum Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this
What I would give for my sons birth mother to walk away. I'm sorry for your son though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:42 AM
It is so sad. And I've said the same probably a thousand times... But now that it's really happening my heart aches for my son so much.

Quoting MilkLover0203: What I would give for my sons birth mother to walk away. I'm sorry for your son though.
owl0210
by Emerald Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:42 AM
5 moms liked this
Tough shit for him. He can't just relinquish his rights and stop paying child support. Asshole.
Halfdeafmommy
by Pure Honesty on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:42 AM

What a terrible sistuation, my heart breaks for your son.

MilkLover0203
by Platinum Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:44 AM
Mine is only five, and not very cognitive, but I can imagine at eight it would be much harder to swallow.

Quoting Anonymous: It is so sad. And I've said the same probably a thousand times... But now that it's really happening my heart aches for my son so much.

Quoting MilkLover0203: What I would give for my sons birth mother to walk away. I'm sorry for your son though.
grey7399
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:45 AM

What a douche!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:45 AM
2 moms liked this
You're right... It's not allowed in our state unless I had a DH who wanted to adopt (I'm single).... But what we can do is have him sign over all custody and waive his right to visitation in exchange for no support. I would never agree except that DS's safety is more important than any amount of money and I'm lucky enough to be stable enough to financially raise him on my own. So that's the plan... Assuming he agrees to every one of my stipulations.

Quoting owl0210: Tough shit for him. He can't just relinquish his rights and stop paying child support. Asshole.
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this
See if you can get him to sign away rights but don't agree to end child support. It's your son's money, not yours. You don't have the right to sign that away. If you don't want to use it, put it in an account for your son's college or whatever. Do not agree to release this man from his obligation because he doesn't want it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:45 AM
My ex husband has BPD...run honey. My ex refused treatment and in 10+ years its only gotten worse.
lillettemomma
by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 11:45 AM
Unless someone is willing to adopt ur son he can't relinquish his rights and he will still be on the hook for child support
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