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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why am i wrong 4 not wanting to raise an autistic kid?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Im putting dd up for adoption, she was just diagnosed, i knew something was wrong with her. She has violent outbursts, claws at her face and pulls out her hair, punches, spits, throws anything she can get her hands on,attacks our dogs, and her siblings.
This is just the tip of the iiceberg and its too much for me to handle. I always thought it was a faze, she would grow out of it, spankings would help, time out would help. But nope. My worst fear has been realized and SO and i both agree we cant handle it. I have normal children, and my sanity to think about.
I dont know much about autism. My.mom thinks shes more likely to end up a criminal with her behavior, but according to her doctor, she'll more than likely need someone to care for her her entire life, so thats ridiculous. My MIL is livid. she thinks we should keep her but i just CAN NOT DO IT ANYMORE. we cant go out to eat, to the store, we can barely sit home without her screaming and groaning and hurting someone.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 30, 2014 at 1:14 AM
Replies (1031-1040):
5kidsILove
by on May. 1, 2014 at 4:17 PM
If that option is even on the table every child she had should be taken away by child services!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?! Your answer is hey at least she didn't lock the child in a closet and beat her with a hammer?!

Quoting deedee9119: So you would rather hare he mom beat the shit out of her? Wonderful parent YOU are.

Quoting Anonymous: Giving the child up for adoption, does not mean she is going to go out and find a home for her daughter. Placing her for adoption is giving her up to the state. She's going to sign papers to give the state the chance to find her a home. Which means she will be placed in Foster homes. Come on let's get real here, the odds of this child getting adopted are slim to none. Most people only adopt perfect babies. This child will become another
statistic. It's sad, but this is the harsh reality of what WILL happen if she places her up for adoption.

Quoting deedee9119: She said ADOPTION not giving her up to the state. So someone who wants a little girl and knows about her condition can love her and take care of her? I think it is smart for the mother to giver her up if she can't take care of her the way she needs. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there more capable of taking care of that little girl. At least this mother REALIZED it!

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah really smart of her. (sarcasm ) so her child never gets the help she needs and is bounced from foster home to foster home for years. Possibly abused, and never loved. Just to be abandoned again at 18 when the state won't support her anymore. Really responsible parent.

Quoting deedee9119: I'm sorry for the hate you got on this post. But it was very responsible for you to realize what you couldn't handle and give her to someone who can.
deedee9119
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:20 PM
You know. I'm tired of fighting with people on here. I made my comment to the op. Sorry if you have a stick up your assistance and can't see things from others point of view. I honestly don't agree with her giving her daughter up but if she can't or won't take care of her then it's best that she doesn't have her and I'm glad she realized that even if she's a bad mother. So I'm done fighting now.

Quoting Anonymous: That doesn't mean anyone will adopt her.

Quoting deedee9119: That's not true. She can go through an agency.

Quoting Anonymous: It's not like placing an add for a puppy on craigslist. LoL seriously. She's will sign her daughter over to the state and they will place her in foster home after foster home, the chances of her being adopted are slim.

Quoting deedee9119: She said ADOPTION not giving her up to the state. So someone who wants a little girl and knows about her condition can love her and take care of her? I think it is smart for the mother to giver her up if she can't take care of her the way she needs. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there more capable of taking care of that little girl. At least this mother REALIZED it!

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah really smart of her. (sarcasm ) so her child never gets the help she needs and is bounced from foster home to foster home for years. Possibly abused, and never loved. Just to be abandoned again at 18 when the state won't support her anymore. Really responsible parent.

Quoting deedee9119: I'm sorry for the hate you got on this post. But it was very responsible for you to realize what you couldn't handle and give her to someone who can.
deedee9119
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:23 PM
You know. I'm tired of fighting with people on here. I made my comment to the op. Sorry if you have a stick up your assistance and can't see things from others point of view. I honestly don't agree with her giving her daughter up but if she can't or won't take care of her then it's best that she doesn't have her and I'm glad she realized that even if she's a bad mother. So I'm done fighting now.

Quoting 5kidsILove: If that option is even on the table every child she had should be taken away by child services!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?! Your answer is hey at least she didn't lock the child in a closet and beat her with a hammer?!

Quoting deedee9119: So you would rather hare he mom beat the shit out of her? Wonderful parent YOU are.

Quoting Anonymous: Giving the child up for adoption, does not mean she is going to go out and find a home for her daughter. Placing her for adoption is giving her up to the state. She's going to sign papers to give the state the chance to find her a home. Which means she will be placed in Foster homes. Come on let's get real here, the odds of this child getting adopted are slim to none. Most people only adopt perfect babies. This child will become another
statistic. It's sad, but this is the harsh reality of what WILL happen if she places her up for adoption.

Quoting deedee9119: She said ADOPTION not giving her up to the state. So someone who wants a little girl and knows about her condition can love her and take care of her? I think it is smart for the mother to giver her up if she can't take care of her the way she needs. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there more capable of taking care of that little girl. At least this mother REALIZED it!

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah really smart of her. (sarcasm ) so her child never gets the help she needs and is bounced from foster home to foster home for years. Possibly abused, and never loved. Just to be abandoned again at 18 when the state won't support her anymore. Really responsible parent.

Quoting deedee9119: I'm sorry for the hate you got on this post. But it was very responsible for you to realize what you couldn't handle and give her to someone who can.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 1, 2014 at 4:24 PM
It's not fighting, I'm stating the obvious.

Quoting deedee9119: You know. I'm tired of fighting with people on here. I made my comment to the op. Sorry if you have a stick up your assistance and can't see things from others point of view. I honestly don't agree with her giving her daughter up but if she can't or won't take care of her then it's best that she doesn't have her and I'm glad she realized that even if she's a bad mother. So I'm done fighting now.

Quoting Anonymous: That doesn't mean anyone will adopt her.

Quoting deedee9119: That's not true. She can go through an agency.

Quoting Anonymous: It's not like placing an add for a puppy on craigslist. LoL seriously. She's will sign her daughter over to the state and they will place her in foster home after foster home, the chances of her being adopted are slim.

Quoting deedee9119: She said ADOPTION not giving her up to the state. So someone who wants a little girl and knows about her condition can love her and take care of her? I think it is smart for the mother to giver her up if she can't take care of her the way she needs. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there more capable of taking care of that little girl. At least this mother REALIZED it!

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah really smart of her. (sarcasm ) so her child never gets the help she needs and is bounced from foster home to foster home for years. Possibly abused, and never loved. Just to be abandoned again at 18 when the state won't support her anymore. Really responsible parent.

Quoting deedee9119: I'm sorry for the hate you got on this post. But it was very responsible for you to realize what you couldn't handle and give her to someone who can.
AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:36 PM
Ok, I have a fas ( fetal alcohol syndrome) kid in my class, he does all those things and more. I pitty his mother (even though she actually caused it). honestly, if that student was my child, I would have him institutionalized. I would want him to get help and I can't see ever giving away my child but I absolutely could never live with him. I might snap and abuse him if I had to be around him 24/7. At school, i can handle anything for 8 hours, ive had a handful of children during my 10 yrs teaching that are on his level of defiance/disrespect/ inability to learn. I would accept my limits and look into affordable mental facilities in my area. If you can't help her or stand to be around it, it better to accept it and let her go to somewhere that she can get more help. And FYI- American medical records are open during adoptions, if all those issues are documented, I don't think anyone would take her into their homes. Look more for hospitals where kids can live long term. People that bash you haven't ever spent long periods of time trying to help children who refuse to be reached. They don't know the daily heartbreak - don't worry about them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 1, 2014 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Yet you've come to this decision without learning about it? Yeah, she's better off without you.

Quoting Anonymous: 3. Group homes? Like an orphanage? Sorry if i sound stupid i know little to nothing about this

Quoting quickbooksworm:

How old is she?  There are group homes for children like this.  My cousin had to go live with one because she became a danger to her siblings.

mommymendenhall
by on May. 1, 2014 at 4:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I have many horrible things to say to you but I won't. I will say however I hope and pray for the three year old little girl who is suffering more than you. In all seriousness .....I'll take her .......my family(including myself) has worked with sn people for years and we love kids. Smh poor baby. I hope she will find someone to love her unconditionally like she deserves.
Chris030406
by anonsneednotreply on May. 1, 2014 at 4:52 PM
No judgement here. You're the mom. You do what you feel is best for her.
MetalMamaTo3
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I will take her. I have two special needs kids already. It is difficult and hard, but I can't imagine being without my kids. I can't understand your decision, but I'm sorry that it had reached this point for you.
fredsbride
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:57 PM
1 mom liked this
This is selfish in your part as far as not sacrificing yourself for your child to do whatever it takes to keep her first...but I'm glad in a way your willing to acknowledge your weakness, selfishness, I'm just not sure anything is better out there for her, you do understand this says a lot about you and your husband? Right.I won't claim to understand you because I don't have a child with problems like that.but I just cannot begin to entertain the thought of giving up on my child, when a mother is supposed to be the most loving and understanding to her child than anyone else..hope there'll be a praise report.
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