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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I hate myself - college decision day (long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 57 Replies
I was a young mom. I've always worked to support my kids. I'm certainly not wealthy, but we have always had a nice place to live and they have always had everything they needed and a little bit of what they wanted. Saving for college was something that I tried to do, but it just wasn't possible.

Tonight I have to have a conversation with my daughter and tell her that she can't go to the college of her dreams, to which she was accepted and even given a small academic scholarship. While the academic scholarship is there, my income is too great for her to get any federal help to cover the remaining cost of attendance. We would incur over $97k in loans by the time she finished her bachelor's degree and I just can't do that to her.

My heart is breaking. She is such a good kid. She deserves this.

Instead of living in a dorm and going to the college of her dreams, she is going to have to move out of my house and in with her sister so that she is no longer financially dependent on me and attend a community college for two years, while working.

I hate myself. That is my confession.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont understand this. My mom couldnt help me with college either, so I just declared myself independant and got finacial aid on my own.

Texor
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

I know it sucks, mama, but she will still get an education and she won't be burdened with loans she can't pay. 

You're giving her a gift in that respect. 

quinnsmom715
by Donna on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:13 PM

if college was what she wanted,she should have started working at 16 and saving and applying for scholarships..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Can't do that anymore. If you're 18, they are going to ask about your parent's income and calculate an expected contribution into the equation. 

Too much unpaid college debt carried by young people who can't get jobs and don't have assets.  They gotta secure that shit somehow 

Quoting thenameshailie:

I dont understand this. My mom couldnt help me with college either, so I just declared myself independant and got finacial aid on my own.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:18 PM

I work at a HS...do you have any idea how intense getting in to college IS these days? 

In order to get in a decent state school (University of Texas is a good example), you better be taking at least a few AP classes, have a resume of volunteer service and leadership roles a mile long, a 4.0 AT LEAST, incredibly high SAT scores....there is scarcely time for kids to do what's needed to graduate and simply get IN to college, much less get a job and save for it to boot. 

I watch this EVERY day. 

Quoting quinnsmom715:

if college was what she wanted,she should have started working at 16 and saving and applying for scholarships..


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:19 PM
She is a senior in high school and lives with me. They want my income.

Quoting thenameshailie:

I dont understand this. My mom couldnt help me with college either, so I just declared myself independant and got finacial aid on my own.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:25 PM
Thank you. I wasn't even going to entertain her.

It's funny that you use those examples. My daughter takes AP classes and is the captain of her extracurricular activity - that requires extremely long practices 11 months of the year. Seriously, she only gets about six weeks off in the summer. She did very well on her ACT and SAT scores and received an academic scholarship from Baylor.

I'm proud of her accomplishments and know that she could not have ever achieved any of those things while working to save for college. Nor should she have to.

Quoting Anonymous:

I work at a HS...do you have any idea how intense getting in to college IS these days? 

In order to get in a decent state school (University of Texas is a good example), you better be taking at least a few AP classes, have a resume of volunteer service and leadership roles a mile long, a 4.0 AT LEAST, incredibly high SAT scores....there is scarcely time for kids to do what's needed to graduate and simply get IN to college, much less get a job and save for it to boot. 

I watch this EVERY day. 

Quoting quinnsmom715:

if college was what she wanted,she should have started working at 16 and saving and applying for scholarships..

quinnsmom715
by Donna on Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:50 PM

my point was.if it something she wants,has she checked out all scholarships?are there any work/study programs..and she knows you are a single mom..what did she think was going to pay for college?

Quoting Anonymous:

I work at a HS...do you have any idea how intense getting in to college IS these days? 

In order to get in a decent state school (University of Texas is a good example), you better be taking at least a few AP classes, have a resume of volunteer service and leadership roles a mile long, a 4.0 AT LEAST, incredibly high SAT scores....there is scarcely time for kids to do what's needed to graduate and simply get IN to college, much less get a job and save for it to boot. 

I watch this EVERY day. 

Quoting quinnsmom715:

if college was what she wanted,she should have started working at 16 and saving and applying for scholarships..



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 30, 2014 at 8:13 PM
Thank you. I keep telling myself that.

Of course, she doesn't see it that way.

Quoting Texor:

I know it sucks, mama, but she will still get an education and she won't be burdened with loans she can't pay. 

You're giving her a gift in that respect. 

fullxbusymom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 8:16 PM

I don't understand she moves out gets loans and goes to the college she so chooses and pays off her loans upon graduation like any other adult!!

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