Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Final update: UPDATE: Update: My SIL just dropped her twins off at my house with a note

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 16 year old DD called me and said when she got home from school my brothers widow had dropped my niece and nephew off (they are 5) with a note that says she is too depressed and saddened by her husband (my brothers death) and that she cant be a mom right now. My dd said from what she gathered they had been there for a while and were crying. I rushed home from work. It also said that she is leaving and going overseas for a while. I am guessing she is going back to Italy because she is from Italy. I seriously am not sure what my next step is. I of course will care for them they are my late brothers children but I am scared if I call anyone they will get taken by the state and go into foster homes and they need to be with family. They just lost their dad in a military accident 8 months ago and now their mom abandons them. My cousin said to call CPS or at least the police. But I am not sure who to call. Any ideas? These poor babies. My husband said not to do anything until we talk to a lawyer and he gets home. He is flying in from Dallas where he was on business to help me with this. I don't know what to do. The kids wont stop crying and asking for their mom. All I can do is hold them and tell them it will be okay. How can a mom do this to their babies. I feel sad and do not even know what to tell them. I am hoping she comes to her senses.

Update:

Just wanted to let you guys know she wouldn't answer my calls or my texts but I just noticed when I looked on Facebook to see if she had posted anything recently that she posted 30 minutes ago.

"Taking off in 30 minutes, cannot wait to be home and start my life over."

Then underneath people are asking about her children and she is saying that my husband I asked her if we could adopt them and that we all agreed it would be better for the children if we adopted them and they stayed in the states.

People are calling her out calling her a bad mother and saying that she is stupid for doing that. I could go on there very easily and call her out and tell the truth but I think I will wait for my husband to get home and just copy and paste the whole damn thing.I wonder if she realizes i am on her page.

Sorry this doesnt sound like someone who has had a breakdown to me but maybe I am wrong.


Update2:  She called me during her layover. She said that she was sorry but that she knows she was never meant to be a mother. She only had children to make my brother happy. She said she knows she is being selfish but she has to do this. She was pretty non specific on why she was going there. She did say she was staying with her brother. She also told me she would sign any papers I needed so that i can have custody of them.  I asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to her kids and she said no and for me just to them that she loves them. She said that she left a key under the porch at her house so I could get their stuff. She said she had them all packed for them. As well as birth cert and ss cards. I do not even know how to break this to 5 year olds but  they can stay with us. My DH and I are meeting with a family lawyer tomorrow.



Final Update:

Lawyer said not to call CPS as long as she is willing to sign over custody as she says she is. But if she is not CPS will have to become involved. We do need to file a report with the police about what she did yesterday because it was not only abandonment but it was also child endangerment. Which is a crime that we must report if we know about it.  So, if she walks back on American soil she will probably be arrested for child endangerment. My friend went to her house. I gave her permission to check in the house with the key where she told me it was. I know its not my house and if anything is missing and I take full responsibility but this person wouldn't steal anything. She was not there but the children stuff was packed. So everything was as she said. We do plan on filing for custody. That doesn't mean we plan to adopt. that will come later. We are taking the kids to the lake this weekend to go boating and fishing. Hopefully that will get their mind off of stuff. But the have asked about their mom. I have told them their mom had to go away for a while. I figured this was the best thing to say at this point. Thanks for all of the well wishes. I do hope if she is having a breakdown she gets the help she needs. but I could never leave my children like that no matter what has happened. If my husband had died. I believe I would have wanted to hold on to the only things that would remind me of mine and his love the most. But maybe everyone doesn't feel that way when they are grieving.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 2, 2014 at 4:55 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 2, 2014 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 Actually this isn't entirely true. In most cases CPS will allow the children to remain with the relative (or seek a relative for placement). CPS is already burdened with children who NEED placement. they're not going to take a child from a safe home.

They may require OP to become a foster parent (which CPS will pay for) and have her home liscenced in the mean time. This would also allow her to obtain assistance from the state (benfits/money/daycare).

Quoting LiesLiesLies: They won't take them from her? Really? Where does this expert knowledge come from? Because they can...will and do take children from family members they were abandoned with every day...and it can take months to get them back...if not years.
Quoting Anonymous:

Yes you need to call CPS. They wont take them from you if you are willing to take care of them. But you need to get the paperwork started as power of attorney so you will be able to take them to the Drs and what not. 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on May. 2, 2014 at 5:12 PM
2 moms liked this
I would rather her drop them off with you than just abandon them. She needs a break. She absolutely did the right thing, how dare you ask how could she.. Unless you have been in her shoes don't hold it against her that she chose you to leave her babies with.. Not trying to be snarky but cut her some slack. Would you have rather her call cps n put them in foster care where they could be split up n its a pain to get them even though you are family, while she gets the help she needs. So chin up wait for your hubby and def get a lawyer.
Hanab818
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:13 PM
Call a lawyer. With the note and the favt you are family you can get custody.
tlcory
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:13 PM
5 moms liked this

Hahaha I've been on CM too long, I read  the first part of your reply "I'm with your DH" and immediately thought oh great she doesn't need this shit right now! Lol Sorry! :)

Quoting 3JuJu3:

I'm with your dh.  Wait until you can talk to a lawyer.  You are family after all, so there should be nothing wrong with you keeping them for a few days until you can figure out what to do.  Poor family. 


LyTe684
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:14 PM
I'm not understanding all the CPS comments. The kids are not in danger. Talk your lawyer like your husband said. Good luck.
blackpoppy
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:14 PM

 at least  she had enough sense to leave her kids with loving family members . i suggest calling a lawyer. i dont think the state can take them parents do this type of thing all the time as long as the kids are with the family and they are safe well cared for ect then cps wont have a prob.  just comfort the kids as best you can. did the mother leave any contact info? anything at all ie kids doc ect?

LCWAmommy
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:15 PM
This, you need to make sure you can get the insurance and handle school stuff. If you are willing and have no record and a safe home it shouldn't be a problem for you to be able to keep them. But make it legal so mom can't just come back and take them as easy as she left them. If she's willing to drop them off alone she needs help before she has them in her care again.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes you need to call CPS. They wont take them from you if you are willing to take care of them. But you need to get the paperwork started as power of attorney so you will be able to take them to the Drs and what not. 

momoftwo0406
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2014 at 5:15 PM
That's great I hope everything works out. So glad you guys can take them in. I'm sure it's gonna be a long road but worth guidance I'm sure they will be ok

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, actually we have one in college and one in highschool. We are planning to adopt this year and are in the process. We can take our niece and nephew in if need be.

Quoting momoftwo0406: Oh my I'm so sorry. I hope your husband gets home soon and you guys can figure out how to comfort these kids and figure out how to get them. Can you guys afford to take on another 2 kids?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 2, 2014 at 5:16 PM
5 moms liked this

Sorry I agree she did the right thing by dropping them with people love them because I do . But dont act like she did these kids a favor. She abandoned them. Dont act like that was the greatest gift ever.

Quoting Anonymous: I would rather her drop them off with you than just abandon them. She needs a break. She absolutely did the right thing, how dare you ask how could she.. Unless you have been in her shoes don't hold it against her that she chose you to leave her babies with.. Not trying to be snarky but cut her some slack. Would you have rather her call cps n put them in foster care where they could be split up n its a pain to get them even though you are family, while she gets the help she needs. So chin up wait for your hubby and def get a lawyer.


Bethsunshine
by on May. 2, 2014 at 5:16 PM
Those poor kids!! Definitely call an attorney. Don't call CPS unless you want them to be taken away from you and placed in foster care! Get temporary guardianship until you can figure out what to do next . Good luck!! Please keep us updated!
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN