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Final update: UPDATE: Update: My SIL just dropped her twins off at my house with a note

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 613 Replies
12 moms liked this

My 16 year old DD called me and said when she got home from school my brothers widow had dropped my niece and nephew off (they are 5) with a note that says she is too depressed and saddened by her husband (my brothers death) and that she cant be a mom right now. My dd said from what she gathered they had been there for a while and were crying. I rushed home from work. It also said that she is leaving and going overseas for a while. I am guessing she is going back to Italy because she is from Italy. I seriously am not sure what my next step is. I of course will care for them they are my late brothers children but I am scared if I call anyone they will get taken by the state and go into foster homes and they need to be with family. They just lost their dad in a military accident 8 months ago and now their mom abandons them. My cousin said to call CPS or at least the police. But I am not sure who to call. Any ideas? These poor babies. My husband said not to do anything until we talk to a lawyer and he gets home. He is flying in from Dallas where he was on business to help me with this. I don't know what to do. The kids wont stop crying and asking for their mom. All I can do is hold them and tell them it will be okay. How can a mom do this to their babies. I feel sad and do not even know what to tell them. I am hoping she comes to her senses.

Update:

Just wanted to let you guys know she wouldn't answer my calls or my texts but I just noticed when I looked on Facebook to see if she had posted anything recently that she posted 30 minutes ago.

"Taking off in 30 minutes, cannot wait to be home and start my life over."

Then underneath people are asking about her children and she is saying that my husband I asked her if we could adopt them and that we all agreed it would be better for the children if we adopted them and they stayed in the states.

People are calling her out calling her a bad mother and saying that she is stupid for doing that. I could go on there very easily and call her out and tell the truth but I think I will wait for my husband to get home and just copy and paste the whole damn thing.I wonder if she realizes i am on her page.

Sorry this doesnt sound like someone who has had a breakdown to me but maybe I am wrong.


Update2:  She called me during her layover. She said that she was sorry but that she knows she was never meant to be a mother. She only had children to make my brother happy. She said she knows she is being selfish but she has to do this. She was pretty non specific on why she was going there. She did say she was staying with her brother. She also told me she would sign any papers I needed so that i can have custody of them.  I asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to her kids and she said no and for me just to them that she loves them. She said that she left a key under the porch at her house so I could get their stuff. She said she had them all packed for them. As well as birth cert and ss cards. I do not even know how to break this to 5 year olds but  they can stay with us. My DH and I are meeting with a family lawyer tomorrow.



Final Update:

Lawyer said not to call CPS as long as she is willing to sign over custody as she says she is. But if she is not CPS will have to become involved. We do need to file a report with the police about what she did yesterday because it was not only abandonment but it was also child endangerment. Which is a crime that we must report if we know about it.  So, if she walks back on American soil she will probably be arrested for child endangerment. My friend went to her house. I gave her permission to check in the house with the key where she told me it was. I know its not my house and if anything is missing and I take full responsibility but this person wouldn't steal anything. She was not there but the children stuff was packed. So everything was as she said. We do plan on filing for custody. That doesn't mean we plan to adopt. that will come later. We are taking the kids to the lake this weekend to go boating and fishing. Hopefully that will get their mind off of stuff. But the have asked about their mom. I have told them their mom had to go away for a while. I figured this was the best thing to say at this point. Thanks for all of the well wishes. I do hope if she is having a breakdown she gets the help she needs. but I could never leave my children like that no matter what has happened. If my husband had died. I believe I would have wanted to hold on to the only things that would remind me of mine and his love the most. But maybe everyone doesn't feel that way when they are grieving.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 2, 2014 at 4:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Devious333
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2014 at 4:56 PM
20 moms liked this
Definitely wait for a lawyer. Those poor kids :(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
owl0210
by Emerald Member on May. 2, 2014 at 4:56 PM
4 moms liked this
Listen to your husband. Speak to an attorney.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
blahblahblah86
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 4:57 PM
I would call the cops and call a lawyer.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on May. 2, 2014 at 4:58 PM
14 moms liked this
Don't call CPS unless you don't care about these kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 2, 2014 at 4:58 PM
11 moms liked this

first step, talk to a lawyer.

and while it does suck...if she was able to just leave her two 5yo's behind like that, it was probably in their best interest, ya know?! good luck!

Dannygirl25
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2014 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to contact a lawyer and make a police report.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes you need to call CPS. They wont take them from you if you are willing to take care of them. But you need to get the paperwork started as power of attorney so you will be able to take them to the Drs and what not. 

1HOT_SINGLE_MOM
by Jan on May. 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM
6 moms liked this
Get temporarily guardianship and tell the courts what happened. This way if cps does get called they can't be taken away.
elfling811
by Niki on May. 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM
3 moms liked this
This

*hugs*

Quoting owl0210: Listen to your husband. Speak to an attorney.
LiesLiesLies
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM
13 moms liked this
Do NOT call CPS. Get in contact with her or wait for her to contact you and get a legal order of guardianship drawn up. The children DO NOT need to be taken and placed with strangers which is what will happen.

She may have had some sort of break...do the children not have passports? Maybe she couldn't take them? Grief can screw someone up...bad.
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