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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"you will just have to work more"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 77 Replies
I work full time as a nurse and dh used to own a small but successful contracting business. It was small enough that he had to work on the houses as well as run the business to keep it going but last year, he got into a car accident, his fault, that screwed up his back so badly that he can't even stand more than 10 minutes or even sit for more than 30 minutes . That meant the emd of him being able to work on the houses and so his business failed. He can't even do a desk job even if he found one he was qualified for. His disability isn't much after he pays for his pain meds and physical therapy. I have 4 kids (2 live with us and are 13 and 15, one is in college and my oldest is married with her own kids) and he has 2, 6 and 8, who visit every other weekend and live with their mom 2 hours away. He won't go to lower his $700 a month child support which means his entire check is going to his medical expenses and child support while I am supporting the household on my income and cs for my kids. it sucked at first but we downsized a few things and we make do. But now his ex is demanding $100 every time she has to drop the kids off. He is supposed to pick them up from her and she's supposed to pick them up from him but as I said he can't sit for more than 30 minutes so driving for 2 hours is just not possible and I work on Fridays so I can't go get them. I don't even get off of work until 8 o'clock so I wouldn't even be able to be there till after 10 and then we wouldn't be home till midnight. there is really no one else we can ask. My parents both work on Fridays DH doesn't have any family in the area We sat down and I told him we just don't have an extra $200 a month. We spoke with an attorney who told us that she absolutely can refuse to drive them since it says in their court order that he supposed to get them. We could take it to court but a judge would likely order that we pay her $100 per time or find a way ourselves. We went over and over the budget and like I said we just don't have $200 laying around every month. He looked at me and said "well you'll just have to work more". I was so mad. I said " I work full time, I support this entire household including providing for your kids while they're here while you sit around the house all day because you got in a car accident that was your fault and now you can't work and you have the nerve to tell me to work more because you don't want to reduce the month child support you're paying despite the fact that my children have had to downsize.". I told him that our only option was to go to court have child support reduced which it would be since he's not getting nearly what he used to make and then pay his ex the $100 every two weeks for transportation. Chances are child support would be reduced to about 300 a month which means that we would actually have a little bit of extra money which is a good thing because we could really use that. this conversation happened last night when I got home from work and he hasn't talked to me since. I really feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I see nothing wrong with his kids having to downsize a little bit since he is the one who can't work anymore especially since my kids already have downsized and both of their parents are gainfully employed.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2014 at 3:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2014 at 3:59 PM
sorry no paragraphs my phone wont let me do it
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2014 at 3:59 PM

BUMP!

ame85
by Chemistry cat on May. 3, 2014 at 4:02 PM
If he is handy, he can consider making and selling stuff on Etsy. Seriously, even little wooden toys are very popular. I do it and bring in an extra $200-400 per month. It took a while to get started but if he sticks with it he can succeed!
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on May. 3, 2014 at 4:02 PM
5 moms liked this

Then go to court  and have the child support reduced. I don't see an alternative and you are working your ass off as it is. IF he isn't willingly to do that then he is shit out of luck

Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2014 at 4:02 PM
5 moms liked this
I would leave him. Fuck that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2014 at 4:05 PM
Quoting ame85: If he is handy, he can consider making and selling stuff on Etsy. Seriously, even little wooden toys are very popular. I do it and bring in an extra $200-400 per month. It took a while to get started but if he sticks with it he can succeed!
he's not. He used to be really good at things like laying tile or putting in hardwood floors but he can't do that anymore
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2014 at 4:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Quoting Sassy762:

Then go to court  and have the child support reduced. I don't see an alternative and you are working your ass off as it is. IF he isn't willingly to do that then he is shit out of luck

I agree I don't think its right for me to have to work overtime so that he can pay his ex and more than she's entitled to
Miller0305
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 4:07 PM
1 mom liked this
If he won't agree to lower the CS then this.

Quoting Elle.tea.22: I would leave him. Fuck that.
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DirtyPrincess
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 4:08 PM
He needs to go to court and get the child support reduced. That's crazy him expecting you and your kids to downsize just so his kids don't have to!
Miller0305
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell her if you take her to court she'll be getting less than she is now even with her having to pay for transportation. Although how does it cost $100 to drive for 4 hours!

Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting Sassy762:

Then go to court  and have the child support reduced. I don't see an alternative and you are working your ass off as it is. IF he isn't willingly to do that then he is shit out of luck



I agree I don't think its right for me to have to work overtime so that he can pay his ex and more than she's entitled to
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