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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

so at what point do I tell him...so I told him

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OK. So I just moved from South Florida to Ohio to live with my boyfriend. We've only been together about a month BUT we were together for 7 months 6 years ago and lived together back then.

He knows pretty much everything about me. We talk about almost everything for hrs. We have shared so much about ourselves but I've left one major thing out...my mental health issues. I'm bi polar I and borderline. I am not medicated. I choose to treat with therapy and behavior modification instead.

His ex wife is BiPolar and misused her medication and soured him completely on people with those sorts of issues. He put her through 3 rehabs before giving up and leaving her. I'm afraid if he finds out it will scare him off.

So...when and how do I tell him this? Or is it something better left unsaid? He knows about my past drug addictions and the fact that I am an abuse survivor and he is willing to deal with those things. Is this something he HAS to know? Especially since I am not medicated?

ETA: Well, I told him last night. He got very quiet. Asked for a moment to precess and went outside for a cigarette. When he came back in he was very calm and he said he thought he could handle it, seeing as I seem to be very self aware and willing to deal with my ilness in a safe, productive manner and  I am nothing like his ex wife.  He said he was hurt I'd held back but he understood my reasons and that he wasnt angry with me.

 He then proceeded to make a confession to me as well. He actually handed me his phone to read a conversation between him and his ex wife. Apparently, like the week before he and i started talking he was talking to her about moving up here to reunite his family and try again. She was actually considering leaving her long time boyfriend to come back to him...but the day he and i started talking (and at the time we were only talking as friends) he told her he was having second thoughts and she said she was too and they opted not to reunite.

So we were both holding something back. We ended up having a long talk aboutthe need to be totally open with eachother about everything and how because things happened so fast this time, there had been an element of fear on both our parts but now that i'm here,  moved in and we are happy together and feel safe we need to let that fear go. 

So it went better than I thought it would, though I did find something out I dont necessarily like but if he can get past my mental illness, I can get past him almost getting bacl together with his ex wife,

by on May. 3, 2014 at 7:05 PM
Replies (41-50):
corticosteroid
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:31 PM
3 moms liked this

Way too late on this one...

Given that you had a miscarriage like two fucking weeks ago and are already with this guy, safe to say you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, so come clean NOW about all your bullshit "issues".  Give the guy a chance to get out before you fuck his world up with your "unmediated" issues.

Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I know I can. I just have to "nut up" so to speak. I can do this. I'm hoping the next chance he and I have to really sit and talk I can get it out.

Quoting jjames1990: You cam do it! Present it with the "problem"...I am bi polar...then the solution. .I do this this, ect to keep it under control and deal with it.

Quoting Joie35: Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe the next night he has off...or the next time we start talking seriously....ugh. So nervewracking. Its kinda the last hurdle I have before feeling completely content with my choice to come here.

Quoting jjames1990: Ignore her, she loves to spread cheer!

Tell him soon, he deserves full disclosure

Quoting Joie35: Don't bother feeling sorry for them. I'm happy. They are happy. His kids are happy. We are all good.

Quoting Sara-1989: That should have been told before moving in together. And you should never rice in with someone after a month. That won't end well. I feel sorry for your children.
mary716
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:32 PM
Shes said it a thousand times she doesnt have custody

Quoting littlesippycup:

Yes all children love living with mommys new man after only a month!! Children just crave instability!!

Quoting Joie35: Don't bother feeling sorry for them. I'm happy. They are happy. His kids are happy. We are all good.

Quoting Sara-1989: That should have been told before moving in together. And you should never rice in with someone after a month. That won't end well. I feel sorry for your children.

Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:33 PM
Yeah I see what you mean. And I know I should have. It was just not something I really wanted to bring up on the phone and I only had a week in person with him before I went back to gey ready to move. Yeah I know. Excuses. Honestly I was scared to tell him, knowing what he went through with his ex wife. I know I need.to tell him. I just have to get up the guts and figure out exactly how to.

Quoting curvygurl1912:

Honey, you still should have told hom. You decieved him on purpose and that is never a good thing to do with someone you are trying to build a relationship with. I would not like it if someone did that to me and you probably would not like it if someone did it to you. I hope it works out, but better to tell him sooner rather than later. the longer you hide something like that, the more upset he is likely to be, kwim? 


Quoting Joie35: I didn't move my kids. They live with their dad for now. I will have them summers and every other major holiday for now.
Quoting curvygurl1912:

You should have told him before you moved your kids from Florida to Ohio to live with him.


 

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:34 PM
3 moms liked this

That's not in the OP I didn't read 4 pages of replies. Moving away from her kids for a dick doesn't make me think any better of her either so oh well. 

Quoting mary716: Shes said it a thousand times she doesnt have custody
Quoting littlesippycup:

Yes all children love living with mommys new man after only a month!! Children just crave instability!!

Quoting Joie35: Don't bother feeling sorry for them. I'm happy. They are happy. His kids are happy. We are all good.
Quoting Sara-1989: That should have been told before moving in together. And you should never rice in with someone after a month. That won't end well. I feel sorry for your children.


littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this

ugh i thought this shit reeked of huge instability. damn.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Way too late on this one...

Given that you had a miscarriage like two fucking weeks ago and are already with this guy, safe to say you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, so come clean NOW about all your bullshit "issues".  Give the guy a chance to get out before you fuck his world up with your "unmediated" issues.


Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:35 PM
I had a mc in march...which he is completely aware of. I was actually in the hospital when he and I started talking again

anyway. That's all I'm saying to this.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Way too late on this one...

Given that you had a miscarriage like two fucking weeks ago and are already with this guy, safe to say you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, so come clean NOW about all your bullshit "issues".  Give the guy a chance to get out before you fuck his world up with your "unmediated" issues.

Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:35 PM
I had a mc in march...which he is completely aware of. I was actually in the hospital when he and I started talking again

anyway. That's all I'm saying to this.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Way too late on this one...

Given that you had a miscarriage like two fucking weeks ago and are already with this guy, safe to say you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, so come clean NOW about all your bullshit "issues".  Give the guy a chance to get out before you fuck his world up with your "unmediated" issues.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 3, 2014 at 7:38 PM
This may very well be the first time I've agreed with you lol.

op id tell him sooner than later, he may not trust you if you wait and you don't want the kids to get more attached just incase he doesn't want to deal with that. Good luck!

Quoting Sara-1989: That should have been told before moving in together. And you should never rice in with someone after a month. That won't end well. I feel sorry for your children.
Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2014 at 7:39 PM
I didn't move away for dick. I was moving away anyway. I couldn't afford to live on my own where I was and I couldn't keep crashing on my ex and his fiancees couch. I chose Ohio because if him but I was actually planning to leave anyway.

Quoting littlesippycup:

That's not in the OP I didn't read 4 pages of replies. Moving away from her kids for a dick doesn't make me think any better of her either so oh well. 

Quoting mary716: Shes said it a thousand times she doesnt have custody

Quoting littlesippycup:

Yes all children love living with mommys new man after only a month!! Children just crave instability!!

Quoting Joie35: Don't bother feeling sorry for them. I'm happy. They are happy. His kids are happy. We are all good.

Quoting Sara-1989: That should have been told before moving in together. And you should never rice in with someone after a month. That won't end well. I feel sorry for your children.

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