Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Daughter-In-Law from HELL

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

This isn't a confession it is more of a vent.

My youngest son is 19, active duty military who wed Feb of 2013 and his wife had a baby in Sept of 2013.

I raised my son however at 16 he decided because he knew he was going in to the military he wanted to move to San Antonio to get to know his father. So reluctantly I agreed. It was rocky from the start. I made many attempts to talk my son in to coming home however, he wanted to try.

Eventually it became too much for my son so he started hanging out with different girls and their families. He was really excited about this one young lady however, her family quickly judged him and made them break up. So he got with this girl and she has been HELL on wheels.

I knew something was wrong with her the day they told me she got upset my son was on the phone with his big sister. I mean she actually got jealous and told him he wasn't allowed to speak to his own sister. I was floored!!!!

Her parents have this belief you live in the moment not for the future, so they don't save money or anything. The daughter actually drives her mom to meet up with other men while the father is at work.

Anywho... here is my complaint....

So they got married, he shipped off in August of 2013 and the little girl was born Sept of the same year. The military allowed them to skyp during delivery.

The wife knew going in my son's plan to join the military and go career. Since his inlistment she has done nothing but try to get him kicked out. A few weeks ago she found out his commander information through her brother who is also active duty. Called them and lied stating she wasn't getting any money. My son showed ample documentation he was sending money and explained to his superiors the situation. He was advised to not file for divorce but to seek counseling.

He got to Oklahoma 2 weeks ago and move her and the little one there. After only being there a week the girl starts hitting on him taunting him to hit her back. She continues to hit on him, finally he tries to restrain her by holding her arms she begins kicking him so he pins her against the wall and begs her to calm down. So this chick calls the MP's. They get there of course because he is active duty they remove him from the home for a 72 hour hold.

Where I am confused if she didn't want a soldier for a husband why in the hell did she marry him in the first place? The military is charging them both with asault but he is also getting an article 15. I told him to fight it because he went to his superiors while in AIT when her drama first started seeking help to file for a divorce and instead of helping him they told him to stick with psycho and now look what happened.

She had the audasity to tell him "I don't want to live as your wife I just want the benefits, so don't file for a divorce but lets live seperate" I told him you are crazy to accept that offer. Because he didn't this is the end result. Just beside myself

Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2014 at 5:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SmallTown_Momma
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2014 at 5:26 AM

This is the one thing i do not understand ,

How does the military have a say in if he divorces her or not?

Personally, i would be telling him to do just that!

Poppy37
by on May. 4, 2014 at 5:31 AM
I hope he leaves her. Sorry he is in such a bad situation. Is hi going to fight it? He was defending himself!
Poppy37
by on May. 4, 2014 at 5:31 AM
I hope he leaves her. Sorry he is in such a bad situation. Is hi going to fight it? He was defending himself!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 4, 2014 at 5:38 AM
1 mom liked this

This sounds really one-sided. Not saying he's lying, but maybe abstain from hating her right off the bat.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 5:39 AM


Quoting SmallTown_Momma:

This is the one thing i do not understand ,

How does the military have a say in if he divorces her or not?

Personally, i would be telling him to do just that!




saraface5383
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2014 at 5:40 AM
He married her. He had a child with her. I'm sure he saw crazy before this. He needs to man up and handle this shit before it gets worse.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 5:40 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

This sounds really one-sided. Not saying he's lying, but maybe abstain from hating her right off the bat.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 5:45 AM

No dear it isn't one sided I just didn't have 10 hours to tell you the full story. The girl is a very hateful person, she baffles me beyond belief. She has extreme highs for 2 minutes then she is a basket case. Trust me I thought the same thing till I started getting emails from her and then he started forwarding me her texts to him.

I thought initially he was exagerating about her till I got the messages and some from her directly. The little girl doesn't even know me and with all honesty she really doesn't want to get to know me not at this point.

I have kept silent because my son asked me to however, this was the final straw for me.


And for the question from the other regarding the military... they don't have the right however, without listening they just thought they were two young teenagers just being brats when they advised him. Plus he was in AIT they really didn't care about the issues because he was just in training not his permanent duty station.

orngblsm
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2014 at 5:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately, legally, he is at fault for not leaving when the situation escalated to physical abuse and calling the authorities.  He might be able to fight the article 15, but he will need a good attorney.

He also needs file for divorce and custody asap because the mother doesn't sound all that stable.  (Has he had a paternity test done to make sure the little girl is really his?)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 4, 2014 at 5:47 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm guessing that because your son is in OK, he's at Sill. 

He was told by his COC to try and work it out because that is the first response.  There are a lot of kids who get married way too early (usually with a baby on the way) and have no maturity or skills to deal with life.  So yes, first thing is try and work it out.  This scenario is a whole lot more common than you would ever think. 

If your son wants to save his military career, he needs to separate from her, with the intent to divorce, and pay child support.  He has resources available to him--have him ask his Sgt or First Sgt.--for help with this.  If he is a good soldier otherwise, they will be more than happy to help him.  Once he files the papers, he will then move into the barracks and have visitation with his child.  His "wife" will get a small amount of money that will be provided to her directly, through his pay.  He should not go to visitation alone, but instead have someone with him when he picks up/drops off the child.  This will be uncomfortable and difficult, but he will have to document things on his end.  He should also be prepared for the day when this girl either moves back home, takes up with another soldier, or leaves the child on his door step.

Also, he may have already learned this lesson, but have a very frank discussion with him about birth control and not relying on any female to take her pill, her shot, or whatever.  "Wrap it before you tap it" will go a long way from preventing this from happening again.  Wherever he is stationed, there will always be nasty little skanks wanting to get knocked up for a free ride.

My husband is a field grade officer in the Army.  You cannot believe how much this kind of stuff happens.  It is a really sad commentary on young people. 

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)