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am I in the wrong

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
My kids father and I have always been civil for the kids sake. Personally I think he is super immature and irresponsible. He has never been actively involved in their lives. He comes and goes a lot. His parents on the other hand have always been super involved and see them frequently.

Their dad just had another kid in march. The mother of this child and him have not been together until after the kid was born. They then decided to get married since they have a child together. He has never gotten his own place for him and the kids in 2 1/2 years. He decided two weeks ago he was moving out of his parents house and is living with his soon to be wife. I do NOT trust my kids dad to have them alone. ALL drop offs and visitation is to be at his parents house. (They are not court ordered but we have notarized visitation agreement papers that we both signed).

On Friday I get to his parents and he text me to let me know visitation will no longer be at his parents house since he moved out. I said ummmm I think not!!! For one I have never met his gf nor seen his home. He has no beds for them they will not have their own rooms and he has never been involved very much.

I have talked to his mom and she says there is no room in that tiny house for them to have their own beds. She said its a super small house with very little play area.

I don't feel like my kids need to be spending the night with someone I never met. Plus they are have never stayed with him for more than a couple hours. The only place they have ever stayed the night ever is his parents.

Am I wrong for saying this needs to be a slow transition for them. I say the kids can go during the day for a few hours to spend with their dad because I feel they need to have that relationship but then they need to go back to his parents at night.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MilkLover0203
by on May. 4, 2014 at 1:16 PM
If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
Rebecca7708
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2014 at 1:18 PM
I agree with this. How many children do you have? Do they really each need their own room?

Quoting MilkLover0203: If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM
If they only occasionally spend the night why do they need their own rooms?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM
I have tried several times to meet her but when the time comes she is always "super busy and can't make it". I need to rewrite that civil part. We have always been civil until recently. He has decided that now that he has someone to impress he tries to tell me how things are going to be.

Im a very very nice person until you try to bulldog me.....its not going to happen. When I said visitation needs to stay at his parents until we can talk about things he hasn't spoke to me since.

The past few weekends that they have been at his parents I have had to call his parents because he will no longer answer when I text or call to check on them.

Quoting MilkLover0203: If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
MilkLover0203
by on May. 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM
Even my children don't have their own room. We live in a big house.

Quoting Rebecca7708: I agree with this. How many children do you have? Do they really each need their own room?

Quoting MilkLover0203: If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 1:21 PM
Not their own rooms but a spot for them to have a bed of thier own.

Quoting Anonymous: If they only occasionally spend the night why do they need their own rooms?
MilkLover0203
by on May. 4, 2014 at 1:22 PM
Unfortunately unless they're in actual danger, or she's a registered sex offender, nobody will do anything. I'd make it a point to show up over there if the girlfriend is always really busy. They're your children. You have rights to them. If visitation isn't happening the way it should, go to court.

Quoting Anonymous: I have tried several times to meet her but when the time comes she is always "super busy and can't make it". I need to rewrite that civil part. We have always been civil until recently. He has decided that now that he has someone to impress he tries to tell me how things are going to be.

Im a very very nice person until you try to bulldog me.....its not going to happen. When I said visitation needs to stay at his parents until we can talk about things he hasn't spoke to me since.

The past few weekends that they have been at his parents I have had to call his parents because he will no longer answer when I text or call to check on them.

Quoting MilkLover0203: If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 4, 2014 at 1:24 PM
How about a fold out couch or air mattress? My niece is like my third child and she spends the night often but she sleeps on dds floor. It's not like they're living there.

Quoting Anonymous: Not their own rooms but a spot for them to have a bed of thier own.

Quoting Anonymous: If they only occasionally spend the night why do they need their own rooms?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 1:25 PM
They share a room here also (their choice). I don't mean separate rooms for each chils but for them to have an area with a bed and their clothes. His mom said its a two bedroom and there is already two kids living there full-time.

Quoting MilkLover0203: Even my children don't have their own room. We live in a big house.

Quoting Rebecca7708: I agree with this. How many children do you have? Do they really each need their own room?

Quoting MilkLover0203: If you've always been civil for the children's sake, this shouldn't be hard to figure out either. I'd say meet the girlfriend, go visit the house. It's what I'd do. See for yourself or you won't be comfortable regardless.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 1:27 PM
No. I feel like they are his kids not a neice or cousin coming over. They need to feel comfortable going over there not like they are a burden and need to sleep on the floor while his other kids get beds.

Quoting Anonymous: How about a fold out couch or air mattress? My niece is like my third child and she spends the night often but she sleeps on dds floor. It's not like they're living there.

Quoting Anonymous: Not their own rooms but a spot for them to have a bed of thier own.

Quoting Anonymous: If they only occasionally spend the night why do they need their own rooms?
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