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would you cut them both out?

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:28 PM
  • 30 Replies
My dad is an alcoholic and he's always calling me nasty names. Cunt, bitch, piece of shit..etc etc. He always tries to pick a fight and he has always been abusive since I can remember mentally and physically to both my mother and I. He's gotten worse recently and even though I'm pregnant with my first child, it hasn't changed anything. I can honestly say that I pretty much hate my father and he should have never been a parent. I've felt this way since I was a child but my need for parents always got the better of me. I've decided recently to cut him out of my life however. Especially with being pregnant.

Now my mom always defends him. Why? Because everything is in his name and she doesn't have enough sense to start over. She is always making excuses for his behavior and blames everyone else for his actions. I'm fed up.

At this point should I just cut both of them off? He will never change and she will take his side over any family members including myself and her soon to be grandson. I just don't know what to do anymore.
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nopenope666
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:30 PM
If she has such an issue, they both go.
I'm sure you dont want your baby around a mean alcoholic or his enabling wife anyway.
Beyonce1
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Why? They sound like normal loving parents. Your kid would LOVE to have them as grandparents.
frndlyfn
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:31 PM

Get out from under their thumb and show mom how to be a strong woman who does not live in fear of others.  I am presuming you are over 18 so should have your own place anyhow.   I feel bad for your mom since she can not gain the strength to leave and start over fresh.   Fear is a very powerful emotion if you let it be.

LyTe684
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:32 PM
Is that what you want your child to think is normal and acceptable?
MyCaptain
by Horror queen on May. 4, 2014 at 9:33 PM
I added more. Stupid phone sucks :(

Quoting frndlyfn:

Get out from under their thumb and show mom how to be a strong woman who does not live in fear of others.  I am presuming you are over 18 so should have your own place anyhow.   I feel bad for your mom since she can not gain the strength to leave and start over fresh.   Fear is a very powerful emotion if you let it be.

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:33 PM

I dont think it is in your childs best interest to be a part of that. But having kids is exhausting, do you have a good support system? Its really hard to not have family when you have little ones.. My family is 16 hours away.. It was/still is brutal sometimes. You definestly dont deserve to be called names or endure treatment like that.. And of course your mom defends him, she is his wife and I am guessing her life has revolvedaround him. The blinders of an enabler are hardto overcome.  Have you ever gone to al-anon? 

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:37 PM

Yup.  I still cut them both out.  You can break that cycle by protecting your child from any violence whether it be sober or drunk induced.

Quoting MyCaptain: I added more. Stupid phone sucks :(
Quoting frndlyfn:

Get out from under their thumb and show mom how to be a strong woman who does not live in fear of others.  I am presuming you are over 18 so should have your own place anyhow.   I feel bad for your mom since she can not gain the strength to leave and start over fresh.   Fear is a very powerful emotion if you let it be.


MyCaptain
by Horror queen on May. 4, 2014 at 9:39 PM
It's not just that though, she will also be nasty in order to make him look good. Like he will go around saying shit where we can all hear it but she will deny that he said it if I confront him about it. Or she will basically call me crazy or blame me when he is being nasty.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Get out from under their thumb and show mom how to be a strong woman who does not live in fear of others.  I am presuming you are over 18 so should have your own place anyhow.   I feel bad for your mom since she can not gain the strength to leave and start over fresh.   Fear is a very powerful emotion if you let it be.

MyCaptain
by Horror queen on May. 4, 2014 at 9:41 PM
It's just hard when you've been raised to believe that it's your fault or that you are the bad one. I don't know why I still blame myself. I really struggle with thinking I'm the problem.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yup.  I still cut them both out.  You can break that cycle by protecting your child from any violence whether it be sober or drunk induced.

Quoting MyCaptain: I added more. Stupid phone sucks :(

Quoting frndlyfn:

Get out from under their thumb and show mom how to be a strong woman who does not live in fear of others.  I am presuming you are over 18 so should have your own place anyhow.   I feel bad for your mom since she can not gain the strength to leave and start over fresh.   Fear is a very powerful emotion if you let it be.

MyCaptain
by Horror queen on May. 4, 2014 at 9:44 PM
Bump..
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