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Calling All Military Wives/Mommies!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
Okay so I'm 22 and have a two year old daughter. Back in high school, I always wanted to join the military but sadly I cannot due to a birth defect that I was born with. I met my fiance a year ago and he too has a two year old son. He joined the marines after high school and made it through boot camp but then had to leave the military because his mom fell incredibly ill and he had to stay and take care of her. I don't know if finished boot camp or not when this happened. Well tonight we were both talking and for some reason, joining the military popped into my head and I got depressed (I'm pregnant so it happens) I was telling him what I thought the pros were to it all and what other military personnel has told me and it seemed to spark an interest to him. He says he's now thinking about joining again. I'm excited because I see the military as a life of travel. I may be wrong here but that's how it seems to me. Then I got to thinking that I don't really know what the military life entails. So ladies, what's it really like to be a military mommy/wife? Also, if we have children with other people, what happens if he joins and we get shipped across the u.s? Do we completly lose them?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2014 at 11:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
toriandgrace
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I personally wouldn't join the military if I had a child with someone other than my spouse. Custody arrangements get too difficult, especially if both parents have children with others.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:17 PM
If you have joint custody of any children you'll have to go through the court to ask for permission before you move out of state, and make some kind of agreement with the other custodial parent. My husband has been in 13 years. I think of it as any other job. He's been able to get his MBA, and has a good career. It's a very time consuming career choice, but it's not really like yay we're traveling. Lol It has it's good, and bad aspects like anything else. It also very much depends on what branch, and what job he gets how your life is going to be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:18 PM

He is not getting in. 1-they are not taking prior service and 2-he will have too many dependants if you marry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:19 PM

 

Quoting toriandgrace: I personally wouldn't join the military if I had a child with someone other than my spouse. Custody arrangements get too difficult, especially if both parents have children with others.

 good advice

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2014 at 11:20 PM
To many dependents? My best friend just married her military husband and she has three kids by a different guy

Quoting Anonymous:

He is not getting in. 1-they are not taking prior service and 2-he will have too many dependants if you marry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:21 PM

 Was he already in the military? That is the difference. When he goes to join he has to list his dependants. He has too many.

Quoting Anonymous: To many dependents? My best friend just married her military husband and she has three kids by a different guy
Quoting Anonymous:

He is not getting in. 1-they are not taking prior service and 2-he will have too many dependants if you marry.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:23 PM
Not true. Depends on the branch.

Quoting Anonymous:

He is not getting in. 1-they are not taking prior service and 2-he will have too many dependants if you marry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:23 PM
I'm not sure how it works if you have children with someone else. I know my friends always had custody of their kids and they went to their dad's most summer's. As far as military life, I can only tell you my experience which isn't really typical.

We spent our first three years in Nebraska. No choice on the first base, they send you where they want you. During three years (during which he worked from 7am-4pm typically) while he built up rank, he had to work an additional part time job to make enough to support a family.

After that three years was up, we moved to Guam. We spent an amazing two years there. Because of Cost of Living pay we were pretty financially stable there.

Then we moved to Spain, where we spent three years. The extra pay we received there was enough to provide us a decent life there too. He was only gone for a few weeks while we were there.

When we left Spain we went to Washington state. We were stuck there for 7 years. Not that it was terrible, but it's hard to make friends and have them all leave. Also during That time we went through one deployment and numerous week to 3 week tdy.

If you can handle being separated for up to a year at a time, have no problem moving on extremely short notice to a place you may not want to go, or being alone with your kids in a foreign country, then you may enjoy the military life. I did.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:25 PM

 You're telling me they (any branch)will have no issue with him having 4 dependants at this time? Mmhhhm.

Quoting Anonymous: Not true. Depends on the branch.
Quoting Anonymous:

He is not getting in. 1-they are not taking prior service and 2-he will have too many dependants if you marry.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 4, 2014 at 11:26 PM
It can be hard as a military wife. Don't just think of travel, there are also deployments and training. W's is 4 has dad seperation problems because dh was gone between ages 1-2.
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