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spoiling a baby

Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies

I have heard it said that you cannot spoil a baby.  But is that really true?  What if the baby is never put down, not even when they nap.  What if the baby is played with and entertained constantly, rather than allowed to play with toys on their own.  Don't get me wrong, I dislike listening to a baby cry as much as the next person.  And I would never advocate making them wait for food or a diaper change or any other necessity.  Obviously taking care of necessities would never be considered spoiling them.  But what about holding them?  Is it spoiling them to hold them all the time?  Of course babies should be held and snuggled some of the time.  But is it possible to hold them so much of the time that they fail to learn to entertain themselves or self-soothe?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2014 at 1:32 PM
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by HAIL NUGGY! on May. 6, 2014 at 1:34 PM

This is my life. I've held my newborn son in my lap for the past week almost constantly because getting up and down has been difficult so holding him has been easier.

BIG MISTAKE. I can get him to sleep in the bassinet during the day but at night? FUGGEDABOUTIT.

by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2014 at 1:37 PM
It just depends on the individual child. I held my son during naps for at least the first 4 months. We never had a problem getting him to sleep in his own bed. I've always payed him a lot of attention, but he's independent. I'm a sahm yet he almost never cries when I leave. That's just how he is.
by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:42 PM

I don't know if you can spoil a baby or not but I sure wish I would have held mine more. They grew up so fast. I  didn't make that mistake with my granddaughter. I lay her down awake at naptime but still rock her to sleep at bedtime when she stays over. I love watching her sleep in my arms. 

by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2014 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this

alot of it depends on the kid...there is a huge difference between spoiling and what you feels right and take your cues from baby...thats the best any of us can do...

hippy mamma to lots of lovies

by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:46 PM

Well if you never let them have tummy time, or self stimualtion, that isn't spoiling, that is bad parenting.  I am not a fan of letting babies cry and cry, but I also think you need to be able to put him/her down and get things done.  I think it makes older kids more clingy if they never are put down.

by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:49 PM
It depends on the child and the child's age. A newborn you aren't going to spoil by holding them. You have to remember that they have been inside their mother's body for 10 months. Just the transition to being out is huge for them. Everything is new. Holding them provides them comfort and security, and I the long run, that will actually help them to become more independent, because they aren't scared of being left alone.
by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:50 PM
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something gets spoiled by being left sitting in the cabinet or fridge for too long, not being paid attention to. think about that.

by Anonymous 2 on May. 6, 2014 at 1:52 PM
I enjoyed holding my babies all the time. I loved to watch them nap. My kids weren't spoiled. They slept in their beds at a year. We co slept up to that point.
by Grammar Enthusiast on May. 6, 2014 at 1:54 PM
Meh, DS was definitely "spoiled".
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2014 at 2:09 PM

I have two children of my own, and I didn't hold them constantly.  I think they have turned out okay so far.  (They are 5 & 7 years old.)  But I'm going to start babysitting regularly for a family member because she is going back to work.  The baby is 2 months old.  I watched the baby for 7 1/2 hours on Sunday & I noticed that she didn't nap well.  She was fed & changed and then put down for her nap.  It was obvious that she was tired, but she only napped for a very short period of time and then woke up crying.  I rocked her, put her down again after she settled & it happened all over again.  By the evening, she was so overtired from not napping well that she was inconsolable.  Quite frankly it was a horrible experience.  When I asked how long she usually naps, I was told an hour and a half, but that she holds the baby in her lap the entire time.  I had laundry and other things I needed to get done around the house that day.  And when I start watching her regularly it will be overnights.  So she needs to be able to sleep in her own crib or pack 'n play without being held all night long.  I work days so I have to be able to get some sleep at night.

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