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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Are you a divorced or single mom?

Posted by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:11 AM
  • 125 Replies
1 mom liked this

Are you a divorced or single mom? What's the biggest misconception other moms or parents have about you, your life, and/or your parenting? What dumb things do people think it's okay to say to you that are completely off base and untrue? Your answers could be included in an upcoming post on The Stir.

by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
o.O....
by Cara on May. 8, 2014 at 10:52 AM
3 moms liked this
I'm both... I don't have time to worry about what others think of me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 8, 2014 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm a married mother. Why not include us?
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2014 at 10:54 AM
9 moms liked this
Lol because that isn't what the article is about.

Quoting Anonymous: I'm a married mother. Why not include us?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 8, 2014 at 10:57 AM
7 moms liked this
Do widows count? We seem to be the forgotten class of partnerless mothers.
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2014 at 11:02 AM
6 moms liked this
People assume that because I don't have the same last name as my son that I was not married. I changed it back to my maiden name.

Because his dad isn't around, people have asked how well I knew the guy... hinting around to find out if it was a one night stand situation. Wrong, I was married.

In the course of dating, I have discovered that men assume if you have a child there is drama with an ex, you are a trashy woman, or you are dating to marry your next paycheck. I shocked one guy who was trying to inform me that even if things went well he would not he supporting me. Of course he wouldn't, I make more.
momof4kids257
by on May. 8, 2014 at 11:03 AM

was married for 25 years now single mom of 4

PandTsmomjuly
by Florence on May. 8, 2014 at 11:04 AM
9 moms liked this

I'm a divorced mom.

I don't really concern myself with what other people think of me.

I work hard to support my kids. I HAVE had comments about "living off child support" but that's from people that don't realize he hasn't kept a job in almost 2 years.

He's ex military and everyone seems to think we get all these benefits but we don't.

Dividing time and holidays with my kids is hell. I get comments like "oh, must be nice to be kid-free so often" but it's really not. I hate missing birthdays and holidays and losing most of the summer. 

Another comment I've gotten is "that I must be lonely" (before meeting the man I'm with) but I wasn't. I was too busy surviving and struggling to really notice I didn't have a man by my side.

When we first split I hate hearing things like:

You are better off.
He isn't/wasn't worthy of you.
Good riddance!

etc.

That actually made me feel worse. I questioned my judgement in men and myself, started second guessing everything I did. It was horrible.

I also dislike hearing how "strong" I am. I'm not any stronger than any other person. I did what I had to do to get through it. I went through a grieving process until I finally dealt with it. I have hang ups now, even with a new and wonderful man.

Divorce really changed the way I looked at myself and those around me. 

catcameback
by on May. 8, 2014 at 11:08 AM
7 moms liked this


Most frequent stupid thing people say to me is, "aaw, you'll find someone for you."  People assume I want to remarry or that I have to for my son.  If I say I have no desire to, they get smug and say "you never know!" or "You'll change your mind when you meet the right guy!"

Very irritating.

1likeme
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2014 at 11:09 AM
I am engaged now but we still live sperately but I was single for three years. People assumed that my life is exceedingly rough and I must be wading in misery every day. After I processed my feelings about my failed marriage I was happy. My day to day ran smoothly and my children were not out of control. I have a tight budget but there is room for extras and fun activities so we aren't missing out on life. Truth is my life became much easier when I kicked my ex out.
eykelley
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2014 at 11:18 AM
I was just reading through the comments and wanted to comment on yours. When dh and i seperated i thought about this quite a bit. We ended up making it work in the end however there was a period of time when we couldnt stand each other. It was bad. But i knew deep down, i didnt want another man. I have no interest in my kids having a step parent in the home. Its a situation i wanted to avoid. Gl to u and ur son. :)

Quoting catcameback:

Most frequent stupid thing people say to me is, "aaw, you'll find someone for you."  People assume I want to remarry or that I have to for my son.  If I say I have no desire to, they get smug and say "you never know!" or "You'll change your mind when you meet the right guy!"

Very irritating.

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