I just want to enjoy my daughter's infancy. I don't want to be stuck with mastitis, blocked ducts, poor milk supply, poor latching, crying, screaming hungy baby, headaches, heartaches, sleep deprivation and breast pumps. I spend so much time hooked to that damn pump trying to increase my supply that I think I may have forgotten that I have a husband. It's been 4 weeks of this stress and pain. I GIVE UP!!!!!
Giving my daughter a happy and unstressed, pain free mother who can love her much better in that state is way more important to me. My first was formula fed because I didn't know better and she is top of her class and never sick!!
I really wanted to do this. This is my second and last child. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure that we can't do this. I just want to be me again so I can be the best mommy and wife I can be. I feel like an exhausted, sleep deprived dairy cow.
I'm crying as I write this. I know I'll get bashers. FUCK you guys and your sanctimonious bullshit. I'm posting this because I know there have got to be other mothers who have felt the way I feel right now.