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I get so sad when I see mothers openly breastfeeding in public.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I know it's stupid and irrational.

When I had ds I had such a hard time breastfeeding and became so overwhelmed I hated having him around me.  I was prolonging taking my bipolar medications so that I could bf for at least a week, but things were getting bad with my hormones, my mood, my blood pressure and the pressure of bf-ing that I decided to get a bottle and take my meds.

While my sister was fully supportive, my father told me "a real mother can feed her child the way nature intended, mother's instinct just takes over." My ex's mother told me I was terrible for not bf-ing and threatened to call cps on me because I wasn't, until my sister flipped on her and kicked her out of the room.  Even the nurse was really snotty because I asked for a bottle.  My sister ended up having to ask the charge nurse to come in to speak to her about the nurse's behavior. 

Having ds was a difficult experience and not a happy one at all. A huge portion of that was the pressure and feeling of failure regarding breastfeeding.

Now, whenever I see a woman happily bf-ing all those feelings come back plus envy.  I wish I could let it go, my son is healthy and happy now. Whether he was bf or ff really doesn't matter, but I missed that joy of bringing a baby into the world and bonding with them like other moms have.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2014 at 7:36 PM
Replies (21-22):
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Me too. I had a very similar situation with my son when he was born. I was barely producing anything and my son just kept screaming and both me and my hunny knew why it was because he was hungry. The nurse that we had was kinda he about it but the kicker was the fucking lactation nurse. She kept pushing and so did the nurse and my fiancé finally raises his voice to say give us formula! The lactation nurse was pissed and I said in the amount of pain I was in not even 24hrs after my c section at least he's getting fed bitch

Quoting Anonymous:

I cannot have more, it's a healthy risk 

Quoting Michaelsmom0522: Do you plan to have more kids? You could try again maybe?

My first experience wasn't great either but this time around I would like to try again.

by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:55 PM
I can't have anymore kids either. I almost died with my son because I lost too much blood. And my bp dropped during surgery
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