He and DD (now 6) use to be close. The gf came into the picture 2 years aago, and since then a lot has happened. She ended up slapping DD (then 4), and giving her the evil eye anytime she saw her.
We told fil this and he refused to say even a word to her so we made it a rule that our kids are not allowed around here. At all. He forgot all his grandkids birthdays (which he never did before), never cones around. Nothing. All DS wanted for his birthday was to go to dinner again (we use to go out every Friday with fil as a family weekend get together type thing). Fil said no unless gf could come. So a big fat no. DS spent his bday crying.
DD came to me today and said she misses grandpa and wishes "that mean lady" wasent around because she wants her grandpa back. She also said it hurts her heart that grandpa doesn't "want" her anymore.
I'm at a loss for words on how to respond to her. She's brought it up before but she usually cries. Thus time she didn't and when she was done talking said "I didn't cry this time, there's no point." :(
Dh has talked to him many many many times in the last two years and we have decided that once we move we won't allow him in the kids life anymore.