He is 21, she is 20. They have been together 2 years. Yes he works, he goes to college and he pays rent.
We have had the samw rules for his older siblings, unless married, no significant other stays the night. Her parents not only allow him to stay the night, but in the same room, same bed. And she shares a room with her 13 year old sister!
So the result of us not allowing her to stay the night, is that he is never here. Today we had a cookout, we played badminton, volleyball. We took a boat ride. They came over for 10 minutes for him to get fresh clothes, said happy mothers day, and he left.
I don't know if I am hurt or angry!
***after reading all of the replies I would like to say that I now more then ever stand by my rules. DS pays 200 a month, that covers his cell phone bill, and some food. We have paid for his college 100%. I understand I can not have it both ways, apparently, if he cant shack up with her in my home, he doesn't want to be here at all. That is his choice. I have rules, other children in the home and I wont bend on a rule all the other children follow. His name is not on my house, he does not pay the bills. He rents a room in my home, which comes with rules.