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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I refuse to buy my child ANYTHING that I consider a want!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies

When DD was 9, she threw seveal tanturm style fits about how I dont provide for her, she never has the food she like, name brand clothes, or anything and I am a horrible parent because of it. This was not my child. The child I raised would never have said these things to me! So after talking with Dh we came up with a plan of attack!

1. I ONLY buy the things she needs. basic clothing for school, hygiene products and of course food.

- as far as clothes she gets 1 new pair of basic tennis shoes, and one pair of basic dress shoes every fall and spring. I will only purchase a few pairs of pants/shorts/skirts and dresses and shirts each season as well.

She likes a certain kind of toothpaste and the family as a whole doesnt like it, so she must buy it herself.. stuff like that

2. She must buy everything extra herself. this includes extra clothing, supplies that are diffrent or extra from what I purchase, or sugary snacks.

3. The money neccesary for these purchases will NOT come from Dh or I!  (she has had a list of items to do each week for the neighbor since she was 7 and gets paid $15 a week)- so she has the money!!!

4. she is expected to save some of the money every month whether it be 10 dollar or more!

that was a year ago! and what I diffrence It has made!!! DD went from being a spoiled brat to a respectful please and thank you saying child!  Dh and I are thinking of slacking off on this approach but I cant bring myself to do it! What if she backslides and resumes bratty behavior again? Not sure I could handle that..

thoughts???

Posted by Anonymous on May. 12, 2014 at 8:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thetrollcat
by Meow on May. 12, 2014 at 8:24 AM
2 moms liked this

uh well I mean I dig being angry she is acting like a brat and all but this is just too much. Why not focus reward instead of punishment? To be honest with you, this was my first mistake when my oldest hit pre-teen years. I was so focused on punishment it made things worse. Reversing to make them earn it by having good behaviors, better action, choices seems to be more effective.

Punishment should be consquences resulted from an action at the time it happens.

But hey if you wanna go this around while she is only nine, *shurgs*

Your not going to get any real good results. Maybe now but eventually she is going to rebel

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on May. 12, 2014 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Not what I'd do, but my kid is happy with brightly colored Wal Mart clothes.

notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:25 AM
Wow
tanyainmizzou
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:26 AM
3 moms liked this

How sad.


Just sad.

UxorQuodMatris.
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:26 AM
5 moms liked this
I think you sound a tad insane.
crysiann
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this
I completely agree with this. My ss is 11, through positive reinforcement, we've never had to go to such extremes.

Quoting thetrollcat:

uh well I mean I dig being angry she is acting like a brat and all but this is just too much. Why not focus reward instead of punishment? To be honest with you, this was my first mistake when my oldest hit pre-teen years. I was so focused on punishment it made things worse. Reversing to make them earn it by having good behaviors, better action, choices seems to be more effective.

Punishment should be consquences resulted from an action at the time it happens.

But hey if you wanna go this around while she is only nine, *shurgs*

Your not going to get any real good results. Maybe now but eventually she is going to rebel

Pink.Frosting
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:29 AM
3 moms liked this
She's going to need therapy....
rockchickmom
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow. That's great. Good work. Not many parents stick to that kinda parenting. Way to go. Lol. I wish a lot more parents did that. So many ungrateful brats out there including my nieces. One had a birthday not long ago as soon as I walked in the door she said where's my present, I gave her a card and she ripped it opened and said wheres my money and dropped my HOMEMADE Card of the floor like rubbish. So she got nothing. I was disgusted in her behaviour.. I refused to raise an ungrateful brat who wants wants wants..

EntrepeneurMom
by The Major on May. 12, 2014 at 8:32 AM
I think this was a great idea....but punishing her for a whole year for being a normal child and saying something thoughtless???? Come on, you've never, as an adult, something over dramatic that you didn't mean?
lovemymini
by Emerald Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Glad my kid doesn't act like a brat and can still get what he wants.  

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