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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What Moron holds their kids back in school?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 511 Replies

 

If you have held your kids back or know of someone who holds their kids back in school please let me know why, I really want to know other opinions about this

I am a step mom  to two children...My SD is 9 and in second grade, My bio son is 7 and in second grade as well. My step son is 6 and has never been in school. He will start kinder in the fall and will be a 7 year old kindergartner! When both children graduate high school they will both be 19 years old...and that's if they graduate on time. There is no room for error because if they do fail...they'll be 20.

The bio mom is holding her kids back because she feels "they aren't ready". I honestly think she's holding them back because SHE isn't ready. I'm not saying this to brag or put BM mom down, but her highest education level that she has reached is a HS diploma. I am a  social worker and I think that if she is going to make a decision like that, she should get a professional opinion first. It is a know fact that children learn and absorb things more before age six. I am certain that when our child starts school there will be some concerns from the teacher and other staff from the school. He's is 6 and doesn't know how to read or write letters. He is also very immature. He has the social skills of a 3 year old.

We have already been to court and nothing has been done besides us have joint 50/50 placement of the children. The state that we live in only mandates that children over 6 be enrolled in school and SS was only 5 at the beginning od the school year.

 

Update: In my profession I do a lot of  referrals for programs that young children are eligible for.  I don't think its wise to turn down help when it is available. I dont think the BM is looking out for her child's best interest, I do however believe she has ulterior motives for keeping her child home. I am concerned that her children will be older than most of her classmates. Its known that being older than most of your peers is one of the top reasons students drop out of high school. I feel that as their parents we should do every thing in our power to help them succeed in life. Holding them back, does not, It does just that...hold them back.

 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 12, 2014 at 10:26 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 12, 2014 at 10:28 AM
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if there's nothing you can do about it there's no point in stressing about it. He'll be fine. Its kindergarten isn't challenging him enough he will wind up tested and they will move him forward into 1st grade if that's where he needs to be.
graciesnycmama
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 10:29 AM
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Have you thought that it might be at the suggestion of the teacher, to hold the older one back a grade?

Some boys are slower to socially mature than others.

My brother was held back in second grade and it was a huge help to him. After that, he did fine academically.
notuseless
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2014 at 10:29 AM
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My sd will repeat the 6th grade if she gets d's and f's because if she doesn't know the material then she will just struggle in the 7th grade.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 12, 2014 at 10:29 AM
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my SIL did this because her daughters bday is in December so she didn't want her to be behind. She wanted her to be ahead of the class so she started her in kindergarten a year late. So stupid IMO there are other kids born in December too ...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 12, 2014 at 10:30 AM
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If you have 50/50 custody, aren't you 50% responsible that the child has insufficient academic and social knowledge? 

I know of two people that held their children back: 1) It was highly recommended by the school and 2) one suffered from severe and undiagnosed ear infections, which contributed to diminished reading skills.

bottlesoup
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 10:31 AM
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The most popular reasons for holding children back are social skills or athletics. 

zacmacsmomm
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2014 at 10:31 AM
14 moms liked this

My son turned 6 shortly after Kindergarden.  He wasn't ready, plain and simple.  He was 19 when he graduated HS, he's now in college.  It's really not a big deal.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 12, 2014 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Dh held ss back in first grade because honestly he was not ready to go to second grade. He was 4 when he started kindergarten so he is still pretty much the same age as the other kids in his class and doing much better. I firmly believe it was the best thing for him, he has had nothing but a's and b's since being held back.
mantyangel
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 10:31 AM
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The emotional maturity of the child is the main reason kids are held back.  You mentioned he is very immature.  Holding him back might be beneficial in his case. Don't worry about it.  He is going to school and getting an education.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 12, 2014 at 10:32 AM
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They both were held back at their mother's choice. Instead of starting kindergarten at age five, she's enrolling them at age 6.  I would feel more comfortable if they were given the chance to start kindergarten on time and letting the teacher suggest that they be held back.

Quoting graciesnycmama: Have you thought that it might be at the suggestion of the teacher, to hold the older one back a grade? Some boys are slower to socially mature than others. My brother was held back in second grade and it was a huge help to him. After that, he did fine academically.

 

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