Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ETA*Should they just be forced to stop having children? What do You think should be done?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

This is just one of those post where I feel there is a problem and wanna talk about it , but of course--nothing can really be done :-) Just something,that from time to time,gets my hackles up.

I'm sure some will bash & Many will agree. Another post earlier,caused me to bring it up in reply & got me thinking about it all over again.

Ok, In Alaska, I knew a few people ,who constantly had me and a few family members and friends saying "WHY Does the state keep letting them have kids to just get taken away or abused etc...all over again?"  

#1 story -- this girl ,she's got 4 kids (last time I knew)

She's mentally disabled, but not to the point where people look at her and can SEE It, you gotta know her a little to catch on & it's not so bad that she can't find a man. However, it very ,very much affects her parenting and life. She got her first two taken away and the court said she wasn't mentally competent to care for children. Ok, you'd think it would make the state either force a tubal tie, regualar depo shots or IUD or something more than condoms or Pills that she can forget etc..  but nope...so she loses the first two kids for GOOD REASON and then gets knocked up again (( mind you--the 1st two came out with mental problems as well-much worse than hers,as she did drugs/drank while pregnant on top of the gentics)) and this baby comes out with problems as well. They don't take this child at birth, nope they say she has to do something wrong - AFTER the court taking two away and saying she was mentally incompetent to raise children!! So, she loses this one for neglect  and child endangerment. Gets proven unfit by the court.  Has another one and again this happens. Failure to thrive, mental and physical diabilities in the child again. Four babies.  State does nothing to make her stop having children.Doesn't take them at birth. Lets her keep them until something Happens to the child.  What happens when she leaves a baby or toddler with someone and they beat or rape or both? Or kills them? She leaves them with everyone. All kinds of SUPER Nasty druggies and creeps and men etc... 

#2 story-- Lady I know VERY Well. 5 kids. 5 different dads. She's got some VERY serious mental issues but isn't slow or anything. She's the type of mom where all five kids are dirty and stinky and never have any clothes that fit or look decent EVER . The toddler boys have on the oldest girls GIRLY shoes that are way too big and they always have a gazillion pets and the home is dirty and stinky and they do whatever they want and have foul mouths and all act like satan worshipers ( I mean that) they think it's funny.   Now--the problem.  The mom always has the newest high tech cell phones and her smokes and guitars and amps and her nice vehicle and she's always online and got all her gadgets. The kids always look HORRIBLE. Terrible messy hair and the kids on the bus make fun of them ( I know because my nephews and children ride on the bus with them :-(  )     she has actually given the kids over to the state while she couldn't care for them before and then  worked years to get them back and then repeated all the mistakes and then some.  She's on pills and never stopped. She always ,always,always  ignores them and talkes horrible about them. He gay friend is making it VERY Well known  he's interested in her 8 year old son and she laughs over it thinking it's funny.

It's horrible.


Story #3 Is almost exactly like #2.  Minus the drugs and add some knocking the kids around to it.

No joke.

#4 --    mom with a 10 year old boy a newborn twins--- she never took care of him and lets him around a ton of drugs and then has twins and makes him do ALLLLLL Of the care. ALL of it. EVERYthing. For her, the dad and the twins and himself. EVERYTHING. Runs the entire home himself. Poor kid. Ugh.

#5-- kids in a HORRIBLE home situation. Later on the dad blew his head off in the front room on the little girls birthday which happened to be fathers day that year and I'd been calling CPS like crazy and so had a few neighbors all summer long and they still didn't take the kids and then finally--the kids missed school 4 times in one week after missing almost 2 weeks of school in the first 3 months of school -- so they took them away FOR THAT !!!! 


My cousin--- tried for years to get pregnant. GREAT family life and income and home. Years of fertility treatments. Stopped them and finally got pregnant .GREAT Mom and family and support system. She's amazing. Her whole family has a history of MAJORLY brittle bones. Her and her family have a huge history of babies,toddlers and kids all having Broken bones. Her son gets a fractured arm at 5 months old and they wouldn't let her or her husband near him at the hospital and made her mom and dad stay with them for weeks afterwards while an investigation is being done.   

WTF ?

WHY do these people keep getting their kids given back to them?
WHY are they allowed to keep having more?  

WHEN will the parents who do one small thing or have a false accusation and get their kids taken away forever---stop having this happen to them  and the ones doing all this actually get them taken away like they should? I Don't understand

I just don't get it.

Not my place  to judge , I know. I just can't help but not be able to stand it anymore

 ETA* To those commenting on letting the government sterilize and take so much control etc...

I do agree, however, what about all those babies being born with numerous disabilities, just to be shoved into a world of misery and mistreatment? To further be shoved into foster care?  What about them & the extended family that it hurts? I guess there's just no win in these situations

Also - to sterilize is to Forever remove ANY and ALL chances of having a child. A hysterectomy etc... 

I never suggested anything of the sort :-)   

Tubal ties are undone all the time -very sucesfully. If the woman later on becomes more stable or whatever--untie them.  If she can't afford the $6000 to untie them,she probably can't afford a child either.

Also, I listed The shot and IUD as well :-) Please, don't single out one thing out of an entire list and huge long post . 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 12, 2014 at 12:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 12, 2014 at 12:14 PM

I don't get it either. DH's ex is the same way. 5 kids 4 men, the only reason two have the same dad is they have twins. Thankfully the state told her that since ALL of her kids are on pa and have been their whole lives that she needed to get her tubes tied or they would pull her pa. However her oldest who turns 13 today was raped by moms boyfriend and got pregnant, state took the baby. I'm pretty sure mom did it on purposeso she could have the benefits for another kid but we can't prove it. Her reruns had adhd medicine in their system at birth. SD lost 10 pounds in a year after mom took off with her in the middle of the night running from cps. SD has lived at 22 different addresses at 9 years old. The 11 months with us have been the longest she's lived in one place. Lucky for us we got custody and bm has monitored visitation. But she still has her four other kids. Since people truly don't deserve kids. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 12, 2014 at 12:18 PM
I have a very long CPS story. Short story is... My brothers x-gf had a baby 4 years ago, she abandoned him with me, her mom hates that I have him and not her. She stalks me in real life and calls CPS multiple times a month!!!

CPS has been very helpful to our family. They have helped with the adoption process and getting a bigger house. They have even helped with child care when I needed it. Our caseworker will now call and tell me the latest "reports" and sets up a time to come visit with me and the kids.

** I currently have a pending case against "grandma" for false reports!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't get it either. DH's ex is the same way. 5 kids 4 men, the only reason two have the same dad is they have twins. Thankfully the state told her that since ALL of her kids are on pa and have been their whole lives that she needed to get her tubes tied or they would pull her pa. However her oldest who turns 13 today was raped by moms boyfriend and got pregnant, state took the baby. I'm pretty sure mom did it on purposeso she could have the benefits for another kid but we can't prove it. Her reruns had adhd medicine in their system at birth. SD lost 10 pounds in a year after mom took off with her in the middle of the night running from cps. SD has lived at 22 different addresses at 9 years old. The 11 months with us have been the longest she's lived in one place. Lucky for us we got custody and bm has monitored visitation. But she still has her four other kids. Since people truly don't deserve kids. 

every single one of them ( that I mentioned ) is on PA. Alaska doesn't do anything about that at all and will let you adopt and foster even if you're on PA and I'm totally fine with THAT part---as it's horrible spendy to buy food and medical now-a-days and the government could change that and make EVERYTHING money-wise more simple and choses not to--so I don't have an issue with those who need  Pa getting it

none at all.

However---the twin thing-- I know twins with different dads :-)

2kids2dogs2cats
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:46 PM

What can any one person do?  I thought that it would be a good idea to offer women who have had their childeren removed from the home $10,ooo to get their tubes tied and was bashed all over the place for it!  It makes me sad, but you can't FORCE them to keep their legs closed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 12, 2014 at 12:51 PM

shakes head. I dont know and it makes me sad.

I have a friend on food stamps because she lost her job. I take her to the office when I can and we will sit there and shake our heads at what we see.

One time to women were talking 1 had 3 kids WITH her and I guess 2 in school, and the other had 1. Women 2 was saying how she was happy the Medicaid paid for her to get her tubes tied and women 1 responded "why would you do that? They pay you to have more kids"

I sware my head wiped around and my jaw hit the floor.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 12, 2014 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

$10,000 is a bit much. But I do agree with some of it, I think if you want to be on PA for so long (I dont know how long would be good) or you reach a curtain # of children when on PA, you should have to get your tubes tied.

Quoting 2kids2dogs2cats:

What can any one person do?  I thought that it would be a good idea to offer women who have had their childeren removed from the home $10,ooo to get their tubes tied and was bashed all over the place for it!  It makes me sad, but you can't FORCE them to keep their legs closed.


Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on May. 12, 2014 at 12:55 PM
You need to surround yourself with better people. It's bizarre that you know so many people like is.

To the point, it's a slippery slope to let the govt decide who should become parents.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2014 at 12:59 PM


Quoting Danesmommy1: You need to surround yourself with better people. It's bizarre that you know so many people like is. To the point, it's a slippery slope to let the govt decide who should become parents.

In the area of Alaska I had been living in at the time (( and I moved out of state two years ago for good reasons )

It doesn't matter how "good and clean" You live your own life,you'll know quite a bit of people who are like this. Simply, because you went to school with them and they grew up this way.  

2 of these people mentioned were family members that married into the family and the others were people I'd gone to school with and  knew but were no longer friends with---for good reason

happymommy1105
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:59 PM
To allow the.government that much say over a person's body is extremely dangerous
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2014 at 1:01 PM


Quoting happymommy1105: To allow the.government that much say over a person's body is extremely dangerous

I do agree, however, what about all those babies being born with numerous disabilities, just to be shoved into a world of misery and mistreatment? To further be shoved into foster care?  What about them & the extended family that it hurts? I guess there's just no win in these situations

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)