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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

updated people who have experience with kids who have ADHD

Posted by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:32 PM
  • 378 Replies
1 mom liked this
I need some advice badly. Please no bashing me or my situation in this thread. I'm seriously thinking I'm in over my head with my boyfriends son and I want to figure out how to help him.

He and I are on our own til Thurs night. His dad is out of town on business til then. He and I usually do pretty good together but I am rarely his primary caretaker. Except when it comes.to homework. He completely shuts down when I try to help him. I can explain things 100 different ways and he just gets mad and says I confuse him and refuses to listen or even try for me. His dad can explain something the same way 5 seconds later and he will get it and be perfectly fine. Well, now his dads not here to do that.

He had a bad day at school today. He flipped out when his teacher was explaining the homework, overturned his desk, threw everything out of it and basically had a fit then refused to get on the bus. He told the teacher he hated the way I help him with his homework, that my voice makes his brain go blank and that he wasn't doing homework til his dad got back. I had to go pick him up.

I need advice on how I can better help him with his homework. Especially math. He takes meds for ADHD but still has a hard time sometimes. I want to help him but I'm not sure how. I've got no experience whatsoever with with ADHD. Obviously he can't just joy do his homework til his dad comes home.

ETA: well, yesterday was a drastic.improvement. No issues at school whatsoever. He actually came home from school in an awesome mood,.smiling and laughing and talking about what a good day he had. He did his spelling homework pleasantly and fairly quickly. His math homework was a page of calculator problems...he did get a little irritated when I showed him which ones he missed (he tends to plug the wrong number into the calculator accidentally) but he cheered up pretty quickly after. He was actually mad I had to.work lol. He wanted me.to call in sick and watch a movie with him.... He must not hate me that much. Lol. I was all set to try methods yall had suggested and that I found online...but yesterday was a really good day and I didn't need to.really.so.much. I ended up giving him.back his tablet before heading to work as a reward for his good behavior. If today is good I will give him his exbox back and we will go to dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant since I'm off tonight
Update 2...So his daddy (my baby!!!) will be home in an hr or so. I'm getting ready to head up to how work to get him. The week was better after Monday. He did his spelling without a fight and his teacher sent him special "calculator" pages he could do with minimal help for math. Without the homework headaches, he and I actually had a good week.we lost power from 3 pm yesterday til.early this morning so he and I built a fort in the living room by.candle light and had a fun camp out together. So, all in all, the week was a success for our relationship if not 100% as far as homework/school goes. Thank you everyone for all your help. I plane to learn as much as I can in the coming months so I can he a good stepmom to him
by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 12, 2014 at 4:34 PM
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Sounds to me like this goes beyond the adhd. How is he feeling about his dad leaving? Is biomom in the picture at all? How long have you and dad been together?
corticosteroid
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2014 at 4:37 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh, there isn't enough popcorn in the world for this...

Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 4:39 PM
He usually lives with his biomom but had some issues at school she couldn't handle so he came here for the school year. He goes back to her after the summer.

He hates anyone helping him with homework bit his dad. When his dad is working days I have to try and help too if I'm not working because he doesn't get home from work til 7.

I've only been living with them for 2 weeks.

Quoting Anonymous: Sounds to me like this goes beyond the adhd. How is he feeling about his dad leaving? Is biomom in the picture at all? How long have you and dad been together?
Joie35
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2014 at 4:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm ignoring everything but honest advice so don't bother.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Oh, there isn't enough popcorn in the world for this...

Kriskash25
by Kristina on May. 12, 2014 at 4:40 PM
2 moms liked this

Sorry that sucks. I have ADD and a couple of my kids do too. We all drink coffee, to slow down mentally. So maybe a Latte or mocha. Things have to be physically drawn out for me (visual) I use a white board with my kids. Also people things must be explained quickly, most the time people don't talk quick enough to keep my attention. Also in school my most successful teachers were the ones that joked around a lot pulling me back in when I was getting bored.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 12, 2014 at 4:40 PM
1 mom liked this

maybe its not just ADHD my daughter has it while homework can end in tears and she gets fustrated and shuts down at times she never has become that violent . He could really be having a hard time with his dad being gone that makes things worse. With my daughter we take breaks in between when it starts to get fustrating and then go back to it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 12, 2014 at 4:41 PM
4 moms liked this
His routine probably kept him on track, you've only been there 2 weeks, so that's a huge change to him! I can't believe after you living there for 2 weeks his dad just left you with him..

Quoting Joie35: He usually lives with his biomom but had some issues at school she couldn't handle so he came here for the school year. He goes back to her after the summer.

He hates anyone helping him with homework bit his dad. When his dad is working days I have to try and help too if I'm not working because he doesn't get home from work til 7.

I've only been living with them for 2 weeks.

Quoting Anonymous: Sounds to me like this goes beyond the adhd. How is he feeling about his dad leaving? Is biomom in the picture at all? How long have you and dad been together?
TurtleMomma82
by Barbie on May. 12, 2014 at 4:41 PM
1 mom liked this

That sounds like more than just simply ADHD.  You said you just moved in? IMO, it sounds more like rebellion than ADHD.  

LilysMama719
by Emmy on May. 12, 2014 at 4:42 PM
That does not sound like an adhd issue to me. Is he in therapy for his rage? Flipping a desk at school is not typical adhd behavior, in my opinion.
Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on May. 12, 2014 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds to me that he just doesn't like or respect you. 

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