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How to I calm his fears, when I feel like Im going to throw up!!

Posted by on May. 15, 2014 at 8:48 PM
  • 18 Replies

Yes, I posted this before, but its getting closer and my son just threw me a whammy!! My son sees an orthopedic surgeon on Monday, but he is terrified to go!  His pediatrician is sending us to a new one because he old one basically threw his hands in the air and told us there was nothing else he could do, even though all he did was try one kind of leg brace and never see him again.

Here is a picture of his legs and feet, basically his feet resemble flippers, this is how he stands and walks, his one foot is almost completely turned around when he walks, and he is in pain all the time and very weak in the legs. He is holding his birthday present!

       

Tonight he asked me if he told me something would I be mad, and of course I told him I absolutly wouldnt be mad. He then proceeded to cry and say, "I dont want to go to the doctor, Im scared, what if they want to do surgery!" (he overheard the pediatrician say it might come to surgery!) I told him that daddy and mommy would never ever let them do anything without talking about it first, and talking to him about it, but Im freaking out on the inside too!! 

Im not letting him see me freaking out, but its incredibly hard to assure your child, when you want to throw up!

I handled his autism diagnosis better than this, its just the thought of him going to surgery that makes me want to cry!!

Any ideas of what I can to do reassure him, he really needs to go, so cancelling is not an option, any longer and he wont be able to walk! 

The closer his appt gets the more nervous I get and now he is terrified and doesnt want to go! I am going to barf!!
 


by on May. 15, 2014 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ahappymommy
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:53 PM

BUMP!

ecerka
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:54 PM
Oh momma, I can't imagine what you both are going thru. Maybe just let him know that no matter what He's told at this appointment, that it doesn't mean he HAS to have surgery. That you just are exploring all options.
T-Rentsmommy06
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
If they want to take that step, some docs (and working with kids they should be) are really good and will even take the kids around to see everything and become comfortable. But it is what you think might help or hinder the situation. I have always been straight up with me kids when they are injured, "this will hurt, I will be by your side, the doc will do this this and this" it works for us.
Bluerose1482
by Ruby Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:57 PM
2 moms liked this

First, reassure him.  It is normal and natural to feel scared.  Share a time that you were nervous about something with him.  

Just explain to him that, it isn't definate that he will need surgery.  Reassure him that you are just going to talk to the dr and that all the dr will do is explain what your options are and ultimately, you, dh and your  son will decide what should be done.  

Sorry momma.  It is a hard situation and that's all I have.

jabs54
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:58 PM

I'm sorry.  I guess I would try to calm his fears by telling him the truth...that IF he has surgery it will be to help him walk and feel less pain.  That surgery isn't fun but they will give him pain meds to help him through it.  That you will be there every step of the way to help him through it.   Good luck!    (((hugs)))

ahappymommy
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 8:58 PM

Im a nervous wreck and is worrying him self to death! We are quit the combination.  THe poor guy is already hurting so much, I think he is worried about more pain. I told him that no decisions would be made that day, but he is still worried. Poor guy!

Quoting ecerka: Oh momma, I can't imagine what you both are going thru. Maybe just let him know that no matter what He's told at this appointment, that it doesn't mean he HAS to have surgery. That you just are exploring all options.


ahappymommy
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 9:00 PM

Thats a good idea, his daddy and I can both share a time we where nervous with him, that migh help! Thank you!

Quoting Bluerose1482:

First, reassure him.  It is normal and natural to feel scared.  Share a time that you were nervous about something with him.  

Just explain to him that, it isn't definate that he will need surgery.  Reassure him that you are just going to talk to the dr and that all the dr will do is explain what your options are and ultimately, you, dh and your  son will decide what should be done.  

Sorry momma.  It is a hard situation and that's all I have.


FabAnonLife
by on May. 15, 2014 at 9:06 PM

Wow, I'm so sorry that you guys are going through that. Kids should never have to worry about stuff like that! I've never been through that so I cannot speak from experience. What I'd imagine myself doing first is reassuring him. Explain to them that no matter what, mommy and daddy will always be there and that we love him. Then explain that if he does need surgery, we will be right there with him and that he will be okay. They'll give him sleepy medication and he will sleep right through it. I was gona say maybe there is a stuffed animal or something that has a problem with its foot and needs surgery and you guys could bandage it up and he can keep it with him but then I saw your sons pic and realize he's probably too old for that, my kids are 2 and 4 so I'm probably thinking more about that age. Anyway, just reassure him. He needs to know you guys will always be there and that while it's okay to be scared, he will be okay. Good luck, we send our prayers 

ecerka
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 9:08 PM
Aww poor little guy... I really Hope all goes Well. Reassure him you'd never let them do anything that you with don't agree on. I know how much pain sucks. I've had 5 spinal cord surgeries. Let him read up on anything that the Dr's think they need to do. That way he'll understand what may happen. Good luck:)

Quoting ahappymommy:

Im a nervous wreck and is worrying him self to death! We are quit the combination.  THe poor guy is already hurting so much, I think he is worried about more pain. I told him that no decisions would be made that day, but he is still worried. Poor guy!

Quoting ecerka: Oh momma, I can't imagine what you both are going thru. Maybe just let him know that no matter what He's told at this appointment, that it doesn't mean he HAS to have surgery. That you just are exploring all options.

ahappymommy
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 9:17 PM

Actually, his is autistic and loves stuff toys, so that might actually work!

Quoting FabAnonLife:

Wow, I'm so sorry that you guys are going through that. Kids should never have to worry about stuff like that! I've never been through that so I cannot speak from experience. What I'd imagine myself doing first is reassuring him. Explain to them that no matter what, mommy and daddy will always be there and that we love him. Then explain that if he does need surgery, we will be right there with him and that he will be okay. They'll give him sleepy medication and he will sleep right through it. I was gona say maybe there is a stuffed animal or something that has a problem with its foot and needs surgery and you guys could bandage it up and he can keep it with him but then I saw your sons pic and realize he's probably too old for that, my kids are 2 and 4 so I'm probably thinking more about that age. Anyway, just reassure him. He needs to know you guys will always be there and that while it's okay to be scared, he will be okay. Good luck, we send our prayers 


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