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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

do you think step kids should call you mom?

Posted by on May. 23, 2014 at 12:02 PM
  • 280 Replies
My SS came with me and DH for a week.
He calls me mama. DH and I both explained to him kid version that S (not going to say her name for privacy) is his mom and I am Amanda, daddy's wife. He sometimes calls me bananda cause he can't pronounce my name, but most of the time mom or mama. This isn't the first one he's done this, but its more often now.
The ex wife and I finally after 3 years of her hating me, became friends a few months ago. I know she would freak out if she ever heard him call me mom.
On the side, she tells SS to call her boyfriend dad. But I don't want her getting the impression we are telling him to call me mom.
Do you think its the kids decision? Or to keep on telling him I'm not mom? I feel bad, and don't really know what to say. He is 4.
Every time I say, no my name is amanda. He says I call you mom.

I do not Mind if he calls me mom. Technically I kind of am. Step moms are another mother figure in kids lives. My DH and I never separate our kids. We say our kids. But I know BM would be upset and livid so I am trying to tell him I am amanda for her sake. And no, talking to her would not work
by on May. 23, 2014 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on May. 23, 2014 at 12:04 PM
2 moms liked this
I can only say that, were it me, I would be very upset if I heard that. But, why is she telling him to call her bf dad? I wouldn't do that either.
PoisonEyeV
by _ on May. 23, 2014 at 12:05 PM
12 moms liked this

I think you should leave him call you what he wants right now. He sounds young & doesn't understand just yet but saying mama isn't really such a bad thing.

BUTTTTTTT, I WOULD suggest maybe talking with the mom. Telling her what is going on. Letting her know you are trying to recorrect him and that you don't want things becoming weird. Let her know about it before he 'slips up' around her and unwanted issues arise. You know?

KendallsMommee
by Spoiled SAHM on May. 23, 2014 at 12:05 PM
My stepsons never called me Mom, but they were 8, 9, and 14 when I met their Dad, so it wasn't an issue.
AJmoon
by Silver Member on May. 23, 2014 at 12:06 PM
She hates my DH. She admitted to still have feelings unresolved for him, but they've been divorced 5 years. She for the longest time wouldn't let him call DH dad. Now she's finally getting over that, but is pressing him to call bf dad, and he does.

Quoting BrutalTruth: I can only say that, were it me, I would be very upset if I heard that. But, why is she telling him to call her bf dad? I wouldn't do that either.
shaye
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2014 at 12:08 PM
4 moms liked this
Whatever the child is comfortable with is what is ok. IMO
JackAttacks
by Angel on May. 23, 2014 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 i think its the kids choice. i would not do what bio mom is doign and try to force him to call BF "dad" but i also wouldnt ask him not to call you "mama". hes a very luck boy, he has 2 mamas! since you are already friends with biomom just have a talk about it "ds has started calling me "mama" ive tried correcting him several times but he insists on it. i realize this could potentially be hurtful to you so i wanted to let you know and talk about it together"

AJmoon
by Silver Member on May. 23, 2014 at 12:09 PM
DH and I want to explain to her, but I know shed have a fit.
She denied him visitation for years on and off and was horrible, u til DH kept taking her to court. Now he has a shit ton more visitation that she has to abide by or she gets put in jail next time he denies his visitation. So she finally started playing nice.
Do this would be icing on the cake if we said anything and she would insist we were telling SS to call me mom

Quoting PoisonEyeV:

I think you should leave him call you what he wants right now. He sounds young & doesn't understand just yet but saying mama isn't really such a bad thing.

BUTTTTTTT, I WOULD suggest maybe talking with the mom. Telling her what is going on. Letting her know you are trying to recorrect him and that you don't want things becoming weird. Let her know about it before he 'slips up' around her and unwanted issues arise. You know?

AbelsMommy01
by on May. 23, 2014 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it should be up to the kids. He loves you and wants to call you mom, let him. My son calls me Bobbob, cuz he thinks it's funny lol
KayelynnsMama
by Gold Member on May. 23, 2014 at 12:09 PM
5 moms liked this

When my stapdaughter was younger she would call me Mommy. Everytime she did, I would just tell her that no, I was not Mommy, I was Megan. She then started calling me Meggy. She is 6 now and still calls me Meggy. 

Maybe give him a nickname for him to call you? Other than that all you can do is keep reminding him that you're not mom.

BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on May. 23, 2014 at 12:09 PM
How heartless. I mean, they were married at some point, what a terrible thing to do to him. The whole step kod dynamic eludes me, honestly, I have zero experience with it. I imagine she will lose her shit if she hears him call you mom though, regardless of whatever she's doing with her bf.

Quoting AJmoon: She hates my DH. She admitted to still have feelings unresolved for him, but they've been divorced 5 years. She for the longest time wouldn't let him call DH dad. Now she's finally getting over that, but is pressing him to call bf dad, and he does.

Quoting BrutalTruth: I can only say that, were it me, I would be very upset if I heard that. But, why is she telling him to call her bf dad? I wouldn't do that either.
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