I can't get over the fact that in one of America's 50th best hospitals I had to deliver my baby all alone! I had to unwrap my baby's umbilical cord from her neck not once but 3 times!!! I'm traumatized by the lack of medical support I had! I feel like my uterus is falling out I'm so scared to go to my pp check up. I don't feel confident my obgyn can properly care for me. I don't want to see the dr that was sleeping while I was catching my baby & unwrapping the cord from her tiny neck.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? My dh just doesn't understand he thinks I should get over it but I just can't.
**** edit so I don't have to keep repeating myself!
I had been bouncing on the ball for 40 min the nurse had just came in to hook me up to the monitor. While on the monitor I notice the baby's heart rate kept going crazy very high then very low. I asked the nurse she said it was fine, I told her my contractions were getting much much closer together & stronger. She said it was normal! I asked when I would be checked to see how far dialated I was she said 2 hours! Then left the room! While still on the ball hanging onto the end of the bed I turn to dh inbetween contractions and on the verge of tears say "I was hoping to be holding our baby within two hours" he tells me everything will be ok. Another contraction comes & goes I feel lots of pressure thinking I just have to pee I stand up from the ball. My legs start to shake uncontrollably and I realize I can not walk. I attempt to climb on the bed on all 4's. I feel lots of pressure I reach my hand down and the bag of waters is buldging out of me, I keep pressing I feel the head. I tell dh to go get the nurse, he attempts to fiddle with the button I sternly say go get the nurse who had walked out of the room maybe 5 min prior to all this. While he's getting the nurse I attempt to get in a better position on the bed. While I'm turning from my all 4 position which was really knees & 1 arm because I was holding the baby in with the other hand. With my butt on the bed my left leg bent & my right leg under me I caught my daughter. My husband had just walked into the room followed by the nurse. As I unwrapped the cord I yelled for the shocked nurse to suction the airways. She yelled for help another nurse runs in the both stare at us. The water must have broken during my changing positions because it happened so fast almost like the gush of water helped the baby come right out. I was trying not to push but my body had other plans. So yes it's very possible to deliver a baby alone in a hospital. This was at Falmouth hospital in Falmouth MA. Dr Susan Anderegg was the Ob on call and while this happened at aprox 4:30-4:45 am she was sleeping! She came in to deliver the placenta & stitch me up about 10 min after. The nurses didnt even know the time of birth. They had to go back and guess based on when I got off the monitor. My due date was April 26, I delivered April 12. My last baby I was at the hospital 15 min before I delivered! They should have known I go fast! It was my 5th baby and smallest baby weighting 6lbs &10oz 18.5 inches long. My boys were 7lb 2 oz, 7lb 4oz, 7lb 6oz then my last was 7lbs 15oz!
I have put several calls in to the pcp & the director of the behavioral health dept at the practice I go to. Finally my physiatrist went to the director for me I should be getting an appointment soon. There's no way with my history of PTSD, dissociation, anxiety, depression & ppd I should have had to wait till now for a therapist my therapist left on thursdat feb 13 & my last apt was Monday feb 10. Almost 4 months since I have seen someone! I have seen only my psychiatrist twice and he just prescribes my Prozac.
I filled out the survey that the hospital sent me & I wrote down that the dr & nurses were not present for my birth I gave my contact info I'm hoping they contact me. I'm so overwhelmed by this. I have my pp check up this coming Thursday my daughter is 6 weeks old today.