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Re:Women should be more submissive .

Posted by on May. 26, 2014 at 3:31 AM
  • 64 Replies

Okay , I ran across this post and figured , Hey she made a post how she felt about the topic I should too . Well Here It is . 


If you missed it ... A women posted that basically if women were more submissive to their husband's there would be less divorce and blalalalala . 


Here's my take on the situation . And weither y'all agree with me or not . That's fine .... 


I honestly think there is TOO MANY women that are submissive to their husband's. I was with only 1 man in my lifetime and I am now going through a divorce. I can honestly say I walk away with no regrets. I made it known from the jump of our relationship that yea you can hold your grown .... But im going to do the same. We shared the Head of the household title. I knew when to step in and handle business just as he did. BEING SAID ! It wasnt submissive. We would come to agreements on things . But I always made it known that he does not have the upper hand on things . We are equal or im above you. No if and's or buts. Because my ex husband was a very manly man and how he grew up was like a big macho "oh hey im the man you listen to me" bs and If I allowed him to have full control of me I honestly believe he would have laid hands on me. 


I believe as women , We do love hard , but what we tend to forget. Although we love who we love to death, It is not always the case on the other end . I feel like women tend to stick around with the same men that hit, lie and cheat on them hoping they will change. 


I believe as women we need to hold to what we say. I feel like men get our love mistaken for weakness ( SOME ... THERE ARE SOME WONDERFUL MEN OUT THERE) .... But we all know there are those men where you give them a inch they take a mile...Kwim? 


I told my ex husband from the beginning of our relationship.... We can work through ANYTHING.... As long as you don't cheat , Nor place your hand's on me. Because I am a firm believer what is done in the dark will come to light sooner or later and once I do find out I will leave and never turn back.... I found out he cheated on a Friday night, Sent him packing and by Monday I was meeting with a lawyer. As women we are never helpless . I see so many case's where there is a women with so much love to give , And so much to offer a man .... But stuck with the same SOB that's constantly cheating.


I took care of my husband ... And I know I was a damn good wife.... That's why I can walk away with NO REGRETS because I know I played my role as a good wife .


Now that I voiced my opinion's . I would like to hear yours. What's your take on the situation? What's your outlook on thing's ? IN A RESPECTFULLY MANNER! I believe we are all grown and I would really like to have a honest discussion on this topic.

by on May. 26, 2014 at 3:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on May. 26, 2014 at 3:34 AM
I'm submissive. Is what works here. Me sharing the head of household status was too much. I love being submissive and knowing what is expected if me and that's what works for us.

Different things work for different people. It's not a one size fits all thing.
booaura
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2014 at 3:35 AM
2 moms liked this
If more women did what made them happy, and what worked for their husband and themselves, there would be less divorce. If people took committment more seriously, there would be less divorce. Being submissive vs not doesn't really have much to do with divorce.

My husband and I have a relationship that works for us, and works well. We are both happy and fulfilled. We don't fight for power, we don't try to label ourselves. We live as makes us happy, and always have. It was something we dicussed before we ever became serious as a couple.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 26, 2014 at 3:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Whats with this shit? We're equal. We work together and make decisions together. Thought that was the norm of a healthy relationship...? Apparently not on cafemom.
Bleacher-mom
by Gold Member on May. 26, 2014 at 3:38 AM
They both know when to lead, they both know when to follow and neither one feels like they need to compromise.

That's something my mother read and shared with me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2014 at 3:38 AM

Being submissive doesn't mean lying down and taking abuse. Being submissive means trusting your partner enough to allow him to have total control. Obviously, in each marriage, the extent of submission is different--for some, it's totally sexual, for some it's simply allowing the man to control finances, and for others, the man has the final say in basically everything. However, in a functional dominant/submissive relationship, not only does the woman have to fully trust the man, the man has to take the woman's well being into account as well. 

A woman who is abused is not submissive, she's the victim of abuse. 

In my own relationship, I tend to be the more dominant partner while my husband tends to be more submissive. It works for us. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 26, 2014 at 3:41 AM
1 mom liked this
I think where the problem lies is when people, men or women, don't want to feel like they are submissive so they take it too far and become disrespectful and not caring to the others opinions.
booaura
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2014 at 3:44 AM
The norm of a healthy relationship is doing what works for that particular relationship. There is no one size fits all.

Quoting Anonymous: Whats with this shit? We're equal. We work together and make decisions together. Thought that was the norm of a healthy relationship...? Apparently not on cafemom.
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Momma3220
by on May. 26, 2014 at 3:47 AM

I agree . But my husband's father was from mexico ... And the mexican way (Authentic) is that the man works wife stays home cooks ,cleans, takes care of kids and obeys her husband and his every wish's ... And when we 1st got together he had that mentality that every woman's going to put up with that and when he puts his foot down that's it ... basically the women shouldn't have an opinion ... and so I had to cut that shit out because im not that type of women at all . I'm actually very dominant in a way ... But I toned down alot for him and learned to reason with him ... But Now that I think back on things if I would have allowed him to be the upper hand he would have walked all over me and treated me like shit . 

Quoting Anonymous: I think where the problem lies is when people, men or women, don't want to feel like they are submissive so they take it too far and become disrespectful and not caring to the others opinions.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 26, 2014 at 3:49 AM

I'm definitely not submissive but I am a dedicated feminist and believe that women deserve more power than they already have around the world.

I don't argue that the rise in divorce is primarily on the shoulders of women who gained independence from men and stopped being submissive (as that woman asserted) but it's only because as more women gained financial independence from men they were able to GAIN THEIR FREEDOM from controlling, abusive or dismissive men and the more women realise that they can be free, the more divorces there will be.

It's not reflective of women having too much power, it's reflective of the dysfunctional institute of marriage in a patriarchal world.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 26, 2014 at 3:52 AM
2 moms liked this
If I was completely submissive right now we would be bankrupt and living on the street in a town I wasn't happy in to start with and my kids would be going to a school that I hate and I'd never see my family. Uh-uh. Not going to fly with me
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