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i heard my aunt is very sick. I have not spoken to her in YEARS

Posted by on May. 26, 2014 at 8:15 AM
  • 5 Replies
It's not that I don't care, but I have zero emotional ties to her. I am empathetic like I would be with anyone. But it doesn't effect me deeply because I don't know her anymore than I know any other stranger.

It's a constant conversation with my brother, he is big on family being family regardless. And I think you make choices of who you want in your life and blood matters little in who I want around.

Thoughts?
by on May. 26, 2014 at 8:15 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on May. 26, 2014 at 8:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd be upset for my family that was upset, if didn't know her at all, I wouldn't be sad about her death.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on May. 26, 2014 at 8:20 AM
Family IS important. That said, not all of us get to have awesome family members. Some people have to distance themselves from immediate family for a plethora of reasons. It's ok that you feel the way you do. It's also ok that your brother feels the way he does.
anjones09
by Ash on May. 26, 2014 at 8:21 AM
All you can do is be there for your family but you aren't obligated to feel bad about her death. Sorry for your loss.
Freela
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2014 at 8:23 AM

I would be respectful that it's a big deal for your brother and would have the normal compassion I feel for anyone who is very ill, but I would not be emotionally distraught over someone who I hadn't seen in years.  I also feel that family is important (and have maintained ties with people who I otherwise wouldn't have because they are family), but don't think that every family member is going to have a close emotional bond with me or vice versa.  I've had more distant family members die and have gone to the funerals and been emotionally supportive of those who were closer to them without necessarily feeling that personally affected myself.

Bubbie0809
by Dreaded hippie on May. 26, 2014 at 9:55 AM
I am empathetic because my brother is sad.

I have a weird view of family, because I have friends that I consider more family than my actual blood.

I just know when she passes away, it's going to be another issue. I don't associate with anyone from my father's side of the family. So I won't attend any services


Quoting Freela:

I would be respectful that it's a big deal for your brother and would have the normal compassion I feel for anyone who is very ill, but I would not be emotionally distraught over someone who I hadn't seen in years.  I also feel that family is important (and have maintained ties with people who I otherwise wouldn't have because they are family), but don't think that every family member is going to have a close emotional bond with me or vice versa.  I've had more distant family members die and have gone to the funerals and been emotionally supportive of those who were closer to them without necessarily feeling that personally affected myself.

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