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My DD's friend cuts

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I cannot just not do anything, but need some serious advice on how to approach and such. She cuts herself and is just an amazing kid and I have not a clue how to help. Thank you in advance.
(Posting and running, but hope I can get this started because I cannot just stand by and watch)
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:16 AM

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:17 AM
This. This was me as well.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:19 AM
How can I get her to stop? How do I tell her parents? My daughter is so worried:(

Quoting Anonymous:

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:19 AM
Same here.

Quoting Anonymous: This. This was me as well.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:21 AM
She is so sweet and I hope she let's me in. I was her softball coach for 4 years. How did you stop?

Quoting Anonymous: This. This was me as well.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:21 AM
As a parent of a teen who cuts I wouldn't be comfortable with someone else getting involved unless it was their job or it was someone very close to my family. Just make sure the parents know and let them handle it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:22 AM

I did about 5 years of therapy before I stopped completely. I don't have any advice on how to tell the parents, I only hope they are ready to help.

Quoting Anonymous: How can I get her to stop? How do I tell her parents? My daughter is so worried:(
Quoting Anonymous:

I can only speak from personal experience. I wanted people to notice. I wanted help. If you asked me about it, I would lie about it, but I really wanted someone to say they knew what I was doing and would help me. I hope that helps...


smalltownteddy
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:24 AM
Don't just stand there and watch. Be supportive of her, empowering, talk to her if she wants to talk. But think very carefully before you talk to her parents about it. Many times SI comes from pressure, body image, or feeling out of control. You don't know her relationship with her parents, what the causes are, or how she (or they) will react to being outed.

Just be compassionate and cautious. Look up info on SI and talk to DD about ways you can be supportive of her friend as a family. I self harmed for nine years and would have only gotten worse if my parents knew because they were 95% of the reasons behind it. I had one teacher who called me out on it, and he did so with compassion and love. He told me he knew, and didn't ask me to stop or pressure me in any way, just told me that he was there to talk to if I wanted. It was life-changing just to realize that someone cared enough to even notice. That was worth more to me than any therapist or intervention at the time. Just that he knew and wanted to tell me that I was going to make it through whatever it was that was hurting me, that I had people there that I didn't know even cared.

If you think you can be that person, be them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:24 AM
I'm scared for her. Her mom is messed up in the head ever since the divorce and Dad is a good guy, but he has a new girlfriend and has lost sight.
Flobrooks
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:24 AM

Talk to her parents immediately, they will have to get her psychiatric help or you will all be going to a funeral.

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