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I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:46 PM
  • 21 Replies

Well, I'm  trying to keep this as short and to the point as possible. I finally meet the man of my dreams.. To me it was to good to be true.. I had just finished separating and divorcing from a marriage of 12 years when i met him.. We are now together for about 7 months and had been living together for about the same amount of time. I did something I've never done which was moving in quick but that's not the issue. I have 3 kids and he has 2. Let me mention that everything is perfect except the most important. Discipline and views of raising kids. He's a single dad and has raised his kids a while alone his own way and me of course have raised mines with my ex-husband all those years.  We've had so many disagreements and communication issues when it comes to them and he has a lot of issues with my kids but don't point out the issues with his.. Therefore, i become defensive and he feels i shouldn't. I discipline his and he discipline mines. I don't have an issue with that. My issue is silly things my daughter does annoys him, making his kids a little more on the serious side than mine. I don't know if these issues and us being unhappy becomes of them is worth fighting for. I don't know what to do.. Should i stay and work it out and deal with some of these things or should i stay alone and continue to raise my kids alone. We do compromise on many things but when it comes to the kids it's disaster.. I understand it's a new thing for the both of us but i don't feel he is ready for my 3 being that his life is different than mine and i guess more used to doing things his way...


what do you think? Is it worth it to stay or just go and not feel like me and my family are a burden?

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rebecca7708
by Platinum Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:48 PM
What kinds of things are we talking about?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Why would you let a man that you've only been with for 7months discipline your children? I'm not a prude in anyway I just am very overprotective of my children I wouldn't live with him either until I got to know him a little more and see how he interacts with his kids a little more in depth. I'm sure you would've realized the issues right them and there if you had just waited it out and gave your relationship more time . Sorry I don't have any other advice then this not bashing just speaking from one mom to another.
DETERMINED26
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:32 PM
Your right but I figured if he let's me handle his kids I can do the same if we're supposed to be like a family. He doesn't miss treat her or his but it's different then my way and he complaints about things she do. Would u stay or go if your having trouble with compromising in that area or should I try to make it work. I appreciate honesty.

Quoting Anonymous: Why would you let a man that you've only been with for 7months discipline your children? I'm not a prude in anyway I just am very overprotective of my children I wouldn't live with him either until I got to know him a little more and see how he interacts with his kids a little more in depth. I'm sure you would've realized the issues right them and there if you had just waited it out and gave your relationship more time . Sorry I don't have any other advice then this not bashing just speaking from one mom to another.
DETERMINED26
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:37 PM
Like my daughter is very talkative and in the car he finds it annoying because his kids are more on the quiet side. She acts silly like singing and sometimes she'd a little loud but that's annoying to him. She does wine but all kids do. She's 5 yrs old so is his daughter

Quoting Rebecca7708: What kinds of things are we talking about?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:37 PM

I can't believe you moved in with this guy so soon when you have kids.  Stupid and selfish is what that was.  There was enough turmoil in all your lives without adding more change to it.  Move out and live independently and see this guy on the days your ex has the kids.

Heisenberg
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:39 PM

I'm sorry. You lost me when you said you moved in with this man with both of your kids. 

rgba
by Ruby Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:41 PM
Try counseling.
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HandMmom12
by Jody on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:42 PM

I find this post rather ironic.....

DETERMINED26
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:43 PM
I feel like moving. I wasn't trying to be selfish I moved pretty quickly but my kids moved in with us 4 months ago. There dad had them a while due to school so I thought based on what I've seen with his kids that it was gonna be ok with mine and now I'm having second thoughts. Good thing I have money saved up to leave and be by myself for a while. It was a stupid move but we all make mistakes at least once and learn from it.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can't believe you moved in with this guy so soon when you have kids.  Stupid and selfish is what that was.  There was enough turmoil in all your lives without adding more change to it.  Move out and live independently and see this guy on the days your ex has the kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:45 PM

Rule number 1. You have to be on the SAME page with your partner when disciplining the kids are concerned. This is true EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED let alone single. Children can create so much stress that even married people can split up because of disagreements with them! I do feel (and not judging you) that moving in too soon was not a good idea because it causes a bond between his kids and you and visa versa. What if it doesn't work out? Your kids and his kids will suffer the collaterial damage. If you really love this guy, I suggest you guys go to counseling. DO NOT get married until you are both 100 percent certain that this issue is getting resolution. As you know all 2nd marriages have a very high percentage rate of not making it. I have 3 bio and one step. I am going to be married 20 years next month so I do speak to you from experience having been there and done that. Good luck!

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