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i need serious help...

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:57 PM
  • 0 Replies

Me: how come u didn't ask me to go with u? i thought i was apart of the family... to be honest i was kind of hurt when i saw those...

Estranged father of mine:
Because this was Angels idea and we were there at Angels request....

Me:
but im still apart of the family, i guess i just thought u didn't want me in ur photos...

Estranged Father of mine:
Kind of like your wedding right..why wasn't I invited

Me: because u were out of town and u hadn't even met canyn, so i didn't know how u felt about the situation, we got married in a court house in one week's time, i was lucky that two of my sister in laws came

Estranged father of mine:
But all in all Angel did this for her mother for a Christmas present late and she didn't know you...this was Angels present to her mother

Me:
mickey is the same thing as me, one of your children, and u let him be in the photo but not me?

Estranged father of mine: Angel knows him and had spent a lot of time with him

Me:
i thought i would be important and maybe it would be nice to finally meet her, but regardless, im ur child and u claim im apart of the family but i sure as fuck don't feel like it, i feel worthless to you... hell it took me being locked up in a psych ward for u to come see me, and before that i only saw u when i was 6 months pregnant... (who is now three months old)

Estranged Father of mine:
That was your choice don't put it on me grow the f*** up

Me:
i want to feel important, i want to matter and i need u to communicate with me, im trying my best but i am going through a lot (being diagnosed with bipolar one disorder, just coming out of the psych ward, new car buying and money issues)

AND THEN:

his girlfriend decides to fb message me out of now where

Lois:
Kristina I'm sorry you were not invited. But this was my late Christmas present from angel. To blame dad is wrong. This is about my family's side.  If you want to be involved this is not the way. Your dad is not your yo-yo. He loves you an the baby. But you pity yourself way to much. Try setting up dinners, discussions about everybody. Joking , laughing, an leave the drama @ home. Learn to love an not demand. It just does not work.

Me:
im sorry i just want to be included with family things and feel like i matter and im important to you i need support and im trying so hard to adjsut to my new life and it's difficult so im am trying to involve dad as much as possible.  im trying with dad but i feel like im the only one making an effort, i call, i text and i facebook messaage him whenever possible, i drop all my plans just to even see him...

Lois:
Other wise your upsetting my house hold not cool. I don't do this to you so don't do it to me. Respect!!! Would love to meet family on positive note.  Well I had not seen angel since Christmas. An it's the life we have as truck drivers not much time for normal life. Stop the pitty game take what can be managed. Thats our life.

Me:
im not playing the "pity game" im adjusting to being bipolar, its very hard, and i know how the truck drivers life is, its the reason why i never really saw dad, but i always understood that it was his job... in the end i just need love and support just like any other human being

Lois:
My god Kristina an I'm pretty menopausal but I have to adjust by myself an concentrate on my home, kids, bills, etc. You choice an early family. Now grow up. I had angel @ 17 an help my mom pay bills, daddy ran. Like I said communicate an try to plan dinners , etc, etc

Me:
i tried planning but it never works out

Lois:
Well keep trying. We are never home.




So wat do u guys think of all this? i got upset because my father is in town and is "too busy" to meet his son in law and granddaughter. but i find out he takes pictures with his other family and includes his son but not me, his daughter and can attend his sons baseball game (he's six, i'm nineteen), but never once did he attend anything of mine throughout my life... he even has a house here and my little brother gets his picture hung up and a room, but i don't even have a picture on his wall or a room... idk what to think i guess i just feel hurt... i drop everything and i don't even have a licensed vehicle so my mother in law lets me borrow hers so i can see him even though she's against it... what should i do?

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:57 PM
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