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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Missing "school" as punishment?

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:16 AM
  • 16 Replies

Just to be clear, by "school" I mean preschool/daycare and punishment I mean natural consequences. 

My kids to go a preschool program that serves breakfast at 8am.  Kids that arrive after 8:05 go to the playroom, not the kitchen, and by 8:15 or so breakfast is packed up and over with. 

We usually arrive about 7:45.  My nearly 4 year old LOVES to eat at school (because they have crappy food.. pancakes on a stick, eggos...junk food).  

Lately he has been doing this "I can'ttttttttt" whiny thing whenever we ask him to do something.  He does not know how to put his socks on, can't manage to get his shoes on the right feet, puts his pants on backwards and then acts like he has no idea what were talking about.   This kid has been dressing independently for months! 

Today I noticed while I was brushing his teeth that his shirt was turned around and his shoes were on backwards. 

I told him he needed to go back to his room, fix his shirt (he looked at the tag, he knew what I was talking about) and put his shoes on the right feet. He whined that I needed to help him, I told him he was a big boy and knew how to get dressed and if he wanted to be at school in time for breakfast he needed to go fix his clothes now. 

I got out of the shower (because the baby peed on me! I usually shower before they get up), threw my clothes on and went to get everyone to the door and DS is sitting on his floor with his shoes on the wrong feet, his socks not even on anymore, his blue jeans on backwards and his fucking underpants on the outside of his jeans like a super hero!!!


I sent everyone else on to school with my wife. I told DS we would go when he was dressed.  He is currently face down on his bedroom floor having an epic tantrum and is mostly naked.  I told him I would not talk to him while he was acting like that and I would not fix his clothes for him so he could get to school on time.

Yes, ill feed him here before we go, but it won't be pancakes on a stick and sugar syrup yogurt in a tube!  Most likely he will have a bowl of oatmeal, since thats what I was going to prepare for myself anyway.

So... how bad is this?   Would it change your vote if this were a proper school aged child (1st grade or beyond?).  For the record, unless it was a test day or something with a rigid time cut off id probably do the same thing even if he were in 4rd grade, just with more concequences attached.  

by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mich2.0
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:21 AM
Lmao. I'd probably do the same but if he were school age he would be in deep doo doo for being late.
blueberry1
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:25 AM

If I did not help my 5 year old get ready for school when he was in one of those moods he just wouldn't make it there.  Given that he is not even 4 I think you are being tough on him, but I understand that I am a fairly lenient parent and many probably have different views.

catngabsmom
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:29 AM
2 moms liked this
If the breakfast part of preschool is optional, and he loves it so much, don't take him every day, make it a treat or reward for having a good morning all week and take him on Friday only. Morning tantrums and BS is not tolerated here, if he's only in preschool now, I would nip that one quickly!!
Also, it's the end of the school year, most kids are just mentally checked out and ready for it to be done at this point!!!!
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 9:52 AM

I like your way of handling it. The is a right way and a wrong way to be dressed. If you want to go take part in something going on you must be ready.

JoanahLee
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:00 PM

This is rare. Every few weeks he trys out being totally helpless for a couple days to see if it will get him attention and get him out of doing things. 

If I give in and help him we will deal with this shit for days.  I let him work it out on his own, let him see that I was not going to do it for him and that the consequences are not fun.  Hopefully he got it all out of his system. 

Quoting blueberry1:

If I did not help my 5 year old get ready for school when he was in one of those moods he just wouldn't make it there.  Given that he is not even 4 I think you are being tough on him, but I understand that I am a fairly lenient parent and many probably have different views.


JoanahLee
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:01 PM

Normally we all have to be at work by 8, so having him skip breakfast means we are late to work too.  I did not have anything this morning so it was not a big deal.  

Quoting catngabsmom: If the breakfast part of preschool is optional, and he loves it so much, don't take him every day, make it a treat or reward for having a good morning all week and take him on Friday only. Morning tantrums and BS is not tolerated here, if he's only in preschool now, I would nip that one quickly!! Also, it's the end of the school year, most kids are just mentally checked out and ready for it to be done at this point!!!!


themaurer7
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:07 PM
My now 11 yr old was a pain in the mornings getting ready for school about 2 yrs ago. She wouldn't get dressed or eat breakfast. I told her that I will not let her siblings be late because of her behavior. I took them to school and came back for her. By then she knew I was serious. I then made her write the note to the teacher explaining why she was late, because she would not listen. Never happened again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:09 PM
I'm more of a "pick your battles carefully" kinda mom. I would've never started a battle of wills with a 3 year old unless it was necessary for health and safety.
That said, if you have the luxury of staying home from work to try to out stubborn a toddler because you feel like making it an issue, go for it! You're the mom, parent how you'd like.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:12 PM
Going through this with my now 8 yo dd. At this point she has been told that if shendoes not get herself ready... she goes as is... however, she is sent, on time, either way.. otherwise, come bed time, she will still be sitting in the entry putting her shoes on...
AnHpuresugar
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 1:13 PM

I had a child that wouldn't change out of his pajamas before preschool.  I took him like that.  First and last time that happened.  I wouldn't have kept him home mainly because that is what he wanted.

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