She has been very secretive all of a sudden. We used to talk about things. I thought she might just need some space and I was okay with that
Until I heard her talking to her friend about a guy named "Otto" from school that she had been hanging out with. I thought I had heard the name before but couldnt think of where I had heard it
I was really really curious so I went through the year book looking at the signing pages and I found one that said I found one that said. "It was great getting to know you this year. You are a very smart girl!" Otto with a heart. I went through all the students like 2 times and no one was named Otto....i though "huh it must be a nickname"
But then the next day I just felt something was off. I didnt know why I just felt something was weird. I went through the yearbook again from page to page thinking I must have been missing something. On the last page I found something that shocked me. On the teachers page there was an Otto H____. This was my DDs science teacher!
I looked through some notes to see if he had written anything to me or my DD and there was a note that had handwriting that looks really similar. I wanted to compare it but DD has her yearbook and I dont want to ask her for it again for the third time she will know something is up.
I dont even know what to do. I dont know how to find out for sure if she is seeing him or not. I havent even told DH yet but I am going to tell him what I think is going on when he gets home. I mean I guess there could be someone else there nicknamed Otto but idk. The handwriting is really similar also from what I can remember.
I dont know how to even handle this. Of course I am freaking out about the idea that she might be seeing her teacher but what if I have it all wrong and I ruin the relationship I have with my DD? I mean after I tell DH we will talk to her I am just freaking out.
I am not even sure what I would do if it is true. I am not sure if it is illegal as the age of consent is 16 here (I am in Indiana) and it says nothing about teachers in the info I can find on it
UPDATE I talked to my dh. He agrees something is going on. We requested the phone records
I called my older dd to take my younger dd out to dinner so we can search some more. Dds phone has a broken screen and dh told her to leave it at home so we could do a warranty exchange. I didn't think she would leave it but she has been wanting a new phone. There were not many messages so I am pretty sure she has deleted messages. Unfortunaly we aren't going to be able to be able to get the phone record until maybe next week.
We found some stuff on her computer about her bf but nothing saying his name....she said they "hooked up" but I have no clue what exactly that means.
When they get home we are going to sit down and talk
UPDATE 2: We talked to DD. We sat her down and asked her about the heart in her year book next to Otto's name. I said that it was a very unique name and asked who it was. She got really nervous and kind of clammed up. I told her she could tell me anything and that I would listen. She then told me he was some guy on the swimming team. I wanted to feel relieved but I was 99.9% sure she was lying just by how she was talking. I asked her if there was any way we could meet him. This is when she really started making no sense. First he was on vacation for the whole summer than he moved and then she just started crying. DH calmly flipped to the teachers page and asked her if THIS was the Otto she was talking about. Her face went white and she said no it wasnt. I pulled out the note that he had written and compared it to the signature page and she started denying denying denying. First she said that it was just a joke, then her friend drew the heart, and then she drew the heart. We decided we needed a break because she was an emotional mess and we were not getting anywhere. We told her to go to her room and spend the night/ this morning to really think about what she wants to tell us. I told her that if she could introduce us to "Otto" the other student in the school and his parents we would apologize profusely and feel bad for the rest of our lives (I do not think this person exists but I would love to be wrong) and if not and she doesnt tell us the truth we would have no choice but to start an investigation with the school and the police. Sorry this is not a huge update but we wanted to give her time to work things through and to calm down and hopefully tell us the truth. She might continue to lie we know but her sobbing was not getting answers for us of any kind. If she cant be honest we will start an investigation. The phone company is probably not going to release the text message transcript unless there is a police investigation anyway. DD did admit to texting him. I do think it is pretty clear that she was talking to him outside of school but beyond that we still do not know what is going on.
ETA: Doing some more digging I found a number in her contacts under Otto.
Update: small update we found a lot of evidence and dd admitted to being with him sexually. We are meeting with our lawyer and the police. Will add more info later
Update again: the evidence we found was emails on a hidden email address and some hand written notes. They did talk about sexual contact. We met with our lawyer and went straight to the police. I am exhausted and heart broken. More later
Another update: The teacher has been taken into custody. We do not know all of what is going to happen. It is confirmed that they had a sexual relationship. We are not sure when it began or for how long. The police are investigating. I do not know much more than that at the moment meeting with lawyers later.
We started couseling yesterday. My DD didnt talk at all and didnt like it but she will be going every week and she tries to refuse the couselor will come here. We are just trying to work through all of this.