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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My DIL refuses to be a sahm now, causing major tension in their marriage :(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 635 Replies
4 moms liked this
My son and Dil have been married two years. Their little girl, my grand, is 7 months old. Before having a baby, they agreed she should have someone home for her and any other little ones until they were in school. Her and my son earn a similar amount, but he thought she should be the one to stay home and she agreed when she was pregnant.

She's been off work for 8 months and told him two weeks ago she hates being a sahm, she hates being on a tighter budget and is planning on going back to work when my grand is 1, because she'll stop breastfeeding then. Her old company even said they'd offer her a bonus to come back because they miss her.

My son is so upset that she's changing the plan on them. He likes having her home, knowing the baby is safe and happy, knowing that the house and logistics are planned out after he gets home from working 10 hour days. They're fighting about it a ton and it's making me sad. I feel like it's selfish of her to change the plan on her own so suddenly, and part of me feels like it's unnatural for a mom to not enjoy being home with her babe.

It's not my place to say anything, but biting my tongue is tiring. Any thoughts? Would you say anything to him or her?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:09 PM
291 moms liked this
A) Mind your business or ultimately you'll regret it
B) there's nothing selfish about wanting to be happy. She'll be a better mother if she's a happy mother


Edit: I can't believe how many people have liked this. Lol!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:10 PM
21 moms liked this

Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM ... if we could swing it I would be working and my husband would stay home instead.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:11 PM
48 moms liked this
Why can't he stay home?
KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:11 PM
34 moms liked this

She has a right to work. They can find safe, reliable care and not live on such a tight budget. A happy mom is better than a depressed mom.

1L2CMommy
by Silver Member on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:11 PM
12 moms liked this

What exactly would you say, and to whom?  If you tell him you agree with him, then you give him more amunition to fight with his wife, thus causing more problems.  If you tell her you disagree with her, you cause tension between you and her, her and him, and possibly put your relationship with all three of them in jeapordy.  Stay out of it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:11 PM
22 moms liked this
Stay out of it. If he feels it's so important for a parent to be home perhaps he should become a SAHD.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:12 PM
4 moms liked this

Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. I think she should have discussed things with him before making a final decision, however your son also needs to take her feelings into consideration. 

amandajoy21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:12 PM
7 moms liked this
It is their problem not yours. I know it hurts to see them fight, but if she truly unhappy shouldn't your son support her being happy too. Maybe there is a compromise to be made like maybe she only works part time or an opposite shift from your son so someone is home with the baby. Depending on what she does she may even be able to work from home which will allow her to be there and earn extra cash.
eztwins
by Gold Member on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:12 PM
6 moms liked this
One keep biting that tongue!!!

Secondly it's not selfish on her part. If it's not for her it's not for her. If it's that important to your son and they make similar maybe he should stay home.
MyCaptain
by Horror queen on Jun. 11, 2014 at 1:12 PM
6 moms liked this
Mind your own business. Not everyone loves being a SAHM.
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