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Could you deal with something like this?????

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Be honest


Could you handle your first and only child being born the same day your mom died just nine years later?

How would you handle birthdays?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2014 at 9:51 PM
Replies (21-30):
donnag013
by Gold Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:08 PM

It sounds like you might have PTSD. This is a REAL thing that you need treatment for so that you can move on and be healthy for you and your children

Quoting Anonymous: I wish I could do that but I remember date what day it was and time and how it all happened.
Quoting Cymbeline:

I don't remember deathdays.

I've lost loved ones, and can't remember a single day of death.


FoxFire363
by Ruby Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:09 PM
I would be able to handle it well, but I'm not close to my mother. I feel sorry for her. Even if I were, I would probably think of it as a day that signifies the passages of life, and how one generation's daughters become the next generation's mothers.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:10 PM
I'm on meds and gonna see how they work come next week. I have tried everything I've wrote all my feelings out and set it on fire to let go and it didn't work. I've read a book about grieving hoping it would give me tips but nothing. I keep praying each year that it will get easier but it seems to get harder. Thank you I hope that the meds help and that I can push thru again.

Quoting RayneofTerror:

maybe a psychologist could be of help? you may need some medication to help you over the hump of depression. i take medication for my anxiety and it has made a world of difference from me. i sure wish i could give you a hug. every one grieves on their own timeline. maybe look for an online support group? 

Quoting Anonymous: I have and none are able to help or they just don't understand why after 14 years I still feel like I do. I can't even handle Mother's Day. Thank you

Quoting RayneofTerror:

have you thought about seeing a grief councilor? they can be so very helpful. :) i'm sorry you are hurting. 

Quoting Anonymous: I'm hoping one day I can do that. It's a battle everyday to be happy and not to cry.

Quoting corticosteroid:

My middle child was born on the same day my father passed away.  We celebrate my daughter's birthday as her birthday ONLY.  We celebrate my father's life and passing on HIS birthday.  That's been working fine for us.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:11 PM

I would be happy for my child and celebrate their life but always have my mother in my heart and thinking of her. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:12 PM
I do have PTSD but no one believes that it's from her passing they all think its from my exdh. I've tried telling them his absue doesn't bother me and have let that go but I can't let her passing go it sucks so bad

Quoting donnag013:

It sounds like you might have PTSD. This is a REAL thing that you need treatment for so that you can move on and be healthy for you and your children

Quoting Anonymous: I wish I could do that but I remember date what day it was and time and how it all happened.

Quoting Cymbeline:

I don't remember deathdays.

I've lost loved ones, and can't remember a single day of death.

RayneofTerror
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:13 PM
1 mom liked this

i am truly sorry. if you ever need an ear, i've got one :D 

Quoting Anonymous: I'm on meds and gonna see how they work come next week. I have tried everything I've wrote all my feelings out and set it on fire to let go and it didn't work. I've read a book about grieving hoping it would give me tips but nothing. I keep praying each year that it will get easier but it seems to get harder. Thank you I hope that the meds help and that I can push thru again.
Quoting RayneofTerror:

maybe a psychologist could be of help? you may need some medication to help you over the hump of depression. i take medication for my anxiety and it has made a world of difference from me. i sure wish i could give you a hug. every one grieves on their own timeline. maybe look for an online support group? 

Quoting Anonymous: I have and none are able to help or they just don't understand why after 14 years I still feel like I do. I can't even handle Mother's Day. Thank you
Quoting RayneofTerror:

have you thought about seeing a grief councilor? they can be so very helpful. :) i'm sorry you are hurting. 

Quoting Anonymous: I'm hoping one day I can do that. It's a battle everyday to be happy and not to cry.
Quoting corticosteroid:

My middle child was born on the same day my father passed away.  We celebrate my daughter's birthday as her birthday ONLY.  We celebrate my father's life and passing on HIS birthday.  That's been working fine for us.





----------------------------------------------------------

i'm experiencing Deja Moo: The feeling that i've heard this bullplop before. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:13 PM

It would be the day of exchange of souls.

ZamilyMom
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:15 PM

 I hope I'd be able to accept that as the circle of life...someone dies and another is born. 

My DD was born on September 11.  Right now she is too young to understand the significance of the date (although she has noticed everyone wears red, white and blue on her birthday every year).  In another year or two she will learn about this tragic event, but I will always show joy on this date for the precious, beautiful little girl that came into the world!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:16 PM

sorry.... I dont see why that would bother anyone.  But maybe Im just more of an optimist than pessimist.

A child is a wonderful gift. 


Do you have a faith of any kind?  A belife in something greater?  Why not look at this as a gift FROM YOUR MOTHER.  She, where ever she is, probably knows that that particular day is hard for you and has tried to help ease that pain with a way to celebrate the day.  This child is part of her......... it has 1/4 her dna (in theory).  

Why not look at the good in life instead of focusing on the bad?????  Wouldnt she want that for you?  Dont you think that is a MUCH better way to honor her memory than to have a negative view of your own child's birthday???


Quoting Anonymous: Yes really
Quoting Anonymous: Really????


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:16 PM
That's how I try to think of it because if I didn't have him I doubt I would be on here right now. I also believe she picked me as his mother due to his issues and she knew I would fight till I got the right answers. He has given me looks and talked about things only I or her would know.

Quoting Anonymous:

It would be the day of exchange of souls.

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