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My husband doesn't need to see your boobs...

Posted by Anonymous
  • 352 Replies
13 moms liked this

I can’t believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe I used the word boobs in the title of this post.

I got enough purity lessons in high school to invoke a gag reflex any time I heard the word modesty. I remember wanting to crawl out of my skin when my Bible school teachers discussed appropriate *touching*. Ugh, that still makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little.

Growing up, my father carefully examined everything I wore out of the house. There was a stack of clothes in his closet that I was never allowed to wear, even if I had just ripped the $54.99 tag off. If it was too short, too tight, too low-cut, or too anything, it went in the pile in his closet.

Once I came home with this beautiful pair of khaki-colored stretch pants. The making of such a thing should be a sin to begin with, but I loved them all the same. I wore them out of the house one time, felt super hott {yes, with two ts} and into Dad’s closet they went.

Being the insightful teenager I was, I decided my father clearly didn’t want me to be happy. So I snuck into his closet, grabbed the pants, and double layered them with jeans on top. Once at school, I went into the bathroom and shed the outer layer, leaving my khaki stretch pants and all my glory to be seen.

On the way to my first class, after three Dang, girl! comments from {ahem} fine, upstanding young men, I realized why Dad had hidden those suckers away.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever confessed this to him. Hey, Daddy—ummm, sorry.


I’m not writing to tell all the teenage girls to respect their bodies. It’s a must, but plenty of people are saying that.

I’m not writing to chastise you for posting your bikini pics from your lake outing. I suppose we all have enough criticism via blog spaces.

But I am writing to share the perspective of a woman who is fighting for her marriage. And for that reason, I want to tell you that I don’t need my husband to see your boobs.

If I was skinny with rock-hard abs and legs from here to Mexico, I’d want to take lots of pictures of myself. Mostly naked. I would want to post them with a nice filter on Instagram, and share them with whoever might see.

By the grace of God I’m forever bound to the granny tankini with a built-in skirt. File that away with #thingsIneverthoughtI’dsay.

Anyways, what I’m saying is I don’t fault you. I don’t blame you for being confident enough to let the world see how good you look in front of the waves with your coozie and ballcap and barely anything else.

But I want to tell you that it’s a stumbling block in our marriage.

When I scroll through my news feed, my thumb moves in a continuous circular motion until something catches my eye and I want to look closer. And then I tap on the picture and make that little swipe with my thumb and pointer finger so I can zoom in just as close as I can to capture all the details.

I’m especially bad about this when there is a line of bathing suits in the pic. AND I’M A GIRL.

Mostly I’m looking at your legs asking myself, How are there seriously people without cellulite????

And then I continue scrolling through my feed until something else seems interesting.

I doubt my husband is so lucky. Actually, I know it’s next to impossible to take in images like those and erase them from his mind. Because our men are much less emotional and are much more visual. And as quickly as I can forget your picture, it is filed away in his mind, ready to be pulled back out whenever he so chooses.

Again, I am not faulting you. And by no means am I faulting him. This man of mine diverts his eyes from whatever questionable images flash on the screen before him. But sometimes the temptation is too much.

After Memorial Day, I noticed so much skin on social media that I half-yelled a warning to him as I ran out the door one morning. It’s summertime, honey! Beware the beach pics and half nude girls on Instagram! And like that, he was in solitary confinement from all virtual community for the next two days.

Protecting his eyes, protecting his heart.

I know you don’t mean anything by it. But I need to share one more thing with you.

When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will linger over your picture. I worry how he will compare me to you.

As I wrap myself into his arms at night, I wonder if he is seeing you there instead of my mess of a body left over from pregnancy. I wonder if he thinks I’m lazy and that I don’t take good care of myself. I wonder if he wishes I looked more like you than who I really am.

And then the insecurity monster comes back to bite at our relationship again…me, begging for affirmation, and him tiring from saying the same thing over and over.

So, I get it. You’re on vacation and you want people to know. You’re hanging out with your girlfriends and want to remember the moment. You had so much fun at the lake and you love your new *modest* bathing suit.

Can I say it one more time? I’m not judging you.

But would you, could you, keep your boobs out of my marriage? You can have your memories, and we can have our sacred hearts. And we can all get along in beautiful harmony.

Thanks, love. I think we’ll all be better for it.


Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:29 PM
2 moms liked this

tldr......but what I did......suck it up buttercup 

by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:30 PM
6 moms liked this

too long, couldnt get thru it

by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:31 PM
6 moms liked this
Uh. This was long. I've been drinking. Not reading this.
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:31 PM
55 moms liked this

What an insecure twit. The whole world doesn't need to cover up because she's not secure in herself or her marriage. If she doesn't trust her husband, that's her problem.

Why are they even on social media if this bothers her so much? Seems like a pretty obvious solution, and much easier than insisting everyone else should be wearking a burka lest her husband see them and make her feeeeeeel bad. 

by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this

me too.:-(

Quoting ladyvamp5489:

too long, couldnt get thru it

by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:34 PM
8 moms liked this

either her husband is the kind of weirdo who jerks it to social media posts all the time or theyre just so sexually repressed that it's gone past being jealous of porn and gone to being jealous of any person with a body better than hers who isn't covering it up. sad. 

by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:34 PM
6 moms liked this
So women should have to keep it covered because her dh might like it and get a woody?

How about her dh not be a perv
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:34 PM
I was about to applaud you for great writing, but then noticed it isn't you.
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:34 PM
2 moms liked this
All I'm reading from that is the writer is insecure and placing blame on the wrong thing. Maybe I'm getting it wrong though...
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:35 PM
4 moms liked this

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