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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It's NOT selfishness, she was ill!

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:36 PM
  • 240 Replies
20 moms liked this
It isn't selfishness that causes a person to commit suicide, so can we all just PLEASE stop saying that suicide is selfish? I lost a very good friend this week to an intentional overdose. She had breast cancer in 2002. She had a double mastectomy. She then went through chemo and radiation. Besides my Father, I have never seen another person that ill in my life. Just like my dad, she had to stop treatment several times to build back up enough to be able to take another treatment. She told me in 2003 if the cancer came back, she would die before going through chemo and radiation again. 2 months ago the doctor discovered it was back...in her lungs this time(she only told her husband and adult child). She called me last week and told me where to find some letters she had written for family and friends (in case anything happened to her) . She was so upbeat and normal that I had no reason to think anything was out of the ordinary. We have known eachother almost 30 years and she has always given me info like this (in case of emergency kind of stuff). Tuesday morning she woke up, made her husband a big breakfast and sent him off to work. She took a bath and put on her makeup and her favorite dress, then took 2 bottles of sedatives and fell asleep permanently. When I found out she had developed lung cancer, all my questions were answered. Yesterday at the memorial service I walked into the kitchenette to get some coffee and overheard one of her neighbors talking about "what a horribly selfish thing to do". I walked out before I did something like measure that ladies neck with my hands! I think it's selfish to expect people to endure things like cancer (and many other issues) just so we can have them with us a little longer. I also think we should stop judging what WE think others should or should not do. Every person has the right to live and die on their own terms. I will forever miss Elise and am so happy I had her in my life. Even in his pain, her husband said he didn't blame her..but her neighbor does blame her. Unfreakingbelievable! This doesn't portray the circumstances of most suicides but the sentiments remain the same. PLEASE do not use this as an opportunity to bash my dead friend or her family...I won't respond because I will have nothing kind to say.
by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:39 PM
4 moms liked this
I am sorry for your loss and glad that Elise is at peace. Hugs.
witzandglitz
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:40 PM
Thanks..she was so much fun!

Quoting Lunarprancer: I am sorry for your loss and glad that Elise is at peace. Hugs.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:40 PM
Thank you :)

Quoting witzandglitz: I am so sorry for your loss.
CrossStitchMum
by Platinum Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this
My sisters mother in law refused treatment when her cancer came back and people have trash talked her saying she basically committed suicide by refusing chemo and radium.

I'm so sorry for your loss mama :(
abbysmom12913
by Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally agree with you. My grandfather took his own life at 63 2 years ago. He had lung cancer plus copd. It was spreading to his bones n other organs. He was consistently in pain. He refused chemo n radiation they said it prob wouldnt work anyway. Honestly i dont blame him he was in such sever pain n could barley breathe .
hyper_bunny
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I can definitely understand why age did it. Poor thing.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:43 PM
Exactly. If your quality of life is so poor...it seems like people would understand.

Quoting abbysmom12913: I totally agree with you. My grandfather took his own life at 63 2 years ago. He had lung cancer plus copd. It was spreading to his bones n other organs. He was consistently in pain. He refused chemo n radiation they said it prob wouldnt work anyway. Honestly i dont blame him he was in such sever pain n could barley breathe .
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry for your loss.
Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Jun. 14, 2014 at 5:43 PM
How dare people be like that!

Quoting CrossStitchMum: My sisters mother in law refused treatment when her cancer came back and people have trash talked her saying she basically committed suicide by refusing chemo and radium.

I'm so sorry for your loss mama :(
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