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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you talk to the teacher about this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 29 Replies
My dd is done with school, but im wondering if I should talk to next years teacher about this or if this is one of those "oh well suck it up, thats life" moments.

I am a single mom. Dds father has never been around because he was abusive to me while pregnant and wanted me and my dd to die. It was like a light switch flipped when I found out I was pregnant. I later found out he has mental issues. Anyways, the end of this year at school they were learning about dads in lieu of fathers day. Her teacher knew she didnt have a dad. She was the only child in her class who doesnt have a dad and she felt very embarrassed and left out.

Anyways, since then its caused her to ask a lot of questions and I can tell shes very sad that she doesnt have a dad. Ive explained things to her about how all families are different and she has an uncle and a papa who love her to the moon and are male figures in her life.

She knows today is fathers day and I heard her singing the "fathers day" songs they learned in school and she was crying. Which made me cry. But I pulled myself together and talked to her. We replaced the word "daddy" with papa and she was able to sing her songs to her papa. But I can tell shes still sad.

Do you think you would mention this to next years teacher and maybe they can include papas or uncles in their class discussions for fathers day next year? Im not sure if this is overstepping but I see how hurt my dd is and it kills me. She does have an appointment with a child therapist to talk about this. Its just a couple weeks away.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hoffland87
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:23 PM
Yes I would so sorry this has happened to u both
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:24 PM
Did you post something about your dd not too long ago?
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:25 PM

 My nephews lost their mother several years ago, and every year their teachers have helped them make items for me and/or my mom.

You might want to consider finding out what day they plan to do the Father's Day celebration and keep your daughter home.

CafeMom Tickers
MicheleJM
by Ruby Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I probably wouldn't. Your dd is always going to hear about dads and fathers day. Maybe she can address cards to her uncles and explain to the teacher that they act like fathers to her. In other words teach dd that she herself can educate the teacher about papas and uncles kwim? On another note..did my kids get out of school early or what?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:26 PM
Yes I did. She was the one who drew the very sad picture in her "diary." I was Hoping things would get better but they aren't and im seeing how much its effected her by talking about dads in school.

Quoting Anonymous: Did you post something about your dd not too long ago?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:27 PM
Thank you!

Quoting Hoffland87: Yes I would so sorry this has happened to u both
amandajoy21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 It doesn't seem like it would be worth it. Obviously, she has reached a point where she is aware that her family is different from her classmates familiies. If the she looks to another man as a father figure she could participate in those activities at school with him. No one needs to know that he isn't her bio dad just that she thinks of this man as a father.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:28 PM
The thing is, they had been talking about dads for a whole week. I cant keep her home for a whole week. Is have no problem with them talking about dads, but it would be nice to also talk about papas too or that all families are different. =\

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

 My nephews lost their mother several years ago, and every year their teachers have helped them make items for me and/or my mom.


You might want to consider finding out what day they plan to do the Father's Day celebration and keep your daughter home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:30 PM
We had A LOT of snow days this year so they had a lot of make up days. LOL

Quoting MicheleJM: I probably wouldn't. Your dd is always going to hear about dads and fathers day. Maybe she can address cards to her uncles and explain to the teacher that they act like fathers to her. In other words teach dd that she herself can educate the teacher about papas and uncles kwim? On another note..did my kids get out of school early or what?
LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:30 PM
Did they say she couldn't talk about her papa?

Quoting Anonymous: The thing is, they had been talking about dads for a whole week. I cant keep her home for a whole week. Is have no problem with them talking about dads, but it would be nice to also talk about papas too or that all families are different. =\

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

 My nephews lost their mother several years ago, and every year their teachers have helped them make items for me and/or my mom.


You might want to consider finding out what day they plan to do the Father's Day celebration and keep your daughter home.

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