Update #2: I'm not sure how much longer I can let it go on.
Previous post: http://mobile.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/20027439/Im_not_sure_how_much_longer_I_can_let_it_go_on
Dh told dd that we're having a bbq this coming weekend at the state park (it's 5 minutes from our house), and that her boyfriend is invited, as well as her friends and their parents. It's a little get-together for everyone to be informed about her birthday bash the following weekend.
Dd says, "I'll let him know, but I doubt he'll come." Dh asked why. Dd says that her boyfriend is "afraid" of us. Dh asks why. Dd says, "yall just scare him for some reason." Dh asks, "have we done anything to scare him?" Dd thinks for a minute, then says no.
She heads upstairs, then stops halfway, and looks at us puzzled. I ask her what's wrong. She says, "I've tried to get him to come over, even when you guys aren't here (but her grandmother is, who stays in her room most of the day, and boyfriend hasn't met), so that doesn't make any sense."
I ask dd what she thinks that means. She says, "I guess that means he just doesn't want to come over."
I ask her what she thinks THAT means, since he used to not have a problem coming over before. She says, "I guess he just wants us to be by ourselves." I ask her, "do you think that it's right for him to take up all of our free time with you, just so he can have you to himself?" She says, "No. I like hanging out with you guys. We always have a bbq and the whole family is over." I said, "well, Alisson and Will (two of her friends) don't have a problem coming over. They think we're kinda cool." Dd agrees with a few nods and a smile.
Suddenly, her face turns red, and she yells: "I don't care what you guys think! He loves me, and he makes me happy, and that's all that matters!"
Yep. I'm worried. I'm scared. I've never seen her like that. I thought the conversation was going well, even though I didn't expect DH to bring the subject up.
Update #2: boyfriend was invited. Yesterday, he told dd that he wouldn't be at the party because he had to have all four wisdom teeth pulled (mistake #1, as I'm a lead dental assistant).
She was upset that he wasn't coming.. she was crying. She called him and put him on speakerphone. She asked how he was feeling, and he said he was fine. We could hear music and lots of people talking in the background. She asked where he was, and he said he was grabbing some barbecue from a bbq place right down the road from us. She said, "oh, so you can go grab bbq at a restaurant, but you can't even drop by for my birthday party??" He huffed and puffed, then said he'll be here in 5 minutes.
When he walks in, he grabs a soda. I stopped him and explained that he's not supposed to have that kind of stuff after having his wisdom teeth removed. He laughed.
I made sure to make some soft foods for him, but he opted to eat the regular foods we had. His jaw isn't swollen at all, he's talking just fine, and all that.
So, after he ate, I told him go rinse his mouth (it's been 24 hours). He looked at me funny, so I asked him if the dentist told him about needing to rinse every 2 hours and immediately after meals. He said no.
So, I asked how the removal went. He said it was "ok," and that he just went to the dentist, they put him in the chair, sedated him via IV, and then he got woke up, and left (mistake #2). Then, he proceeded to show me the site of the IV on his lower arm... which was completely healed.
I said, "wow. And he didn't give you any aftercare instructions, even on paper? (to which he shook his head, and said "nope.") I wonder if he knows he can get in trouble for that, because it's an important part. If he didn't bother to tell you how to care for the incision sites, and you get an infection or dry socket, you guys could sue!" He cocked his head to the side and squinted his eyes.
I said, "oh, interesting. I'm a dental assistant. Last I checked, they don't do intravenous sedation dentistry inside the office. Which dentist was it that you went to, so I know to report him." Kid went pale and wouldn't even look at me.
Dd looked at him and asked to see inside his mouth, because she has to get hers pulled next month. He refused.
In front of 11 of their friends, she looked at him and said, "ya know, it's one thing for you to be uncomfortable. It's one thing to make up excuses to me and my parents for not wanting to come over. But, it's definitely another thing for my mom to catch you in a lie, and you STILL lie straight to her face, AND IN FRONT OF ME! I want you to get out, now." He left, then sent a text saying that he was sorry, but he doesn't think he should have to come over to our house just because he's dating her.