Last night he was 2 1/2 hrs late coming home. That just pissed me off more. His phone was off too.
When he finally came home he didn't say much at all. The kids were already in bed , thank goodness. I made them dinner early thinking DH and I were going to talk . Well that didn't happen. When he got here he seemed to be acting weird. Different than his normal self. I asked him if he was going to sit and talk with me . He said, " not now , I'm too tired " so he goes out in the garage and starts moving some things around , and fiddle around . That pissed me off more because he just said he was too tired to talk. I went into the garage and ask him again if he'll talk with me . ( now mind you I'm very calm while I'm talking to him ) he wouldn't look at me when he answered , saying no again. I said we need to talk ! Yesterday was unacceptable , and now tonight your late . What happened to at least calling me to let me know things so I know you're ok.
He said , I don't want to talk about it right now. He still wouldn't look at me and was even trying to keep his back to me. Like he didn't want me to see him or something. Plus he's a very talkative person normally . So for him to not want to talk is weird .
I walked away before I blew up. I went to bed. He slept on the couch again.
I'm combing through bank statements now. I already saw $50 was taken out the other day . It was at a certain ATM that actually does $10 increments. It's one we don't use often because of the fees .
I haven't found anything too crazy as far as withdrawals . The most taken at one time was the $50 . Most were $20 or $40.
I probably would have already noticed if large amounts were taken out.
My brother txt me asking how I was. I told him I was fine and would call him in a couple days.
Update #5 Well, he came home early. I gave him 2 minutes to put his shit down and start talking.
I told him I already know what's going on . What did he have to say for himself . He seemed surprised but not like extremely surprised. Well, he told me he's been doing coke. Not just coke, but FUCKING CRACK !!! That on Sunday he thought he could just do a little and come home and be ok. But he did too much and had to wait it out . Wwwwtttttffffffffffff. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I told him to get his shit and get the fuck out !!!!!! He put some stuff in a bag and left like a dog with it tail between their legs. Oh and I stopped him before he walked out of front door to get his bank card and credit card with both our names on it.
Wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf !!!!
I can't even process this shit !
Small eta ...... I just got back from bringing the kids for ice cream. We also rented the newer Hobbit movie . So I can't stay on .
For those of you thinking I kicked an addict to the street..... He's at his fathers house. Not on the street. I have no idea what's going to happen now. We will have to talk about it . He's been texting me saying how sorry he is and how he loves us. I txt him back saying I really need to process all of this. That we will talk tomorrow.
He sent another txt after that saying I need to talk to him. I msg'd back how when he didn't want to talk that was ok. So now I'm the one not ready to talk and to wait for me to contact him.
Update #6.....He didn't go to work today . He txt me letting me know and asked if we could talk about things. I told him to come to the house. I made like a late breakfast. The kids haven't really seen him much in the past few days and have been asking about him, so we all ate together. After we all ate I told the kids to go in the backyard and play for awhile. We talked and talked and talked. I yelled once or twice and cried a bunch too.
Apparently he was hanging out with some guys from work a few months ago. They were drinking, playing cards and goofing off. Someone had some coke. He did some. He went and hung out with his buddies again another time and did coke again. This time the guy that brought the first time , told DH he had a better way to do it. And my idiot DH smoked fucking crack. He said he tried it and liked it . Did it a couple more times and he was hooked. The address I found was where this guy lives ( in the apartments )
We talked about what his next step is . He told me he is truly sorry and never meant for it to get out of hand . Our problem is that he can't just go to a rehab . He'd lose his job. So we are calling different places asking about out patient therapy . Plus I told him he needs to go to NA meetings. I'm going to go to AlAnon .
He said he told his father last night. For now he's going to stay at his fathers until he is in therapy for a little bit. We'll go from there.
I feel numb.
UPDATE #7 .....
DH is still staying at his fathers . He signed up for an outpatient program . It wasn't easy to find one that would just take him not coming from a rehab. ( I didn't know that would be an issue ) If he has just one positive drug test they will no longer see him. He goes 3 times a week. Plus he is going to meetings almost everyday . We see him almost everyday . He stops by after work and eats dinner with us when we have a regular dinner. We are trying to keep it as "normal" as it could possibly be , for the kids. We spend time together on the weekends as a family. His dad has been supportive as well. There were a couple times DH told his dad he didn't trust himself and asked if he would bring him to a meeting. He said he'll do whatever he can to help his son.
We are taking it one day at a time.
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