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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I make my teens happy?

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:02 PM
  • 45 Replies

I honestly do not know how to make my 2 teenagers happy any more. When I have money to spare I allow them to go to the mall or movies with friends. I allow them to have sleep over at friends if I know the parents and I welcome all friends here.

This weekend one wants me to drive an hour and half down to a grad party, drive home and drive back down at her call and back home. I said NO as I don't have the gas money plus she hasn't done any chores. Yes, she has pack part of her room but its not fully done. All she has done today is scream at me over it.

The other wants me to take him to his "girlfriends" house leave him there with no parents at home and pick him up when he calls. I said no and now he is demanding to go live with his REAL FAMILY aka his dad. His dad hasn't been in life since he was 6 years old but any time he gets mad he says he wants to live with his dad. Twice in the last 3 years I've talked to my ex and we start to make arrangements for DS to go live with him and DS freaks out that he doesn't want that.

Both say I don't love them nor trust them. I said fine we get to Texas you do what ever you want and you deal with the outcomes. I set ground rules that Sun-Thursday they have to be home by 10pm and Fri-Sat they have to be home by 12am now both are screaming that isn't what they want. Ok tell me what you want and they said I'm just a bitch that doesn't understand this is the 21st century.

Ladies how do I make them happy? DD will be 14 end of Aug and DS will be 16 mid of Sept.

Yes, life has been rough we live pay check to pay check but when we have money to spare we treat them to what they would like to do. We are moving to make their lives better so were not living pay check to pay check any more.

by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Listen, Mom, you cannot make 16 and 14 year olds happy when you cannot grant their every wish, no matter how unreasonable. Both these particular requests are unreasonable and on some level, they know it.

They can express their displeasure. They cannot call you the B word. I
Would warn once that X privileges will be removed for 3 days if it happens, and then do it.
nopenope666
by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:09 PM
I can't believe you let them talk to you like that and they have lifes at all. Maybe that's part of your problem.
Momof2Stepof3
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:12 PM

Taking things from these 2 doesn't even phase them all they will do is sleep all day if I take things away. I had to take DD's phone and tablet away a few weeks ago and all she did was eat and sleep.

Quoting TranquilMind: Listen, Mom, you cannot make 16 and 14 year olds happy when you cannot grant their every wish, no matter how unreasonable. Both these particular requests are unreasonable and on some level, they know it. They can express their displeasure. They cannot call you the B word. I Would warn once that X privileges will be removed for 3 days if it happens, and then do it.


Foolynroo2
by Emerald Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:12 PM

YOu need to get a back bone and stop resorting to washing your hands with them when they say things that are mean and hurtful.

You should remain the parent - and adult and tell them shouting hurtfulthings they don't mean won't let them get their way.

and why the HELL are you letting 14 and 16 year olds tay out unti midnight?

eztwins
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:14 PM
I think your first mistake is trying to make them happy.

My dad gave me some great advice when I had kids:

You can never make everyone happy so make sure at the end of the day your happy...it usually means you did your job that day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:15 PM
So take her snacks too. Just Oatmeal (or something similarly bland) and no blankets during the day.

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

Taking things from these 2 doesn't even phase them all they will do is sleep all day if I take things away. I had to take DD's phone and tablet away a few weeks ago and all she did was eat and sleep.

Quoting TranquilMind: Listen, Mom, you cannot make 16 and 14 year olds happy when you cannot grant their every wish, no matter how unreasonable. Both these particular requests are unreasonable and on some level, they know it.

They can express their displeasure. They cannot call you the B word. I
Would warn once that X privileges will be removed for 3 days if it happens, and then do it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:17 PM

You don't have money to spare if youre on go fund me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:17 PM
Your kids have far too much freedom. Midnight? Really? What are they out doing at that hour? If my kids called me a bitch they would be grounded and lose all electronics! And they would not be sleeping the day away They would be busting their ass all day with house work and yard work! You can't make teens happy. Nothing you say or do will ever please them. But they need to learn to respect your decision.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:21 PM
Stop trying to make them happy worry about raising them to be well adjusted responsible adults. When they want to do something ask yourself what a good responsible parent would say , not what would make them happy right now.
maureen813
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:21 PM
I am a clinical therapist working with children and adolescent, I have a thirteen and sixteen year old daughter and I can not figure out how to make them happy, they are often content just complaining and I just let them! They will live!
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